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#41
06-15-2020, 05:54 PM
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Exercise is the most healthy drug. To paraphrase George Carlin:
Drugs works really well at really well at first, they give you a lot of pleasure with little to no pain. Over time though, the hangover increased and the high decreases. Soon they cause very little pleasure and a lot of pain. So you should acknowledge they don't work really well anymore at that point and quit. I find the hopeless addict types can't quit because of complete lack of self control. Where the more normal addicts wait until the drug starts getting bad (again) and quit. A minority never uses any drug... Frankly most of these I met I'm not particularly convinced are somehow better people... Nor are they necessarily the highest functioning or happy etc. Weed eventually gets to the point with most people where you have to smoke a lot to get even briefly high. So the products out there in the dispensary are sometimes targeting these people. If you do a ton of THC before you built up tolerance it wont kill you. But its not that pleasant. Tolerance is one of those things that comes on fast than fades slowly over the weeks. So it is a good trick to get only a little high...then 30 mins later try again getting more high....etc. Your tolerance 30 mins after smoking is relatively high usually. This is why its best for regular smokers to try to break up their smoke sessions in the day. This is also why total meth heads can't get high after awhile of staying up doing drugs and then start to "tweak" and get angry. Its why coke heads and gamblers lose all their money and drunks tend to start drinking so much they can die on a bender. But it works ok for weed. | ||
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#42
06-15-2020, 08:28 PM
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More to the OPs point:
If you go the Doctor using as-prescribed rout, the same principals apply its just the game is much more controlled. Doctors and legit pharm companies work together to keep you high and buying drugs from them*. They know how to get you on just the right amount before upping your dose. Also switching you up. You start out on Lexapro and before you know it you are on Gabapentin and Xanax. But in the end you have to either come down or resort to street drugs/unprescribed pills. They will taper you off and give you something for side effects. But its all just a more respectful and professional version of the street drug addiction cycle. *They love the private insurance system because they can charge like $2000 for a prescription to someone who barely makes that in a month. | ||
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#43
06-15-2020, 11:35 PM
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benzos are bad tho | |||
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#44
06-16-2020, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
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I'm the master of cold turkey stopping stuff btw like 1 week or 3 weeks in or whatever. The worst stuff. I have no problems changing shit up. I'm not an addict. I can even turn EQ off and walk away for months on end. I never had a 'need for lvl 60 and bis pixels' that some people suffer. Like I haven't had any over lvl 55 chars in a decade. I finally stopped deleting, so after 3 years, my wizard born 2017 is finally 55. I didn't play at all yesterday or forumquest even because I felt like it was a good time to get some space from it all. Yes exercise is the best. So is healthy eating. But y'know what I'm in enough pain to not want to exercise. So there is that. I've done both. Your girlfriend can tell you I went from a 224 obese fuck down to a sweet 170. (I think a little less) and in really great shape. I was still in a lot of pain though, and last year some stuff happened that just physically crushed me. I spent the last 2 days in bed, not even moving except to pee. No food, nothing, because fuck it. I'm not even really addicted to life. I had a gabbapentin last night. It took my 6 pain down to a 4, with a dull ache, and the 4 down to a 2, and the 2 pain down to a zero, but I felt rubbery and crappy. I didn't want to take another when I woke up this morning, but it stopped me from bashing my own skull in. The fucking weed dealers are shitheads way worse than the pharma companies and the government and docs. They rip u off, the method of delivery is shit. The drug is actually pretty bad if you are Christian and white at all. And you can easily get 15 yrs just for possession here. So I will stick with harassing my doctors for the refined and curated legal crap. I will not pursue THC because it's poor people poison and makes me psychotic. It removes the pain or makes me not care about it but not whatever underlying shit is happening. It just makes me feel like I can swing that axe with ease. That's not a good thing either. I swear to god, if you give me weed I will be at your throat in a manic crazed rage, just because I suddenly feel ultra motivated. Alcohol is real bad too. It seems like anything that can really impair judgement is a bad move for me. On alcohol I also get psycho and will also drink till I black out. That stuff is sedative in some people and the lack of judgement and rational thinking that comes from those drugs is fine when people just want to lay around. The last thing I want to be doing is just laying around. I'm a big fan of euthanasia, and giving people as much as they need pain wise, people are going to die, no matter what. The reason they die can be opiod overdose or gunshot to the face. Or exposure and starvation. I think it's pretty awful to shove some psycho in a lot of pain into a dank hole in the ground aka a shitty as prison psychward and let them lay around in their own filth and shit with the screams of all the other patients, when instead you could have just handed them a box of pills and they would have fucking maybe lasted another month and got to write a lil story for their family. My reason for taking the drugs: So I don't kill an "innocent" (I use the term really loosely) motherfucker with my last little strength and a brick. Like some god damn morlock. It's not even to avoid personal pain, which I can deal with and have lived with, forever. We all get to experience pain, until we are dead. That's life. It's normal and shouldn't be necessarily avoided at all costs. I routinely refuse pain meds and don't even take tylonal and ibuprofine in lieu of just laying there in excruciating agony because that shit fucks up ur liver and kidneys and I don't want to die of renal failure just yet. Also it takes a handful of em just to make a slight dent in the physical aspect of how I feel. Notwithstanding they do shit for muscle tension and the psychological aspects. I would argue in weeds case I am left also sicker and in more pain for a short time immediately afterwards. As much as the luddites, hipsters, and gangbangers want to profess weed is God's gift to humanity, they don't really know how it effects everyone and don't take into account some of us are devils walking this earth as far removed from God as we can be, whether we want