Scared of own parents?

[SorenVC]

Hi. I wanted to ask you guys for some help. I am 28 years old and I live in my 1 room apartment, it's cheap and it has everything I need. I only moved there about a year ago when I was 27. I work as maintenance mechanic.

But sometimes my parents judge me. I don't really interact with my father much anymore I just help him work on the house that they bought or he repairs my car and I help him. And my mother helps me with other things too but sometimes they judge me or put guilt and fear in me. I don't really know how to deal with them sometimes.

They just say stuff like "you're dumb" or "you're spending too much money on useless things, you're wasting your money" or "you're mentally ill" even though I'm always calm and easy to talk to. Am I supposed to just be calm all the time and take it? Cause that's what I am going to do lol.

I asked a friend from work and he said to just not care about it so much and it would be their problem since they are angry. My parents are just sometimes angry with my choices especially around money and they get angry at me. But it's my money and I'm 28 so can I not spend it?

And when I was young my father would shout at me for having bad grades. The grades didn't get better though. I just wanna ask you if my father or my mother suddenly become very angry at me or try to put shame and guilt on me, what should I do? Just be calm and ignore it? That's what I came up with. It works but inside it hurts sometimes what they can say.

[SorenVC]

Like they always criticize me and I'm just beyond scared of them at this point. They had so many emotion outrages that I just fear them now. I'm scared to say anything wrong when they're around. I don't know how to deal with them anymore so I avoid them.

[Reiwa]

They were counting on you to support them in their senescence and you let them down.

[Botten]

Maybe a second job

-Get you out of the house more and away from them and closer to others
-You will make more money satisfying your parents and showing you are trying
-Your time will be so occupied you will be saving most of your money rather than spending it
-With all this activity you may even find a partner
-Parents are only harsh to wake you to the trials of adulthood; they are taking care of you the best they know how too.. fixing what you need fixed to live, providing advise and they are there if you fall. They maybe judgemental but they are still there for you.

I had to stop playing this game when I got my degree and after I came back; when I felt I was successful enough. If I was playing this game it would definitely have ruined my studies.

[SorenVC]

You sure? They are both engineers while I am just a maintenance mechanic and they are making more money than me. I will care for them and drive them to a hospital if they can't do so themselves, if they ask for help.

But money wise I don't see that they would need my help. They bought a house and I'm sure they have enough money. Also what's with pension? I can live on my own pension when I'm old, so can they. I don't understand what you're trying to say here?

[shovelquest]

It's ok you can eat them during the post ww3 famines.

[SorenVC]

Originally Posted by shovelquest [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

It's ok you can eat them during the post ww3 famines.

Ahh the jokester. Something every forum post is in need of!

[SorenVC]

Originally Posted by Botten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Maybe a second job

-Get you out of the house more and away from them and closer to others
-You will make more money satisfying your parents and showing you are trying
-Your time will be so occupied you will be saving most of your money rather than spending it
-With all this activity you may even find a partner
-Parents are only harsh to wake you to the trials of adulthood; they are taking care of you the best they know how too.. fixing what you need fixed to live, providing advise and they are there if you fall. They maybe judgemental but they are still there for you.

I had to stop playing this game when I got my degree and after I came back; when I felt I was successful enough. If I was playing this game it would definitely have ruined my studies.

So if I work a full time job in Germany, like 40 or 45 hours per week, can I STILL get a 2nd job like McDonald's or Burger King just for 1 day on Saturday or HOW does this work I have never looked into the 2nd job mechanics?

[shovelquest]

Originally Posted by SorenVC [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Ahh the jokester. Something every forum post is in need of!

Even the tribulation deserves a little levity. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[SorenVC]

Originally Posted by shovelquest [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Even the tribulation deserves a little levity. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I just told my mom on WhatsApp what I was afraid to tell her, and she was very nice to me. It looks like I overthinked and overreacted in my mind. Guess that's that OCD that my angry father taught all my life. Looks like it really was only my father after all, and my mother is the nice one. YES, I have DADDY ISSUES confirmed. Finally I know this. I didn't expect my mother to react so calm. I thought she would be angry like my dad.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, asperger, psychosis when I was 16 and since then I am taking anti-psychotics. I'm reducing the dosage now slowly and feeling more in control and happier. I will get it down to 2.5 mg soon, it is 5 mg now. But man I do really have OCD and fear like a child. I am so nervous and fearful when I reduce the dosage. On 7.5 mg Olanzapine Zyprexa I was simply dulled and lethargic. Now I'm more in control and can feel feelings again, but they're strong. But I started to workout again and I don't have a constant headache anymore.