laggy connecton while using IP exemption

[Torrent]

i was very greatful to have received an IP exemption, but upon receiving it, we logged in and the latency was super high on my computer. if i logged in first, my bud couldnt ever get the server select page to load. if he logged in first, i could log in and my latence would quickly ( took about 3 min) rise from around 100ms to well over 10000ms. as you can guess, game play was less than enjoyable. we tried everything we could think of. taking down the firewal, we put EQ in the allowed list on the firewall. we tried over and over listening to random suggestions about decreasing frame rate and messing with graphics. we even turned off all non-essential messages such as others hits, spell crits, etc. does anyone know how to make this work so we can both enjoy my DSL broadband and keep our latency down to a reasonable level?? any help would be greatly appreciated. thank you