FREEDOM

[Jimjam]

Originally Posted by Kohedron [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Here's my application:

1) Crooked, typically unwashed teeth
2) Large amounts of back acne, which is covered by carpet back hair
3) Over 300 pounds
4) I rule lawyer harder than OJ's attorney

So when do I start? I demand being an officer btw.

The back acne reminds me of my time abroad.


When I was in Greece I went to a Sicilian restaurant. I ordered a mushroom folded pizza. I joked about whether it was a front for laundering money and hoped I wouldn’t get whacked.

My MIL ordered the same thing but refused to finish it after a couple of bites as she thought it was bad. I ate all of mine.

Coincidentally I had some really severe stomach upset that night. I felt really bad, but happily due to timezone differences I had my raid to keep me company through the night. It was a sky or growth clear, my memory is hazy, but they kept me going when I felt like death.

After one particularly violent heave I felt a bubbling sensation travelling from my core outwards to the skin of my back.

That morning when my wife woke she screamed with horror as one side of my spine was a blooded scabby mess. Apparently my body had been so stressed at this sudden mystery illness it allowed for an outbreak of shingles.

We went to an american doctor and she was a bit of a hippy. She suggested making a raw onion soup and bandaging it to the area. We ended up going with the advice and medication of a different doctor.