to be or not. The pain I live with is the least of my problems. The psychosis, which seems to fly right over everyone's heads "how can someone be this psychotic and that functional all the time" is what needs to be treated. _I am definitely a worst nightmare kinda scenario in a human being_. It's extremely stupid to say 'prove it' before acknowledging there are some serious issues there that aren't going to be resolved with some ohm shiva's. Or a bit of namaste thinking. If the psychosis wasn't real, I wouldn't post about it. If the treatments and suggestions where effective, I'd be doing them (in fact am doing them) but I am very frustrated at this point. Y'know I think the news does people a disservice by not publishing every suicide note ever and letting the government cover up the motives and shit behind these shootings and how it happened, I am 99% sure columbine was government brainwashing and LSD. Control the poor with weed and children. Make the 80% live in abject terror of each other and dependent on the charity of the 20%. Soon the 80% can't manufacture weapons and lack the will and discipline to be organized to kill the 20%. GG. Except I'm not really bitching about that we are past that tipping point. There will be no altruistic destruction of those exploitative monsters who have managed to forge ahead through the chaos into positions of power (I'm a tad bit jealous). It's basically a game of "when do I lose it" and "who gets it". At this point. God's rolling those dice. Oh wait Einstein says he doesn't. No idea what God's plan is for me, he doesn't talk to me. Not sure if it's god or Satan that answers my prayers. The God one seems to be unable to drop a mountain on sodom for whatever reason in this day and age. Some decent pharmaceuticals could ensure that no one ever gets it on my misguided behalf. As I feel my control slip away more and more every day. Literally it's like I'm a puppet, and someone is forcing me to strike out, and I have to physically pull back and resist it. A week ago I hurt myself and broke some shit and absolutely terrified this asshole that deserved it. My doctors know. They are stupid fucks though. I'm not interested in another trip to the psych ward. I'm only speaking for myself here. RIP to the druggie scum who don't succeed in killing themselves first and wind up incarcerated because they are sloppy or duped into the black market. Or some low class shit like meth. Which was totally designed to create a maximum level of suffering and social pressure in order to keep you sheeple controlled and justify a massive prison industrial complex, police and cameras everywhere. Yeah, I am pissed off. | ||||
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Last edited by magnetaress; 06-16-2020 at 10:59 AM..
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#45
06-16-2020, 05:37 PM
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In Oregon, if you have "opiate use disorder" -- you can get the state to pay for your medication. I.E. the State will make sure you are nice and high on opiates and not withdrawing -- so you can go about your day (and hopefully get to work and justify this program!). You can get meth if your ADHD is bad enough: https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-9...n-oral/details You can probably get both, smash them up and snort them, and get the doc to slowly up your dose for years! My point is. Just being naive person going to see a doctor trying to make themselves feel better....gets you much closer to experimenting with street drugs that people want to believe. | |||
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#47
06-16-2020, 05:45 PM
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Mare, you should probably start by just looking into lexapro. You seem to need something more on the chill anxiety-reducing side. Unless its just the forum persona overcompensating for a shy person IRL.
Tranquilizers are unpleasant and used to calm down people having psychotic breaks or severe mood swings. People never really take these recreationally. Whenever you see animals shot with these darts...it doesnt look like they are having a great time. But it sure calms mr. Tiger down when we need to bring it to its new prison (the zoo). If you need them you need them. But they bring you down. They don't get you high. | ||
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#48
06-16-2020, 06:06 PM
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Hydroxazine was helping a little tiny bit when I wasn't bouncing off the walls, but I needed to take more than prescribed And an overdose didn't even slow my heartrate when I was having a recent episode, attack. It only lasted a few hrs but it was enough for me to get the accompanying adrenal fatigue and to have to lock my doors and OD. Just the one time. I stopped waiting and did the three times a day which was probably better for the anxiety build up. That still doesn't really help when triggered. Or when I am really just not able to cope because of pain. Fatigue. Or a situation outside of my control. I think you're right about a low dose of something mild and slow release maybe, and not an immediate tranq. The thing though is I know I can probably also just put myself to bed and deal with a severe episode without hospitalization too, if I could just incapacitate myself for a few hours and sleep it off. Not to mention reducing the trauma to myself and everyone, and the cost to the VA for an ER visit. There's quite a bit of build up and time to cope, do CBT. Dunk my head in cold water. Ground. Play soothing music. Do child's pose. I really do everything I can to stave it off and I still end up self harming pretty often I know after a few tries off calming without drugs if that's going to do it. Even with acceptance and commitment I end up becoming obsessively locked. Sometimes I think I am just reinforcing the emotion or trauma underlying the emotions over and over by fighting back emotionally and rationally and trying to jedi mind trick my way through nature's hardcoded biologic nuclear button. A lot of times when I am doing well CBT and spirituality and a little yoga is all I need. I do have stable moments or moments where I can redirect my anxiety towards something constructive. Which probably leads my doctors to think I'm bipolar. It's unpredictable though. Has more to do with childhood trauma and triggers around my dad's behavior or the specific shit I went through, which I'm not keen on rehashing. Nov-Febuary was always hell because my dad could use the holidays to hold us hostage with family obligations and would inevitably lash back out at my mom and his mental illness was definitely seasonally triggered. Not to mention as an adult my hospitalizations and suicide attempts generally correspond with the end of January. I don't think my shrink where, are tracking with that. Totally not looking for a way to get "high" or "feel good". I need a way to put the breaks on when someone's hair in the drain is making me stay awake for several days looking for ways to kill them. | |||
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Last edited by magnetaress; 06-16-2020 at 06:22 PM..
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