How to play a dwarf rogue on p99 blue server. A tribute to EBK BLUUHD.

skarlorn · #1 10-26-2016, 04:18 AM

To play a dwarf rogue on the p99 blue server first you must create a dwarf rogue. Make it male so that you have access to the barrel roll animation. The quality of life improvement from this animation is incalculable. It is also socially empowering to court dwarvish women played by human men.

You will put all of your points into strength. Character strength is an essential ingredient to success. Strength of will is important, but not as important as brute strength. With raw strength you can crush a skull between your palms. You can bench press an ogre. You can back stab for 100+ damage. That is power.

Put your remaining points into CHA or INT. The best rogues are strong, Charming, and geniuses. Always in that order. It is important that your stats accurately reflect how you will navigate project 1999 blue.

You can choose any of the faces available to dwarves. However, handsome dwarves are objects of distrust so I encourage you to pick the ugly ones.

Now you have to name your character. Do not violate naming policy. Do not take from any lore or make a joke. Your name should be harsh to human ears. It should clash consonants and be ungainly to say. If it feels awkward in your human mouth, it is probably a good dwarf name.

This is the hardest part of playing a dwarf rogue for many players. Do not be upset if it takes you 8-10 hours to create a good name. It is likely that your social environments have dulled your inborn creativity. In fact, you probably identify yourself as an uncreative person. However, to truly succeed as a rogue one must be a creative genius.

We are taught by our parents, teachers, and types of entertainment how to think about ourselves. This is called programming. It is possible to program a human. The US government and the Soviets mastered the art of creating sleeper agents. These are Individuals who were programmed from birth. They have had intense, specific trauma to split their self states. This allows for garden variety mind control. All humans are highly creative, spiritual masters. However, in order to maintain a global oligarchy, it is vital that the mass of civilization be kept content, stupefied, and unable to express itself. This was accomplished in the mid 1970s. Now, we are being experimented on with affectless outlets for our expressions. Furthermore, we have been trained to lack self awareness. The ever diminishing presence of quiet time has dulled the average person's ability to even understand their basic emotional palette.

Everquest is considered one of these traps by some. These players are usually ogre warriors, Monks, or paladins. However, a true dwarven rogue will realize the creative potential in Norrath. And he will express it.

First, you must destroy your Dagger*. It is also acceptable to leave it in your inventory, but only if it remains there in the top slot for your entire leveling career. This is to remember your roots as a slumdog of Kaladim. Next, you must turn in the note to receive your tattered shirt. Destroy this immediately. You must never accept an item for free, in this game or in real life. Nothing is free. If someone tries to give you something for free, refuse. They are trying to establish control over you. Always pay for your items, even when given to you by the System or an NPC.

Now, delete all your Skins of Milk. You will never drink a non alcoholic beverage again.

Go to the mountains and hunt dwarven skeletons. Do this until you have acquired at least one new weapon. I recommend getting four. This is how you will feed yourself. This is how you will stay drunk.

Dwarven skeletons are the risen bones of your ancestors. They are not to be pitied, especially if they are of another clan. Destroy them and desecrate their bones.

With your loot, return to Kaladim. Sell the weapons. Buy five muffins and 20 bottles of mead. Mead is not a dwarf rogues drink of choice, but you must make do for now. Drink two mead.

Find the blacksmith. Buy a sharpening stone. Sharpen your weapon in the forge.

If you are level three, train hide.

Now make your way to the druid ring. Do not take the boat. You are dwarf. You are not meant for the sea. Thinking about boats makes you feel sick. Drink another mead.

Now you must wait for a druid to appear. It is best to find a wood elf. They lack strength and are easy to intimidate..
When you find your mark, ply him with a muffin and three bottles of mead. Show him it's okay by drinking a Mead. Do not give him more mead. Elves are very frail and do not tolerate booze well. This weakness is to your advantage.

Take out your weapon. Put it near the elfs chest. State clearly your demand. Make sure he ports you to the West Commons. If you have the Strength, torque the druid into binding you in Rivervale.

Here is the final lesson for now. You have left Kaladim for good. Dwarves, including yourself, are a greedy, foul people. They are too hard to take advantage of. You must now establish yourself somewhere in Antonica. The trolls will execute you. The ogres will eat you. Dark elves will give you to the nearest troll or ogre. You must to to human cities or to Rivervale.

