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#1
05-03-2022, 09:32 PM
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I can identify I think where things went wrong. I picked a Christian gal but didn’t realize HOW Christian (Bible study, church and church group). She knew I was Christian but that my attendance was generally bad. Early on in the date I mentioned that I had tried Bible study and just didn’t like it, so didn’t keep going. After this, her entire demeanor changed. She became a lot more wooden, and quite boring For example, I would ask her about her family and get only a short answer with no follow up. I would ask her about work and get “I don’t like talking about work when not at work”. Stuff like that. She wasn’t cold, and still asked me questions and appeared to have some interest in my responses, but definitely seemed to have made her mind up Because she was by far the most athletic girl I had met from online, I was still willing to give it a second chance. But when I mentioned being willing to see her again she replied that she just wasn’t feeling a connection and wished me the best. I replied “no worries, u as well!” And that was that. All it cost me was a cup of coffee and an hour of my time. I don’t feel bad, I don’t think I made any obvious mistakes and while I am Christian, I am not going to lie or exaggerate my level of faith in order to try to appease someone. The only criticism I did have of her, is that me personally, even if I wasn’t feeling the person, I would still be a bit more personable and engaging out of politeness But no bother, already have 3 other conversations going with other gals, 2 on bumble and 1 on match [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] | |||
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#2
05-04-2022, 01:06 AM
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No offence intended unsung, you do you, but the overall experience you describe not only sounds like hell, but it sounds like we've turned relationships and dating into a souless buffet that is at best comparable to a tiktok feed where you just zoom through it until your brain is smoothed to a fine marble. Stop ghosting lol though lol just say thanks for the great evening, but Im just not feeling a connection, I hope you undersatnd and take care! then you can ghost, but send that at least first its like nothing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] | |||
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#3
05-04-2022, 02:39 AM
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The biggest problem for online dating for everyone is that your pictures are everything. The vast majority of people are going to be deciding based almost entirely on pictures. It is a buffet of shallowness, I agree. It also means that people who can take a good picture (or doctor one, I’ve seen a lot of that), are at a huge advantage, regardless of how attractive they actually are The next is that the thousands of choices makes everyone extremely selective especially women. Now this is obviously going to vary based on who you go after. I am on the shallow side so I tend to go after not the absolute prettiest, but close. There are many girls I see on there who have a few flaws, like thin lips or slightly too wide a face, but actually have a decent/healthy/slender (whatever you’re into) body. And I think man, I bet a lot of guys this girl has right swiped has left swiped her back (left means rejected on all apps). I bet if I didn’t, she would be all over me. But I just couldn’t do it, because of my shallowness. BUT, dating apps did not make me this way. I have always put too much value on looks I got off in a tangent but yeah those are the biggest flaws of online. The other girl I’m dating that my fam set me up with hates social media and dating apps and says she has no interest in meeting people that way. A huge potential loss, because she is quite pretty and if she put any time or effort into them she could make a killing. But yeah if you can meet someone organically like through friends or something that’s always going to be ideal. Whatever the connection is, whether it’s friend of a friend or a co-worker or whatever, you get a trial run of their personality before you start dating them | |||
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#4
05-04-2022, 06:16 AM
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Good thing though Unsunghero’s datelife may be, I do feel dating deserves it’s own thread. That said I do want to address this one point:
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On topic: Found a gameboy colour and playing through pokemon red. Won’t save so I don’t overwrite mew. | |||
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#5
05-04-2022, 12:24 PM
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In regards to dating apps, my mom met my stepdad on match, I’ve had multiple relatives and friends meet their husbands and wives on dating apps and have stayed in those relationships. So we can’t paint everyone on them with the same brush. Like I said, your experience is going to largely depend on the type of person you go after That being said I promise to watch that vid posted here as I like the stuff from Ginasp99, I just can’t right this moment due to having a call at work | |||
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#6
04-30-2022, 08:21 PM
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#7
04-30-2022, 08:37 PM
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Aside from dating apps there’s maybe online group meetups that are for singles, but again these are found online through meetup sites Beyond that I dunno. I do know how to set up a decent dating app profile and kind of understand how to navigate the dating app scene through trial and error at this point though. It’s learnable | |||
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#8
04-30-2022, 08:33 PM
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Yeah Raj, I dunno the reason. I’m not the type to over-analyze what I say, but often it happened before almost anyone could have screwed something up
Some would message some version of hi and then ignore my response, which was usually just like a hi back, maybe asking how their week was. I only ever give one response to anyone. I’m never going to say “are you there?” or something desperate like that if they choose to ignore it Other times the conversation would get a bit deeper but still pretty shallow like “what kind of work do you do? Or what do you like to do for fun?” either asked by myself or them. And then no answer after that. Now one could think maybe they didn’t like the job (I’m generally vague about my job to strangers anyway), but your job is also right on your profile, so it’s not like that should be a deal breaking surprise. Maybe they don’t like a hobby of mine being running, or kayaking…? No, what I imagine it is is that they are also communicating with like 4-5 other guys, with more messaging them every day. And with thousands of un-seen profiles in front of them. So they are feeling that if the conversation isn’t absolute magic the entire way through, then bail and try with someone else. Recognizing this trend in others, I try to avoid being too judgemental myself so as to not further it But again, there might be a money or scam angle too, who knows. My bot-sense wasn’t tingling too much though | ||
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#10
05-01-2022, 08:46 AM
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Last night I didn't wind up in the ER and woke up this morning to quadruple post 5x. And I got some wholesome home made chicken on the bone waiting for me with some little tortias. My cats are like stepfordwives and Jibartik is mad about intergalactic selfies. I was stuck in a weird dream with monks singing that I escaped. And then I dreamed I was in a liminal space. The sun is out. My head is clear. I've got fresh water to slake my morning thirst. I got a ton of exercise yesterday and feel recharged to do it again today. My standing desk is operational. The tempature is great. It's a quiet morning. I am emotionally greatful/neutral. My family is doing ok. I can stand, walk, and stretch. I got little wipy shower pads.
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