Starfleet Command Doxxes Planarity

[Grumph]

In an unprecedented move, Starfleet Command has put out a press release this morning revealing the alter-alias of beloved retired Captain James Tiberius Kirk.

His conduct in recent hours on a popular emulated EverQuest mmorpg server called Project 1999 was deemed unbecoming of an officer.

However, rather than facing public backlash from either denying the famous Captain of some pension benefits or besmirching his illustrious record (having boldly gone where no man has gone before) - they decided to simply unmask his current escapades under the pseudonym "Planarity."

When asked what specifically lead to this decision, Starfleet Command referenced the following public statment:

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Of course, those of us who know and love Captain Kirk for his adventures in space might have made the connection just as easily ourselves.

Seeing in Planarity that same winsome never die attitude.

no win scenarios.jpg


One of our crack reporters were able to press for more from Star Command on their way to the translocator room:

"We've indulged this sort of behavior before from Kirk. Frankly, winning against the Klingons is one thing, but abusing fellow Federation Citizens on a free server? I'm happy to let the public decide for themselves."

Captain Kirk of course was given a star of commendation for his performance in the academy on the Kobeyashi Maru training simulation.

He can be seen here explaining his strategy in 1982:

Changing the Conditions of The Test


"He's been pulling the same stunt since he was a little kid"

explained Winona Kirk, the aging mother of Jame Kirk (AKA Planarity) before sharing with us a family photo from when he was 6:

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We sought out the wayward Officer Planarity for comment this morning. Unfortunately we were unable to reach him directly as he was last seen skydiving.

Before jumping out of the plane, one of the attendants overheard him give the following comment:

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Our reporters are on the ground as we speak. Tune in tonight at 5 for an update on this breaking news situation.

[Viscere]

FIRST

[Toryas]

It's sad that at this time of year, you have enough time to spend doing a post which isn't worth reading.

a) TL;DR please and
b) Get some friends.

[MarauderOHHYEAH]

Originally Posted by Toryas [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

It's sad that at this time of year, you have enough time to spend doing a post which isn't worth reading.

a) TL;DR please and
b) Get some friends.

^this... im really glad the ban made the toxicity between all the guilds go away

[Psyborg]

Originally Posted by Toryas [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

It's sad that at this time of year, you have enough time to spend doing a post which isn't worth reading.

a) TL;DR please and
b) Get some friends.

Oh come on you have no sense of humor. It’s okay to laugh at ourselves every once in a while, even if it’s a few days after Christmas. Planarity was a bit unhinged in UN last night and just needs to own it, laugh if odd, and move on.

I look forward to whatever part of the next cycle that lands before the draft, and to some extent I look forward to the draft as well.

[imperiouskitten]

lot of effort for a post i did not read

[tyrant49333]

10/10 would rnf again

[magnetaress]

Young tiburious was quite cute and furryous

[Ripqozko]

Freedom pretty bad at RNF, hope that helps.

[Nexii]

Kirk is chaotic good, whereas Riot is lawful good. It doesn't quite work as a comparison.