Grundwald Gunderson: The Legendary Dwarf

[Lexical]

Well, I hate to be that guy, but you also misspelled hear Cat.......

[Thana8088]

Originally Posted by Lexical [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Well, I hate to be that guy, but you also misspelled hear Cat.......

Well tie me to an ant hill and smear my ears with jam....

SUPERFAIL [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Lexical]

Originally Posted by Thana8088 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Well tie me to an ant hill and smear my ears with jam....

Seems a little harsh, but if you insist....

[dankzilla]

Dearest Grundwald,

As future guildmaster of top tier guild <Team Snarfs>, I formally invite you to be a FOUNDING MEMBER of <Team Snarfs>. You may ask, what sort of benefits package do members of <Team Snarfs> receive. That answer is simple, the feeling of pride of having <Team Snarfs> under your name. We at <Team Snarfs> require a minimum Alcohol Tolerance skill of 200, however knowing your Dwarf nature I do not fear that will be a problem. Normally it is against <Team Snarfs> policy to fill out lengthy applications, but we will make a special case for a Cleric of such (short) stature.

1. Do you like dwarves? List 3 reasons why or why not.
No, unless they have Brellian stout.
1) They are always mad about something, usually about the lack of booze.
2) They smell like dirt.
3) Beards creep me out.

2. What do you think are my 5 best qualities and why?
1) Undying love for wearing purple.
2) Your eyes.
3) Appreciative of a good ale
4) I only have to see you twice a month
5) Snarfsgate

3. What do you expect of me as a guild member?
We expect perfect attendance to all pub related events.

4. Do you actually expect me to do any of those things?
Absolutely

5. When you die, and want a resurrection, is it generally in an easy to access location? Don’t lie, I’ll know if you do.
I fully expect you to do corpse runs for any and all members of <Team Snarfs> at all hours of the night.

6. Are you okay about knowing my masturbation habits? Explain your answer.
Yes, guildmembers of <Team Snarfs> are expected to keep the guild updated as to any and all genital activity.

7. Write a short poem about how handsome I am.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Snarfs wants to say,
I think you're a beau.

8. Is your guild chat really interesting enough for me?
No

9. List the character names, levels and equipment of all your guild members.
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

10. Give me one good reason why I’d want to be in your crummy guild anyways.
Snarfs is in it.

11. Would you consider bribing me? If so, how much?
I think certain things could be arranged...

12. Write a short list of your greatest fears and weaknesses.
Fears: Girls. Weaknesses: Cheetos

13. What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

As a founding member of <Team Snarfs> I promise you uninhibited rule over the underlings of the guild, you will be permitted and encouraged to use any and all means necessary to punish those that have done you wrong.

We hope you will consider <Team Snarfs> as your future home.

Sincerely,
-SNARFS SNARF