WTS Atheist Survival kit

[magnetaress]

What kit has all of the Twilight Movies on DVD

[Gugg]

Important message to current customers.

Dear Valued Customer,

The current version of the amazing Atheist Survival Kit is v1.14.12.5.6.55.98.33.1.6. If you are using an older version then you are at SEVERE RISK of not surviving. Please buy the latest version to stay secure and risk free. All previous versions are unsupported and obsolete.

All new kits come with a 3 month limited warranty; the best in the industry.

PS. No refunds, No transfers!

[magnetaress]

I don't want to survive...

[Gugg]

Taylor Swift is a cultural phenomena. She is historic and iconic. Therefore, I am proud to announce every Atheist Survival Kit now includes a rainbow themed Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. Woot!

Look cool, smart and stay safe with the Taylor Swift friendship bracelet (includes self-testing kit for several sexually transmitted diseases).

Wear yours with PRIDE!

(This message was paid for by Taylor Swift Productions).

[magnetaress]

Katy Perry > Taytay

[Gugg]

The Atheist Survival Kit has been updated to v1.15.6.65.45.99.45.89.13.

Please read the changes below.

Added

Cats DVD (2019)
Halal meat
Step by step guide on performing the perfect sign of the cross
Huge american flag and really tall flag pole for your front yard
Oval-shaped football
A book of sayings by dead people
A sign that reads, "Love Yourself"
A Bottle of Holy Water
A piece of the cross (2000 years old)
The Holy Grail (with specs of real blood)
Communion kit (wine and bread not included)

Removed

Pizza

Please note: All kits will become mandatory in the near future. Any citizen found without a kit shall be fined and/or imprisoned.

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by Toxigen [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[IMG]..[/IMG]

God damn that shit so spicy I had to pop a Mylanta for heartburn

Don’t give ban ammo if you can avoid it. Too few people on the forum already

[Gugg]

Not sure what day it is?

Keep missing the holiday season?

Well, you're in luck because all new kits purchased now include v0.1.5.8.5.4 of the Atheist Calendar.

Now you'll never miss "International Trigeminal Neuralgia Awareness Day" or "Juneteenth" ever again!

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Katy Perry > Taytay

My fav Katy Perry song, gets me jacked up

(Vid just for entertainment)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=

[Gugg]

Customer testimonials from satisfied customers

I recently purchased the Atheist Survival Kit. I was sceptical at first but now I can't imagine living without it! It even includes a Certificate of Authenticity so you know it's the real deal. It's so nice to see some honesty for a change. Thanks! - Cody (USA)

This kit has reduced the risk in my life by a whopping 89.7683999%. Buy it. Trust me, you won't regret it. Mine even came with a Noble Piece Prize! I've always wanted to be a scientist and now I am one. - Dillon (Australia).

J'taime. Merci beaucoup. - Kevin (France)

It arrived 2 hours later than I expected and the corner of the box was slightly damaged but other than that it's INCREDIBLE! I can't believe I have my very own TARDIS! - Daryl (China)