Confessions of a Rageaholic

[Sigmastorm]

I lost 22 pounds in 2 months after quitting p99.

Stop being a pussy and take some action.

[Goobles]

Straif man, good call quitting EQ. It's the best thing you can do for your life atm. Develop a regular sleep pattern, join a softball league or something.. who cares if your team sucks, have a beer or two and just let loose. I fucking SUCKED for 11 of 13 games.. then I started drinking at the games... and I went 6/6 with 2 rbis. Should have been more like 4-5 rbis but my team sucked. Oh well, what can you do? Go bowling or something. Get a good job, love life... make good friends. Eat well. Don't do any drugs, and don't drink too much.. unless you're in good company.

Seriously man... it's a good life. Live it.

[fugazi]

Go for a walk every day or every other day, preferably without an mp3 player. It does wonders for the mind, plus it's good for you. If you find things stack up inside you and you can't put them on a shelf, start writing. Get some paper and a pen and start writing things down that bother you, issues you're struggling with and all that jazz. Pick it up a week or two later and you'll be amazed at how you will feel about what you've written down.

I dont need to write things 'off' of me, I can do it simply by talking with friends and family, but I know it's worked wonders for people who went through some really nasty situations.

[Polyphemous]

"I didn't have anything of value on P99 so I'm sorry I can't give any leet stuff away.
I wish you had put this in the beginning of your post, would have saved me a lot of reading.

[Japan]

New experiences will free you from all of this! Make a major change in your life.

"Major" is relative, of course, and you've got to figure it out yourself. Quitting EQ was a good step. Now find something you're absolutely terrified of (and shouldn't be) and do it. This might mean hiking the Appalachian Trail for 4 months, or it might mean getting the balls together to ask out some broad.

Eventually these new experiences will lose their newness, and you might find yourself slipping back to the same rut. Do it all over again. Living is never easy.

[Hasbinbad]

Down the road please, not across the tracks..
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[PhelanKA]

Gee... Those suicide jokes never get old do they...?

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@OP - I wouldn't get help/advice from here. Get professional help or at the very least keep the Kodak moment shit to yourself. Quitting EQ and these forums would be an excellent start.

[Pabruzzese99]

Originally Posted by PhelanKA [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

@OP - I wouldn't get help/advice from here. Get professional help or at the very least keep the Kodak moment shit to yourself. Quitting EQ and these forums would be an excellent start.

Couldn't agree more. MMO players, including myself, are inherently greedy, narcisistic, exhaustingly judgemental (internet anonymity to blame for that) and more-often-than-not, have a false, transparent sense of authority on what's best for other people.

Get as far away from these assholes and shitbags, and get to a professional if you want a fighting chance.

[jenga]

EQ was one of the best games to rage at back in the day, and I'm sure that's why most of us are still here on P99 because secretly we all love to do the shit that makes us and others rage!

We're all pretty f'd up.

[SkullThrone]

I know how you feel bro...I really do. I was never overweight in really any way, good physique etc not upset with my appearance - on the contrary, I'm better looking than 95% of most men out there - It'd be too vain to say Im the better out of all of em, but I got no girl to show for - I mean thats what looks could be for ...right? (just from my own point of view, but my youth is withering, I feel it go now, EQ was 11 yrs ago..I played on Rallos now and then)...but I can connect with you on a very deep level, and though I read your post months back, and never responded, I did indeed as well play my share of EQ back in the day I was a PK...its something I have seen once more with the EMU, but in my case, I just feel like my youth is slowly withering...

