Quote:
Originally Posted by JurisDictum
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I might have mild Aspergers... Or I'm just a weirdo because my mom was crazy overprotective and pulled me out of school rather than try to get me to do my homework. See, she was a single mother social worker from a poor background. She didn't have the habits, energy, or ideology to sit down with me and make sure I'm doing my homework. Or punish me if I didn't etc.
Instead, she insisted I had a learning disability. None of the teachers in any of the schools I went to agreed with her. We would have these big meetings where all my teachers, the principal, and some psychologist that tested me would argue with her for hours. I had sit and watch it all.
When the subject came up at home she would launch into long rants about how fucked up the system was and I couldn't possibly be successful because of what they were doing. I would listen to her repeat the story over and over to her various friends when she got home from work. It didn't seem to occur to her she could have just spent the time forcing me to do my homework -- but it wasn't about me.
So by 14 I wasn't in school -- the constant moving made it hard for the truancy board to track me. I played games all day. The only reason I developed any discipline is because I wanted to get good at video games. My mom couldn't protect me from losing in Warcraft III. As ridicules as it sounds -- it got me through college despite no history of high school.
So maybe I was just a little bit socially off for those reasons -- and not because I'm on the spectrum...you guys decide.
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You made a pretty sane post here. I agree with a good mentor you could have developed that discipline earlier. You're definitely not aspegers enough to indicate some kind of psychyiatric medicine. And it sucks you went through that as a kid.
I think doctors are terrible at diagnosing trans ppl and it's awful to think they'd indicate transition to someone who isn't trans, but a very sensitive kid whose just confused because all the male roll models are assholes.
It's an important discussion to have.
I didn't get the treatment I needed because ... Like you I was just the kid in the room while the adults stomped around yelling and blaming everything on me or the system and fighting over who was right. I think it was obvious that I had problems, but no one wanted to ask why I'd just cry and sit in the corner with my stuffed animal. It would have been incredibly tooo easy to just say AUTISM! shut in! Throw me into institutions and psych med me.
It's clear it didn't work. People couldn't think outside of what I should have stereotypically should have been or behaved like. We still can't really diagnose GD easily. My case wasn't obvious because I lived in a horrifically abusive environment where any deviation from the manic whims of my father ment the police and screaming and guns and violence (mostly against my mom).
So who knows? Anyway I made it through thanks to some good mentors and a hospital where I felt safe for the first time ever. Once I got out of there, I was able to at least emotionally cope and get through graduation and into the military out of that mess. It was the only way out presented to me, and my Gender Dysphoria, I'd rather call it body dyspmorphia took a backburner towards survival. Once I started to survive independently, I was faced with all those things I never was able to reconcile or talk about. Like literally praying to god to give me a female body as a kid. That's not normal behavior. It's not deviant either. But by then I should have been free to explore why I was feeling that way. Even had a compassionate adult to talk to. I didn't though.
Thanks to... Guess what. Homophobia and more specifically transphobia.
Yeah I'm a jerk to rub it in people's faces a bit maybe. But hey, I was outed. We all were outed. Now it's a public health issue.
And like I said, it needs to be discussed.
06-23-2018, 11:51 PM
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