I feel that this deserves a proper critical review.
Firstly, I applaud you OP for putting yourself "out there" and posting this! Many rather lurk or at best offer an antipathetic post and I feel this is not fair to you.
Now let me begin with my critical review!
The idea, the structure of your gibpost was heavily muddled. If there was any creativity it was overshadowed by the original cartoon running concurrent with the added text and dialogue you provided with I presume was your own voice.
A good way to express what I mean is for example; take a heavily sampled modern day song for instance. This song has so much of the
original song in it that the new song doesn't even really sound like a new song at all! Instead, this "new" song only sounds like a copy of the heavily sampled song it borrows so much from. The listener only hears the heavily sampled song, and not the new song!
It's alright to use original art as inspiration, but one must be careful not to use too much of the original art itself, or the newly created piece appears to be nothing more than a cheap knock-off and disengenuous at best.
This brings me to your added voice. Do not do that ever again. It's not that it is a bad voice, it's simply an unremarkable voice. It carries the tones of a typical nerdvoice! Voice should only be added to creative material if it illicits a reaction. Good or bad, it makes no difference but the voice must garner some type of response from the listeners and yours added nothing.
1. I believe you "played it safe" with this post, Tenderizer.
You posted half-heartedly and it shows in the final product. You need to let go of all inhibitions, do not post what you think
others would want you to post. No! post what
you want to post for others and you will win no matter what! Follow your heart, Tenderizer.
2. I believe you have hidden nerd talent, Tenderizer.
Real, palpable
nerd talent that is being left untapped! Embrace what it is that makes you different, Tenderizer. Do not be afraid to step out into the parameters of the unknown! Show yourself to us, more importantly show yourself to
yourself.
To finish my critical review, I'd like to leave you with an image and quote from the great André Gide. Take these words to heart, Tenderizer.
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“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― André Gide