For those who have 16+ hour daily play times

[JPMorgan]

Originally Posted by Lune [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Do you want to have the power to take time in your life to do the things you love? Lune will show you how.

1. Don't Have Kids - There are about 7 billion human beings on Earth. I think the human race will work out just fine without yours.

2. Stay Away From Women - Women are designed to keep you away from the things you truly love. At first they will support your interests, perhaps even share them-- but that is simply a maneuver designed to lower your defenses. They will burrow into your chest cavity, scrape out your heart and lungs, and lay their eggs in there. Then she will move on to find a new host and you will be left paying child support/vomiting blood.

3. Grow a Beard - A regal mane will not only help protect you from female predation, but it also serves as a useful adaptation to life in a dark basement. Can't see in the dark? Use your beard to feel around for energy drinks. Can't find food? Go stand next to a drive-thru and someone will usually buy you something off the value menu.

4. Quit Your Job - I know what you're thinking; every parent wants to see their child go out and make their own way in the world, right? Wrong. Your parents love you, and they want nothing more than to have you back in the house under their loving care. They will provide a comfortable basement lair in which you can properly pursue your love of online gaming.

5. Apply to TMO - This is the final destination of your journey. You've forsaken reproduction, shunned women, grown a magnificent beard, and dedicated your life to emulated classic everquest. Only the most dedicated have what it takes to dominate server content, and your dedication is clearly visible to all. Platinum and treasures will fill your bank as pizza boxes, soft drink cans, and ant colonies amass around you. Watch as an ecosystem forms in your basement, as ants, spiders, and mice vie for control of resources, while you compete for control of raid targets. This is what classic everquest is about. Congratulations, adventurer, for you have liberated your life.

This one goes to eleven.