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Old 05-20-2018, 12:13 PM
MagpieRockyl MagpieRockyl is offline
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Default i went to a church

This morning I descended in Great Aesthetic upon the local church. Hairs kempt, ass looking good, and a fresh white button down shirt... yes -- i WAS the picture of Jesus in all his gloRy.

Inside the edifice I strode. There I met a crowd of olds. These olds were UnAsthetic. Overweight or even ((OBESE)) and with unkempt hairs and unattractive asses. Distasteful shirts smote my eyes.

I took a prisoner's ration of coffee. the Smell of Old and Unaesthetic people edged in on my the border of my olfactory universe as a rind of mold creeps upon the outer crust of sourdough. I quaffed the coffee. Acrid.

These were nice people. But in a moment i knew them for what they were. Yokels. Dimwits. the Totally Average Mudspawn. No visible abs. Not a suit in sight!!! Where were the impregnable women?

nowhere, nowhere

I left as gallantly as I came. My fashionable boots thundered through the entryway of their Gala and all heads turned to watch my Illuminated form quit their Dim Hovel.

As I mounted my trusty steed, there was one aesthetic couple, probably in their early thirties, dismount their trusty steed and walk toward the confines of that wholly unremarkable commune of jesus folk. The man was big and had big muscles and a dumb but handsome face. And his impregnated woman was impregnated grandly by his seed. her belly was a globe. riding pass I said "hoWDY" and then vanished into the humid spring mist.

What type of Church do I need to go to for the High Class High Aesthetic? Where impregnable non-pregnant women dwell? Do I go to the churches of any variety in high rent areas? or do I go to Unity churches - or mosques - or the Temple

please send help
  #2  
Old 05-20-2018, 12:19 PM
Mblake81 Mblake81 is offline
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who knows what will happen next..
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Old 05-20-2018, 12:33 PM
Nibblewitz Nibblewitz is offline
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Old 05-20-2018, 01:45 PM
Irulan Irulan is offline
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Church goers themselves could do a lot to make themselves more attractive rather than relying on others, like lawyers, and bigots, and the government to do it for them [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
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Old 05-20-2018, 01:54 PM
Mead Mead is offline
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Thoroughly enjoyed the read while working on my aesthetics / body dysmorphia

ty
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Originally Posted by kb2005 View Post
I think OP thought Rants and Flames meant "O gosh darn I'm so angry about this thing! O look, here's a place where I can vent about that!"

But didn't realize that this is more like... P99's 4chan or something.

except instead of random anons its a shark attack of a small clique that posts here all the time. so he's doubly fucked.
  #6  
Old 05-20-2018, 02:30 PM
MagpieRockyl MagpieRockyl is offline
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Originally Posted by jogappa [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
im 10 pounds over my target right now cuz i was calorie loading in hopes of getting over a regenerative goal. i have gotten over it now. but im relaly embarrassed about my appearance and i cant claim visible abs at all. i really got smote. luckily i have to detox from several types of knockout pills and that should kill my appetite.

ill get back to church in probably about a month.
we all fall from Grace from time to time. the line dividing Ugly from Aesthetic crosses every man's heart. -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
  #7  
Old 05-20-2018, 04:16 PM
fadetree fadetree is offline
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It's interesting how often we see our own attitudes and preconceived notions reflected back at us from the world.
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  #8  
Old 05-20-2018, 06:48 PM
mickmoranis mickmoranis is offline
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Originally Posted by MagpieRockyl [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
This morning I descended in Great Aesthetic upon the local church. Hairs kempt, ass looking good, and a fresh white button down shirt... yes -- i WAS the picture of Jesus in all his gloRy.

Inside the edifice I strode. There I met a crowd of olds. These olds were UnAsthetic. Overweight or even ((OBESE)) and with unkempt hairs and unattractive asses. Distasteful shirts smote my eyes.

I took a prisoner's ration of coffee. the Smell of Old and Unaesthetic people edged in on my the border of my olfactory universe as a rind of mold creeps upon the outer crust of sourdough. I quaffed the coffee. Acrid.

These were nice people. But in a moment i knew them for what they were. Yokels. Dimwits. the Totally Average Mudspawn. No visible abs. Not a suit in sight!!! Where were the impregnable women?

nowhere, nowhere

I left as gallantly as I came. My fashionable boots thundered through the entryway of their Gala and all heads turned to watch my Illuminated form quit their Dim Hovel.

As I mounted my trusty steed, there was one aesthetic couple, probably in their early thirties, dismount their trusty steed and walk toward the confines of that wholly unremarkable commune of jesus folk. The man was big and had big muscles and a dumb but handsome face. And his impregnated woman was impregnated grandly by his seed. her belly was a globe. riding pass I said "hoWDY" and then vanished into the humid spring mist.

What type of Church do I need to go to for the High Class High Aesthetic? Where impregnable non-pregnant women dwell? Do I go to the churches of any variety in high rent areas? or do I go to Unity churches - or mosques - or the Temple

please send help
OP are you trying to get with those sweet hot religious women? I think that's what your post is about and I can assure you this is a DOABLE thing for you! I can help!

I think its worth helping you because OP even though you are in part acting upon this will as a predator, looking to get with hot women, I know that you SHOULD and are DESIGNED by god and science to behave this way! and youll only become better when you see the light of the lord even if it is for purposes of being with one of his beautiful children. You will become that healthy member of society the country needs.

The liberal hive mind would have you think that you were a vilan for having sexual desires let alone wanting to mingle with the conservative right. But we will welcome your individuality!

Well let me get to the answer! What you want to do is look for mega churches in your area, you want a big BIG church. The reason is you want a big flock to chose from to maximise your chance of success but also because you want to join a church that has enough people and enough money to throw non worship type get togethers, parties, music, days in the park, outings, etc.

And that right there is your in, youll find a beautiful conservative healthy young woman looking to start a family and is a freak in bed (because lets be honest the left are the librarians now, if it isnt homosexual sex, it isnt allowed. So if you want the real freaks you want the girls that get on their knees and bow their head to give thanks to the lord every night)

Just do a google search, find the largest churches in your area, the more televangalist they look the better. Get in, sign up to help, eyeball every girl you see, youll have your perfect wife in no time.

god bless and welcome to the holy side of life.
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  #9  
Old 05-20-2018, 07:54 PM
tsuchang tsuchang is offline
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My abs are very pronounced. I used to have a six pack but now I have upgraded to a pony keg.
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  #10  
Old 05-20-2018, 09:16 PM
MagpieRockyl MagpieRockyl is offline
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Last two posts high quality.

Mick I have to say you age like a fine scotch my friend absolutelty terrible at first but when you get it u get it
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