Why do cable companies always completely suck forever?

[Ciderpress]

Spectrum internet informed me that they would be sending me a FREE new cable modem, which is also mandatory to use beginning at the end of the month. I installed it. It immediately sucks and is riddled with problems that my 10+yr old cable modem did not exhibit, in the exact same house with all the same wires and shit.

They informed me that the purpose of this new modem is to allow me to *continue* to enjoy the same great service I always have!

I live in a rural area without a nearby cell tower, so I depend on the wired cable connection to even be able to use my cell phone to call somebody in an emergency. Why do cable companies absolutely *always* reem you up the ass in every imaginable way? Why did southpark have to make an episode specifically about cable companies getting sexual gratification in the form of rubbing their nipples from their customers' bad experiences? Why is this such a ubiquitous thing??

Good luck troubleshooting it on google, btw. There isn't even a model number on the modem. There's a sticker with a mac address and the word SPECTRUM on it and that's all.

I completely hate everything forever.