My life is a bigger disaster than yours

[Asteria]

Originally Posted by JurisDictum [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

no, mead, it is not a matter of prejudice. frightening person.
(not JD, this is a hijacked account, hello pals [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] happy year)

Happy New Year to you too! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Cecily]

Originally Posted by Kaveh [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Please don’t deter the obese from moving. Baby steps my friend, baby steps

Walking absolutely is exercise, anyway. Also good for getting those bowel movements going.

[reznor_]

Drink some fucking water for Christs sake, if you actually want to take a shit. God you people with the teas...drink at least a gallon of water every 24 hours and keep doing your beach walks. I'm beginning to think OP is a poop fetishist, I just wasted 10 minutes reading this thread.

[BlackBellamy]

Once when I was fourteen, I was sitting out on a curb by a local grocery store. I was talking with my best friend at the time. We were probably talking about something topical to the time, like whether the large pharmaceutical manufacturing complex nearby was indeed a Soviet nuclear target (it was), and whether we were in the immediate blast zone (we were not). This was the same spot where four years later Johnny Joe Hess would pull up with his Mercury Cougar and his pile of LSD and some of us were never the same after that, except I digress.

Anyway while Frank and I were sitting there, this old old woman came out of the store and walked over to us. She was a crone. If you could imagine a 900 year old Eastern European woman; half-witch and half-mummy, this was her. She turned to us and extended her finger and screeched out with a heavy accent: "Do not sit on the cold concrete!" then she made a fist and shook it, "Because you get the...hemorrhoids!"

So we looked at each other and were like yeah yeah yeah. Thanks old woman! Why don't you go curse someone else!? She left and soon afterwards so did we.

Forty years later I have hemorrhoids and anal fissures. If only I didn't constrict the blood flow to that area by sitting on cold stuff. This stuff is really inconvenient now at times.

My lesson to you:

ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOUR ASS!!!

[Polycaster]

Originally Posted by BlackBellamy [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Forty years later I have hemorrhoids and anal fissures. If only I didn't constrict the blood flow to that area by sitting on cold stuff. This stuff is really inconvenient now at times.

My lesson to you:

ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF YOUR ASS!!!

I would think the greater lesson would be to listen to the warnings of old crones, as they are virtually always a literary device for the author to impart wisdom.

[Smellybuttface]

I don’t think we’ve heard a timely update yet on OP’s constipation. We wait with bated breath!

[Videri]

Originally Posted by Smellybuttface [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I don’t think we’ve heard a timely update yet on OP’s constipation. We wait with bated breath!

Oo, look at you, using “bated breath” properly instead of the disturbing “baited breath” I all too often see. You’ve got a good smelly butt head on those shoulders!

[BlackBellamy]

Originally Posted by Videri [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Oo, look at you, using “bated breath” properly instead of the disturbing “baited breath” I all too often see. You’ve got a good smelly butt head on those shoulders!

I always use "abated" in an effort to jump-start a conversation about Shakespeare, because if there's one thing that get the ladies nice and wet, it's the bard.

[Asteria]

Originally Posted by reznor_ [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Drink some fucking water for Christs sake, if you actually want to take a shit. God you people with the teas...drink at least a gallon of water every 24 hours and keep doing your beach walks. I'm beginning to think OP is a poop fetishist, I just wasted 10 minutes reading this thread.

Thanks, been much better lately in this way - sorry I wasted your time! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
I'm not a poo fetishist and my original post was not specifically about the #2 issue which the thread may have devolved into... [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Originally Posted by Polycaster [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I would think the greater lesson would be to listen to the warnings of old crones, as they are virtually always a literary device for the author to impart wisdom.

Yes! Never listen to me for I'm a just a youngish crone very lacking in wisdom points.

Originally Posted by Smellybuttface [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I don’t think we’ve heard a timely update yet on OP’s constipation. We wait with bated breath!

I'm better...things are much more regular in that way thankfully. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Darkfuneral]

5 Stars