I hear you loud and clear my friend on the part where you said about that girl how you just threw the chance you had with her away...oh my god, I hear that so clearly - I always managed to get caged up in some regret over this, and the problem is similar to yours man, expect for the fact that I know I am great looking and a really good, fun, down to earth and decent guy and confidence is not an issue - so many chances.. but I ignored it within and tempered myself into thinking that it doesnt matter, or they could just go with someone else just as easily...or, what the hell do they want with me...or..they have their own priorities they go their own way anyway or...Im always alone anyway, and its been so long whats the point -- its a depressing thought. At least take some confidence you aren't like me and hitting the big 3 o and still a virgin. Oh you can take your buddhist points of view, thats nice, feel calm and everything is right - but when it comes down to it...thats a lot of life with no love, especially when your pretty adequate and a raging sex beast to boot with no outlet - hard times with no prison but the cage that surrounds me. But you really touched on several feelings with that post I can totally 100% mega connect with, especially that one, believe me I really can if no one else that sees this can....

Thats terrible and pitiful people can even think of doing such things to others in what was it? Miami? ...

It's an even harder life when you have every single girl staring at you, and you cant do a Godamn thing about it...it'll shred you up in no time. I beat myself daily (not that way - heh, not always) mentally over it, and it boils me down within a little more with each passing day, just the whips and scorns of my own time that Im having a hard time finding ease in with this whole thing...its almost akin to..just an end of things...this whole being..but I take to extremes -- and its my fault because I know when (if ever, as I say Im just getting older and withering faster, or I feel as if it is that way) the next time anything female tries to step forward I will say something under my breath like..."ehy" and when she actually gives some silly number I got this whole self-loathing speel I have to just spill out when if it ever comes...been at least a decade since one that had any meaning to me offered one, heh.. funny thing is, I just bought a cellphone..will never use it, but its like god is throwing numbers at me because it is the easiest gdamn number in the whole world to remember - as if this force is mocking me or telling me hey its an easy number to remember, maybe you have some better chance...I dont know like you said man....the longer it is away from all the aspects of close sociality the stranger or weirder it is to get back into it...I had really great friends but those times are gone, and man, I dont know what to say, but I really wish I could send some kinda blessing to you, because Im all out of hope and shadowed over with all this - then again it could just turn into another man's curse, and damn no one deserves this...great person, nothing to show for..its the mentality of the compartmentalized megapolis..but I dont know, it is also not so great location even though it is pretty busy.

I always liked the comment someone made on this youtube video with that song by Sponge called Plowed:


"Alright, here is my interpretation. I'm firing from the hip here. To see wide open with a head that's broken = some negative experience has broadened the perspective of the speaker Hang a life on some tragedy = The mind opening experience is the fulcrum on which the speaker's life is balanced. ? Plow me under the ground that covers the message that is the seed = The speaker cannot surmount his troubles, but he will leave behind a message that might become something better."


That hit home for me, just the interpretation of the lyrics..so ya I dont know what to do anymore - doesnt matter what ya look like, who you are what you have how great of a person you may be..if there's no opportunity its like you cant squeeze blood from a stone, just how it is...for me at least. Im all over too, but oh well like they say in tibetan buddhism, a human life is a very rare thing with regards to the whole essence of incarnations and reincarnates etc...I absolutely love who I am but sometimes I scroll up within a secret death wish - funny thing is, I never felt that way when the youth is most succeptible to it, you know like in high school and such...had a great time then. Sad thing bein trapped in such a great body, great person, great attributes, ethics good takes and jokes and laughs and personalities on things, remembering how much of a good kid you mighta been..and then end up with nobody ever with ya. But its like even as if, every man is an island... dont let your anger get to you, work on what you can change try not to worry about what you cant..


Also, a.......very long time ago, when I was in the Nektulos Forest, (which I joined later to have a chance to fight the biggest guild on the server after I got forsaken) there was a certain....Necromancer....his name was Shadowmancer... after he had killed players here and there, and he said: "There is no EQ anonymous" being it all dark and such and crossing over the bridge it kinda stuck with me...its true...and it is pretty much a solo thing involved with others, and I guess it could even be extended to life itself, seeing everything else in such a way from our own characters pov...what is there to simply confide in within these realms.

Oh I got too involved with this post...I'll end it, but ya I hear you man I really do- best times to you, with the possible unexplored greatness of the unknown ahead..take care of yourself.