Go to Rivervale.

fan D · #2 10-26-2016, 04:35 AM

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RDawg816 · #3 10-26-2016, 07:08 AM

If the druid is powerful enough, they can port you to Misty Thicket.

kgallowaypa · #4 10-26-2016, 08:49 AM

dafuq, too early for this in the morning

Sillyturtle · #5 10-26-2016, 07:26 PM

I want the next chapter!

Lhancelot · #6 10-26-2016, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

To play a dwarf rogue on the p99 blue server first you must create a dwarf rogue. Make it male so that you have access to the barrel roll animation. The quality of life improvement from this animation is incalculable. It is also socially empowering to court dwarvish women played by human men.

You will put all of your points into strength. Character strength is an essential ingredient to success. Strength of will is important, but not as important as brute strength. With raw strength you can crush a skull between your palms. You can bench press an ogre. You can back stab for 100+ damage. That is power.

Put your remaining points into CHA or INT. The best rogues are strong, Charming, and geniuses. Always in that order. It is important that your stats accurately reflect how you will navigate project 1999 blue.

You can choose any of the faces available to dwarves. However, handsome dwarves are objects of distrust so I encourage you to pick the ugly ones.

Now you have to name your character. Do not violate naming policy. Do not take from any lore or make a joke. Your name should be harsh to human ears. It should clash consonants and be ungainly to say. If it feels awkward in your human mouth, it is probably a good dwarf name.

This is the hardest part of playing a dwarf rogue for many players. Do not be upset if it takes you 8-10 hours to create a good name. It is likely that your social environments have dulled your inborn creativity. In fact, you probably identify yourself as an uncreative person. However, to truly succeed as a rogue one must be a creative genius.

We are taught by our parents, teachers, and types of entertainment how to think about ourselves. This is called programming. It is possible to program a human. The US government and the Soviets mastered the art of creating sleeper agents. These are Individuals who were programmed from birth. They have had intense, specific trauma to split their self states. This allows for garden variety mind control. All humans are highly creative, spiritual masters. However, in order to maintain a global oligarchy, it is vital that the mass of civilization be kept content, stupefied, and unable to express itself. This was accomplished in the mid 1970s. Now, we are being experimented on with affectless outlets for our expressions. Furthermore, we have been trained to lack self awareness. The ever diminishing presence of quiet time has dulled the average person's ability to even understand their basic emotional palette.

Everquest is considered one of these traps by some. These players are usually ogre warriors, Monks, or paladins. However, a true dwarven rogue will realize the creative potential in Norrath. And he will express it.

First, you must destroy your Dagger*. It is also acceptable to leave it in your inventory, but only if it remains there in the top slot for your entire leveling career. This is to remember your roots as a slumdog of Kaladim. Next, you must turn in the note to receive your tattered shirt. Destroy this immediately. You must never accept an item for free, in this game or in real life. Nothing is free. If someone tries to give you something for free, refuse. They are trying to establish control over you. Always pay for your items, even when given to you by the System or an NPC.

Now, delete all your Skins of Milk. You will never drink a non alcoholic beverage again.

Go to the mountains and hunt dwarven skeletons. Do this until you have acquired at least one new weapon. I recommend getting four. This is how you will feed yourself. This is how you will stay drunk.

Dwarven skeletons are the risen bones of your ancestors. They are not to be pitied, especially if they are of another clan. Destroy them and desecrate their bones.

With your loot, return to Kaladim. Sell the weapons. Buy five muffins and 20 bottles of mead. Mead is not a dwarf rogues drink of choice, but you must make do for now. Drink two mead.

Find the blacksmith. Buy a sharpening stone. Sharpen your weapon in the forge.

If you are level three, train hide.

Now make your way to the druid ring. Do not take the boat. You are dwarf. You are not meant for the sea. Thinking about boats makes you feel sick. Drink another mead.

Now you must wait for a druid to appear. It is best to find a wood elf. They lack strength and are easy to intimidate..
When you find your mark, ply him with a muffin and three bottles of mead. Show him it's okay by drinking a Mead. Do not give him more mead. Elves are very frail and do not tolerate booze well. This weakness is to your advantage.

Take out your weapon. Put it near the elfs chest. State clearly your demand. Make sure he ports you to the West Commons. If you have the Strength, torque the druid into binding you in Rivervale.

Here is the final lesson for now. You have left Kaladim for good. Dwarves, including yourself, are a greedy, foul people. They are too hard to take advantage of. You must now establish yourself somewhere in Antonica. The trolls will execute you. The ogres will eat you. Dark elves will give you to the nearest troll or ogre. You must to to human cities or to Rivervale.

Go to Rivervale.

I put this up there with Sneaksy. Get to the next chapter dude!