the GAINS thread

[MagpieRockyl]

Originally Posted by margatroid [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

im making gains but i am still in victim mode.

how long did it take you to get ur self back? were u heavily medicated for a long period? despite encouraging life developments, & my hitting of dunks, I am having a difficult time w my detox and continued sizzling pain. i feel guilty for being sick like im a recreational drug user again even tho im not. i present a huge pain in the ass for my credible male who i wish to uplift [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

words of encouragement sought.

jah bless you .

alice

I feel for you. Our situations are different so in shedding light on my recovery I will highlight some important variations.

1) I had a three stage surgery over a period of 6 months which meant I was largely KO'd mentally and physically for that time.

2) following the first surgery I had a life improvement since I wasn't bleeding and in chronic pain. So even in recovery life was already better in many ways. The second two surgeries were more like yours in that health didn't improve immediately. These were harder to recover from.

3) I took a small amt of pseudonarxotics after leaving hospital. Even then, the comedown was really bad. In hospital I had dilaudid. I took too much tge second time and it fucked me up badly for a week. Third time I was very cautious and only took one shot of dilaudid. I just fucking gripped the pain so I didn't have the physical symptoms of opiates. Basically I didn't suffer the same amt from withdrawals.

4) I stopped using pot altogether which as you know is a big life upgrade. So I had that going for me, which was nice.

My last surgery was in November. By January I was hitting the gym and working 40+ hrs a week. I still was recovering majorly though so this was a foundational rebuild period. In fact, I am still recovering lol but I'm like 80% there.

The most important thing is kicking the narcotics.

Have sympathy for yourself though. You needed to take them to get through the pain. Hold onto your anxiety and feelings of concern that you aren't operating at your goal level, but don't let them rule your emotions. That critical voice means you want to do better and so trust yourself, you WILL do better. But right now your body has to recover before you can regain executive control. I know it's frustrating. You're a smart and energetic person, so given the proper nurture I'm sure you'll get out the other side as a splendid cyborg transgender person :-)