Bi-polar

[Aviann]

At the beginning of this year I was diagnosed with minor PTSD, Major DD, and Bipolar disorder. Its been a rough one trying to figure out what kind of medication will level me out without having too many adherent effects on my routine life... For the most part, I've stopped being a complete dick to people irl, and have gone into a depression induced sub-coma full-time. It sucks, but at least I am here. Even if I'm not sure what side of my personality is actually who I want to be... I've struggled with jobs the entire year as well, from the beginning to end. Its discouraging when you go from having the same job for years and years to stooping low enough to catch something part time that you know you can keep, because you either can't sleep correctly or you can't handle people yet and be aware of the decisions that either you, or the medication, is making. It takes time, but don't give up.

Don't ever feel like you are alone in this battle, because considering half of America would scoff at some of the crap we deal with and say its just in our head, its just that... in our head. No matter how we may have been raised, it still boils down to a minor chemical imbalance that we can not help but try to better ourselves with over time.

A tip from me to you, if you can combat it without medication, please do it. An emotional lobotomy like Paxil should always be last resort for those who don't enjoy taking medication for the rest of their lives. I still wonder what's going to happen when they apply the maximum dosage to me... More or less afterward. Do I finally get Xanax after the bullshit I've put myself through? Hopefully so.