Lose Weight

[unsunghero]

As someone who’s tried a lot of legal and illegal stuff, I don’t think any herbal supplement is more powerful than Yohimbe. I know dose is a huge factor and I don’t remember typical dosages, but that should not be sold as a dick pill or for weight loss

Anyone who thinks anxiety isn’t really a thing, should try the Yohimbe challenge: take about 5 or 6 pills at once. You will be so uncomfortable. Racing heart. Mental anxiety and sometimes dread. I was getting palpitations from taking 2 on the way to the gf’s house. The only other time I felt palpitations was coming down from coke, and Yohimbe is legal and commercially sold

Anyway, this dude at 300x the recommended dose and got a fast pass to Seizure World

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=

[unsunghero]

This weekend drove with Pa to a hotel on the California border part of the Colorado river for the most competitive and biggest….I don’t even know the term….”paddle sports” race? They had all these different watercrafts there; I believe the bigger ones are called “outriggers” because I noticed the teams were “outrigger clubs” from various states, complete with cute matching uniforms

And apparently “paddle sports” is a big deal in Hawaii, so there were a lot of Hawaiians who were clearly pro’s. Talking yoked-out Hawaiian dudes with beautiful expensive hand carved paddles and wearing all their pro gear complete with a film crew. Dad and I were talking to one who said he flew in from Hawaii, and I was like “why the hell would anyone come to AZ from Hawaii? Have you seen how it is here?” He laughed and basically said just for the race

We got to take a look around the day before the race when we got there, and I realized kayaks were the minority of crafts on the river, and also the least expensive. There were these huge fuckers that apparently cost as much as a car:

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And I realized that we stood no chance even against these sleek 17”+ whatever-the-fuck-they-are racing crafts. There were more people there from CA than AZ even. I was talking to these middle aged ladies from CA and they casually mentioned how they’re whatever these things are called (I forget, so many diff boat names to remember that day) cost $4,500. And that was starting. The others said theirs were between $5k-8k. So I’m assuming most of the Californians at this thing were rich. And that we were screwed, because those things are fast as fuck

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Continued in next post….

[unsunghero]

Race morning had to be up at 6am to start getting ready, and typical for me in races I was going on almost no sleep (I don’t sleep well at home much less in some hotel). And it turns out, this was not nearly enough layers. Because it was like 30 degrees out that early and I had to get my ass in the water

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Race started at 8am and by then I could strip off the ski jacket I was wearing, and luckily for this race I was able to listen to my own screechy techno music with earbuds rather than Dad’s speaker. This was a huge advantage for me, because I perform much better to my own music than someone else’s or none

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It was confusing, because some guy with a megaphone was calling out each craft type with its own start time, and us poor people in our kayaks were last to go. But even though those other crafts could go many times faster with far less effort, if anyone piloting had to stop or slow down at all, they were at risk of us catching them. Because Dad and I can go for miles at a fast pace with no slowing or stopping

Off we went, me cranking as hard as I could (pacing myself for the 5miles). The only time I remotely slowed down was when I was rounding the giant inflatable star buoy that marked the halfway “turn around and come back” spot, I slapped that fucker as I went around it. Other than that it was about an hour and 20 minutes of non-stop hard rowing, I know because I had to re-start my hour long techno song (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6lMMnOnd0ws)

I was having an absolute blast and passed a few of the (usually gals) slower people even in their fancy $5k water space ships. The only downside was I hadn’t prepped enough water due to everything being frantic getting to the start line in time, and dad was also dehydrated so I tossed him my water bottle 15 seconds before they called our group to start. So I was dehydrated to where my mouth was crusted shut for the second half. And all the River water was so tempting despite looking kinda gross. I thought maybe I could scoop some into my mouth and spit it out and not get sick, but didn’t

Dad is normally faster than me because his yak is much longer and thinner, meant for racing, but he also was going on no sleep and dehydrated. On the last 1/3 mile in I caught a strong second wind and was pulling so hard on the paddles both hands were completely numb. I passed him and tried to motivate him yelling lines from Troy at him:

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Continued in next post…

[unsunghero]

Unfortunately, Dad had no chance of catching me in the last 1/3, so I beat him. And apparently people talking to my dad said they thought I got second place of all kayakers when he told them my number

I believe I should have been first place, not second, with dad as second place, not third. Because no one in a kayak passed us or was remotely close to us. What we think happened is the first place guy was confused like us and false-started with the other craft types. I almost did it myself, seeing all the other boats taking off and frantically yelling to dad “Everyone’s going? Should we go?” A false start would have meant more than a 15 minute lead

So anyway, I got second overall for the kayakers. Didn’t expect to even place, so that was cool

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Next year we want to do the 10 mile version. Which we easily could have done this year dad just was apprehensive due to having thrown out his back a few months before

[unsunghero]

*
Oops posted wrong song but it was a diff hour long mix

[booter]

nice congrats, looks like a fun trip!

[Seducio]

Good effort out there Unsung. Congrats on placing in the race even though you didn't think you would. Seems like some tough competition was there. Glad you and your fam were able to enjoy some time outdoors.

Cheers

[Lune]

Good call not drinking out of the colorado that shit's nasty and toxic in that region.

[unsunghero]

Ty all

Here’s me getting my second place cup. First place got a mug (Fuck you kayaker “Ron” you CHEATER!! 1v1 me in a kayak you FUCKING NOOB!!!)

Third place got a shot glass. At least I could pass off my misery onto dad by asking if he was jealous of my nice average sized glass cup, compared to his tiny widdle micropenis…er…I mean shot glass

[unsunghero]

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