Why this server failed; a bigpooppic.

dcapotos · #1 05-09-2012, 09:47 AM

I quit pooping in January or early February - at whatever point the poop could no longer break the rim. Up until 20 minutes ago, I hadn't really thought about the poop, or put any effort towards pushing. After a chat with my eternal asshole, I realized I know exactly why this poop devolved into a cluster fuck of constipation. I will briefly lay out my constipated ass below.

toilet paper - seriously? laxative; buddy, seriously? toilet paper knows nothing about pooping, she knows even less about constipation. The autistic random family member that is stuck in my ass, has infinitely more people and problem solving skills than toilet paper. toilet paper is the perfect example of the fact that people put their need for pooping before their health, their jobs and their kids when constipation started in 1999, and those same people are doing the same thing with my asshole in 2012.

toilet paper doesn't represent the constipation, toilet paper doesn't represent the poops, and toilet paper doesn't represent the plunger. How many times has some aimless toilet paper proclamation sticky post been edited or deleted because toilet paper experienced and empty roll? Seriously, if your roll is empty, you don't keep pooping. You shove your dick in the tube. Then you fap furiously. That fap, and only that fap, can bind this poop together. Replace that toilet paper tube.

diarrhea - Going into this, the runny shit ran out our mouths, talked shit, etc. We came to leak liquid shit, others came to masturbate with toilet paper tubes. I get that people who are not good at constipation are intimidated by the poops that are stuck. I get that the poops that are not good at constipation are conversely the poops that need constipation the most. I get that this sums up 99.9% of diarrhea's core.

Seriously, this leaky asshole is/was/idontplaynow run by a group of watery poop that were banned from P99 for spraying brown stuff and getting sprayed on the wall. Let me repeat that: spraying brown stuff and getting sprayed on the wall. These are the idiots that make poop confessing to spraying it on the wall, then argue for the next 3 months trying to defend themselves by saying there is no proof. These guys are so plugged in to constipation, there is absolutely no connection to the toilet. There is no poop too big. No laxative to be had. No poop undeniable. These people are constipated - they will lie, cheat and steal to have their poop. This is who the constipation opted to favor.

Let me be clear for a moment. There is no difference between spraying brown stuff and getting on the wall and diarrhea. It is the same poop. Why would you treat constipation any differently? If you sell laxatives, you rely on your constipated for income - but unless your constipated also have tiny assholes, you don't model your business plan on their advice. Don't model buttholes on the mouths of people who had to invite 85% of the constipated, just to survive the first 3 months.

Anyway - TL;DR - bottom line, I was full of shit but then I finally pooped and here's a bigpooppic.

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