Do you believe in fatalism or free will?

[Lune]

Originally Posted by NopeNopeNopeNope [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

ItÂ’s probably moreso the ASD making you quiet and shy IRL than anything else. ThatÂ’s pretty common. Def some benefits though from ASD in terms of your thinking and ability to dial in

I am also a Christian like you, and one thing you could try is going to Church? In most Christian churches they force us to socialize and greet one another with a handshake and saying “God’s peace” to everyone around you at the start of every congregation

If you want to continue to meet people a lot of Christian churches do a singles group sometimes after their sermons. Or you can do volunteering. For example IÂ’ve built beds for low income families who had kids sleeping on the floor with a church group of about 20 people. It was fun!

Forcing people who actually have ASD to socialize solely on others' terms is counterproductive and leads to autistic burnout. People with ASD never habituate, they simply become better at masking, most uncomfortable situations for them will never become second-nature. This is one of the reasons suicide is the leading cause of "preventable" death for autistic people and why one of the hallmarks for a diagnosis of high functioning autism is cycles of growth and implosion centered around major life milestones. Mask, unravel, decompensate, implode, repeat, often early in college or early in their first 'real job'.

That being said I imagine church would be as good a place as any for him to do some socializing without overloading.

I see a lot of shy, 'introverted', or socially inept people who say "Fuck it, I don't need anyone else, I'm happy being alone and that's what I will do". What they don't know is that no matter who you are, if you have a human brain, lack of social stimulation is as bad for your neurological health as pretty much anything. The neurological and cardiovascular risks of social isolation rival those of smoking, even in the absence of subjective report of loneliness. Additionally, if you subjectively report loneliness, even in the absence of social isolation, the outcomes are just as bad.

Like the rest of our body, our nervous systems are very much 'use-it-or-lose-it', and we devote an immense amount of our white and gray matter to everything that goes into socializing, from fast and accurate interpretation of nonverbal and context clues, to navigating social relationships, all while integrating these things into a robust and accurate theory of mind.

So autistic people in particular are doubly fucked because they are born with a deep flaw in those functions that they can never actually fix. With great effort, the sharp ones can learn to mask and function, but it will always be more effortful for them to function at a level that is normal for non-ASD individuals. And then if they withdraw entirely, their brains atrophy.