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#42
08-26-2010, 03:53 PM
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[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] I appreciate everyone's advice. I'd like to point out that I'm aware of the sobering realization that my problems are small compared to what others deal with. I'm more fortunate than I realize. My main predicament is living in an environment which is poisonous to my goals / aspirations. I do have a loving family, but they're not known for communication, reinforcing any sort of structure or encouraging positive change. The one thing that's probably a common factor in my family tree is a short fuse. It takes effort and careful self examination to be a self-motivator. At times I become overly critical. I slacked off in school, never gave the social scene much attention either. I jumped into college right after high school with something I thought I was happy with. I neglected the college experience and just worked 10 - 12 hour days up until about a year and a half ago. A couple friends had me coming up to stay at FAU and Florida State and I got a taste of the authentic college lifestyle (something that I'd be a fool to miss out on). During this same time I found something I was passionate about. It was from there my attention turned back to college full time. My current surroundings are more detrimental than anything else. Anytime a change of scenery is introduced I feel more confident with myself. When something offers a challenge I find myself more prone to overcome and thus more fulfilled with life in general. Getting the fuck out from where I'm at, and settling away at school for a few years is more appealing to me than just about anything else. It's priority number one. My infuriated behavior, anxiety and negative emotions draw from my insecurities as much as I can gather. My issue is that I'm aware of them, I see the problem, I aim to resolve it, but I become frustrated when my natural reaction(s) are ones I don't want. Like say you're afraid of heights and you take the step to immerse yourself in your fear in attempt to overcome it. My issue is sometimes I overcome it without any problem, and other times anxiety or anger is overwhelming EVEN THOUGH I'm consciously trying to fight it. Again, I appreciate everyone's advice and the time you took to read my concern. | |||
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#44
08-26-2010, 04:07 PM
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__________________
Athiyk Phor`Phalar - Priest of the Hate God.
Daishelo D`Avol - Coercer to the Spires of Innoruuk. http://db.goonquest.com/profiles/317 | |||
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#45
08-26-2010, 04:09 PM
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Whenever you change your environment, it offers you distraction, which allows you the same sort of escape that drugs allow some people. Once you become acclimated to each new environment, your real problems start setting in again, and you lose self-confidence or whatever, and spiral down again. You have 4 options as I see it: 1.) Quit being a baby; get over it. 2.) Spend the rest of your life in therapy. 3.) See a psychiatrist and get on meds. 4.) Kill yourself. Options 2-4 are for the weak hearted, and you don't strike me as that kind of person. Options 3 and 4 cost a lot of money, and you said you were broke, so I don't know if they apply to you. I recommend option 1.
__________________
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#47
08-26-2010, 04:21 PM
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But as I said, I'm conscious of it. I see the issue when it arises however I don't know why it does or how to resolve it. ex: Any given situation I've been in a thousand times. 9/10: Perfectly fine. On that chance occasion I'm overwhelmed, I become jittery / anxious / angry / frustrated. I'm not a psychologist and or a doctor. Is there some environmental or subconscious trigger? It it all in my head or is it a chemical imbalance? | |||
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#48
08-26-2010, 04:37 PM
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Honestly, as long as you're able to perceive the issue without help, you're really the only one that can help you. I recommend you snap out of it. You're perfectly able to decide to change. Anyone who tells you different is probably in therapy or on meds. You need a healthy dose of "fuck people" in your diet, and you'll be all good. ..as far as being angry about shit.. ..there are some non-therapy-style skill building classes (anger management, but shop around first, a lot of them are touchy-feely bullshit) that might be of use to you. I have seen people go through that shit and retain who they are without being all aggro and shit, because they have specific mental tools they can use to mitigate their natural urges.
__________________
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#49
08-26-2010, 05:24 PM
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No one can be perfect; you shouldn't expect yourself to be. It's not the falling down that matters, it's the standing back up.
__________________
Theophilus - Druid of the Earth Mother
Aarone - Paladin o' Brell "Tempus Fugit. Memento Mori." | |||
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#50
08-26-2010, 05:28 PM
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I know how you feel, I'm currently finishing up my masters in psychology, and I see alot of "mentally dead" people. I was never ridiculed or made fun of in school to your extent, and by no means was i the "popular" kid or the life of the party. You're still really young Straif, and even if you don't see yourself as "what you want to be" ask loved one's, and friends what makes them want to be around you, bet your suprised with what good qualities they talk about friend.
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