Boobie Taunt

[Xaleban]

This is an old thread from back in the day. If this has been posted somewhere forgive me. I think it is awesome. This was a real petition and a real GM responding.


You petition, 'Xegony is attempting to take
advantage of Hackhuis's intoxication by jiggling her ample bosom in an
overly suggestive manner. This "Boobie Taunt" frequently causes Hackhuis to
forget his duties e.g. hitting attack and standing still for 40 minutes. We
feel this is unbalancing to game mechanics and should be remedied
posthaste.'

...


You say to your guild, 'I'm still waiting for a
reply to my Boobie Taunt petition.'

...

Feness tells you, 'Greetings! Guide Feness at
your service. How can I help you tonight'

Players in EverQuest:
---------------------------

* Guide * Feness (Wood Elf) ZONE: cshome

You say to your guild, 'HAHAHA they answered!!!!

Styxus tells the guild, 'lol no way'

You told Feness, 'Well, my petition was
concerning Xegony's propensity for wiggling her ample bosom in a suggestive
manner, it's causing our tank to forget his duties, e.g. standing still with
attack on and pressing taunt'

Feness tells you, 'May I just say.. HAHAHA HA

You told Feness, 'We have dubbed this the "Boobie Taunt" and we feel it is
unbalancing.

Feness tells you, 'I am sorry i dont mean to laugh but that was the best
thing I have heard all night long'

Feness tells you, 'what do you suggest I do about this?

Feness tells you, 'should I tell Hackhuis to please ignore the boobie taunt
and remember he is a warrior and should be above temptations of the flesh
especially from a hussy such as xegony? '

You told Feness, 'Well, I've heard of certain powerful magic users
discovering a mystical "Diminuitive Mammary" enchantment that may reduce the
Queen of Air's formidable assets to a more workable level'

You told Feness, 'I suggest implementing said enchantment

Feness tells you, 'for that you would have to talk to the developers via
/feedback and let them know that they need to give Xegnoy a breast reduction
so the tanks will not be so mezmerzied by her "boobie taunt". '

Feness tells you, 'in the meantime I suggest using a female warrior that
might not be so easily charmed by her "assets" so to speak.

You told Feness, 'Strategic measures we did not take into consideration.
Thank you for your assistance.'

Feness tells you, 'i have sent Hackhuis a tell instructing him to perhaps
ignore the boobie taunt and try to kill her instead of drooling all over
her. '

Hackhuis tells the guild, 'lol guide harrassing me about boobies now'

You told Feness, 'Thanks for answering by the way =P'

Feness tells you, 'no problem.. thank you for the laugh. what a good way to end my shift tonight'

[Mirakk82]

STICKY PLZ

[Ektar]

sticky? it's not.. that funny...

[Knuckle]

im getting very mad at this meta troll

[radxical]

That's pretty hilarious.

[Sarkhan]

The boobie-taunt incident actually happened and Feness is still an active Guide on Cazic Thule server (or whatever server CT merged with)

[Humerox]

Fippy Darkpaw is the only known being who is unaffected by Xegony's booby taunt.

Fippy Darkpaw once beat Chuck Norris in a /duel.

Fippy Darkpaw is not afraid of Kithicor Forest at night. Kithicor Forest is afraid of Fippy Darkpaw.

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is not true. Fippy Darkpaw killed the cat. All of them.

Fippy Darkpaw can breathe in The Grey.

The Nameless is nameless because Fippy Darkpaw said it would be.

Fippy Darkpaw does not use the /loc command. He is always behind you.

A snake once kicked Fippy Darkpaw. This is why snakes no longer have legs.

Incidentally, a fish saw this and also tried to kick Fippy Darkpaw. Fish do not have legs. You do the math.

Fippy Darkpaw solo'd Kyv Heartstriker Jhiru. Naked.

Fippy Darkpaw CAN get SoW from Necromancers.

Fippy Darkpaw taught Fansy how to make trains. In fact, Fippy Darkpaw INVENTED trains.

Fippy Darkpaw pwned The Quon. Twice.

Fippy Darkpaw can synch his Magelo without being logged in.

Fippy Darkpaw's UI never breaks when SOE patches the game.

Fippy Darkpaw can not only outswim A Sea Fury Cyclops, but he can also zone without being on a boat.

Fippy Darkpaw is the only being who can punch A Cyclops between the eyes.

Fippy Darkpaw groups without a healer, a slower, a tank or crowd control of any kind. Fippy Darkpaw does not need a group. He just is.

There used to be a street in Qeynos named after Fippy Darkpaw, but the name was changed because nobody crosses Fippy Darkpaw and lives.

Fippy Darkpaw does not need Twitter. He's already following you.

Death once had a near-Fippy Darkpaw experience. Hence the ability to resurrect people.

Fippy Darkpaw once got angry and threw a rock. This is why Norrath has Luclin.

There are no toilets in Norrath because someone once tried to make Fippy Darkpaw Toilet Paper. Fippy Darkpaw does not take shit from anybody.

Fippy Darkpaw can always find Burned Woods.

All your base DO belong to Fippy Darkpaw.

Grrrr. Bark. Bark. Grrrr.

[Danyelle]

Post-Luclin un-Classic devil spawn joke is unfunny!