Quote:
Originally Posted by Danth
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It's curious how many people seem oblivious to that. Maybe desperation causes folks to lower their standards? If someone'll cheat on someone else, that someone will cheat on you just as readily. That applies to men and women both, works both ways. You should trust a cheat like you trust a scorpion--as something that will predictably act according to its nature because it knows no different.
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Completely agree. One I noticed, partly because I’ve done it too, is that everyone ultimately is going to act to some degree in their own self-interest. And this might mean keeping around a “back up” person as kind of a plan B while seeing someone else. As soon as things seem to be not working out with the original person, we start to kind of groom the “back up” person. For most people this grooming is not overt cheating, just becoming slightly more friendly towards them or maybe even communicating a tiny bit more frequently
I dunno why it is a comfort to have back ups. Maybe it’s a problem with me, but I don’t think I am nearly alone in it. I think unless you are a complete Chad you have been someone’s back up at one point. It’s not a great feeling, I know. Some people can’t handle it, and they freak out on the person who friendzoned them. I used to do this, but now with more confidence I have no problem with the idea of being a back up, as long as the person friendzoning me is considerably attractive enough
We tend to want to fuck up or across, not down, as Louis CK put it. So being friendzoned by someone you would see as a big step up to have sex with is more acceptable lol