Don't be afraid to back your pet off. Remember, your pet doesn't have to do damage. All your pet is is a DoT that you don't recast every fight. If it goes just 40% damage, that's awesome.
Additionally, the others are right: If you adjust your playstyle appropriately to grouping, you can be incredibly good. The issue is you fight against years of necromancers going into groups, tossing out DoTs (not efficient when the mob dies ~10 seconds), not twitching, not healing, fearing mobs out of camp, shit like that. What I like to call, "soloing in a group". Necromancers get used to playing the way they solo, and when they do that style in a group, it makes all necromancers seem bad.
So, you struggle against that legacy, but if you group often, as often as you can, you'll level up with people of your level, and they will regroup with you, and so on.
You can be very good in groups. You can be very good in soloing. Don't let the pet stuff get in your way. Just back it off if you want the full XP.
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