The End of All Raid Disputes on Project 1999

[Juntsie]

Dear Project 1999 Raid Community,

Juntsie sad he make this post cuz it will cost him business, as he offer raid dispute resolution services at competitive rates wit guaranteed gud results. But, Juntsie always tinking of good of server first, so he make post with BIG IDEA.

Before Juntsie suggest how to solve all raid dispute for gud, server must understand why raid dispute arise. The real cause of raid dispute is not well understood or known by community. Juntsie, however, has performed numerous published studies and identified the following, sole cause of all raid disputes:

ISSUE: Male Raider Want Moar Pixel to Impress Females

Most raider try to deny this cuz embarrassed but it truth. Dey tink dat magical raid loot cause scarce EQ female to admire dem, and want to exchange intimate communications in tells. Dey think glowing big sword going to make female tink, "OOOOOH, I wonder what is in pants!!!!!!" Dis true to certain extent, but only cuz male raider give female item for free. In end, raid dispute all about trying to impress female. So, Juntsie offer conclusive resolution to raid dispute:

SOLUTION: Change all raid-quality loot to naked placeholder and blunt staff, so raider look like level 1 character.

No one tink raid so important anymore if dis happen cuz they will have to impress female in other way, as female not impressed by naked person who sit in one spot too long. In fact, female find naked person who sit in spot staring at wall too long creepy. Accordingly, no one fight over spawn anymoar. GM no longer have to baby-sit raid. At worst, everyone naked, including raid female, which will improve community morale.

Juntsie request dat GMs consider this bold, innovative server policy suggestion.

[myriverse]

There are no female raiders. That's a myth.
Raiders are never going to impress females, anyway. That's an even bigger myth.

[Ele]

Originally Posted by myriverse [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

There are no female raiders. That's a myth.
Raiders are never going to impress females, anyway. That's an even bigger myth.

Sony lied to me???

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[fastboy21]

Originally Posted by Ele [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Sony lied to me???

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This is a small lie by SOE standards.

[Juntsie]

Originally Posted by myriverse [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

There are no female raiders. That's a myth.
Raiders are never going to impress females, anyway. That's an even bigger myth.

Juntsie dispute dis! Dere are female raider, look at screenshot of raid. It hard to tell what under dere pixels, but cannot dispute dat female raider, and some raider female under pixels. Juntsie not dispute dat this rare tho.

Sony add show dat it fully aware of Norrath desire to impresss female, and is evidence of Juntsie theory. Juntsie publish many well-read treatise documenting da raid-loot-female phenomena.

Moreover, some female impressed by raid pixel cuz means to get item and attention from male raider, which helps bashing.

[Ereni]

Originally Posted by Juntsie [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

At worst, everyone naked, including raid female, which will improve community morale.

One sided and unnecessarily not classic. Didn't expect this from you, Juntsie. On a serious note I'm sad you didn't really think this one through. But anyway, I know where you stand now, so let the comedy continue!

[Juntsie]

Originally Posted by Ereni [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

One sided and unnecessarily not classic. Didn't expect this from you, Juntsie. On a serious note I'm sad you didn't really think this one through. But anyway, I know where you stand now, so let the comedy continue!

Juntsie realize dat ending raid dispute, for gud and all, require great sacrifice. End justify means, so dey say. If naked is way to solve raid dispute, den all become naked, ultimately. Everyone eventually raid and get naked raid gear in Velious cuz raid mobs are dime-a-dozen. Being naked not so bad, even in cold North of Velious.

Juntsie sad Ereni sad at Juntsie over only solution to raid dispute. Juntsie try hard to tink of ther ways, and use computer to calculate other possibilities to no avail. Simulated complex synaptic models simulations plainly show that if the raid disputes are allowed to continue, sever will devolve into chaos and no one bash anymoar! Dis cannot happen!

Beside, everyone naked not so bad. Ereni cannot dispute dat rippled, chizzled Ogre/Troll physique is aesthetically pleasing. Juntsie certainly tink it is.

[Swish]

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[Gregor]

Originally Posted by fastboy21 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

This is a small lie by SOE standards.

Hahaha so true

[Laugher]

Originally Posted by Swish [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

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