50k GIVEAWAY TO ANYONE WHO STILL PLAYS BLUE

[this user was banned]

Originally Posted by Wonkie [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

What's the difference between a necro going afk with lich on and Jeffrey Epstein?

If it's a lv 60 sitting iksar, nothing

[Daelun]

More P99 specific:
What do you call a train that plows through a crowd of people?
Lavittz

More EQ specific:
What's the deal with the "Burning Woods"? When are they going to change it to "Burnt Woods"?

[Lhord99]

How many Wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

“Ytilpus tells you, ‘AFK Wife aggro’”

[Lhord99]

Addressing his naysayers amidst a myriad of sexual misconduct allegations and pending documents connecting him to perjury and other crimes, high profile lawyer, Rudolph Giuliani, leaned into the microphone Monday morning, simply stating:

“Sorry you didn’t get Warder loot.”

[Crede]

How does one become the perfect husband, get to experience all the precious moments of their children, and maintain the quality of their household all while simultaneously earning consistent group xp?

Easy. Roll a wizard.

[Chintofv]

What’s the difference between a toilet and a member of the P99 staff? A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

[Remeygi]

Originally Posted by supermonk [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Tell me a funny EQ joke

No one plays blue anymore

[YendorLootmonkey]

Yendor, Chest, and Myuharin are walking through Lesser Faydark when they find a lamp. Yendor picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms: "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes!"

Yendor immediately blurts out, "I want a billion platinum!!!" POOF... he looks in his inventory and his coin display fields now show 1,000,000,003pp, 54gp, 239sp, and 826cp.

Chest thinks for a bit, then says, "I want to be the richest person in Norrath!" POOF... his inventory screen now shows well over 100 billion platinum, and bags full of tradeable raid loot.

Myuharin thinks even longer about his wish, then says, "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF... his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. Yendor says, "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in Norrath!" POOF... a stunning wood elf beauty dressed in leather wraps herself around his arm.

Chest says, "I want to be good-looking and have 255 charisma, so I can have every girl I want!" POOF... his looks change and the Yendor's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Myuharin says, "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF... now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. Yendor does, and after a while says, "I never want to become sick or injured... I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF... his complexion improves, his hit points now show the infinity symbol, his resists are all maxed, and his back doesn't bother him any more.

Chest says, "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF... he looks younger already, and his muscles get larger. ED is no longer an issue for his youthful, re-energized body.

Myuharin smiles triumphantly and says, "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth continuously until I die." POOF... he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

Yendor is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years!"

Chest smiles and says, "Well, I built charities all over Norrath with a fraction of my wealth, held weekly giveaways to newbies in the EC tunnel, I'm still the richest guy alive, and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

Myuharin walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and proclaims, "GUYS, I THINK I FUCKED UP!!!"

[Tilien]

Inspired from the last joke, and stolen shamelessly from Boondock Saints:


An iksar, an orc and a halfling find a genie lamp in the Desert of Ro. The genie agrees that since there are three of them, they will each get a single wish. The iksar thinks for a moment and says "I wish all my people, all the iksars, are happy and free in Kunark." The genie nods and poof... all the iksars are happy and united in a prosperous Kunark. The orc thinks for a moment and says "I wish all my people were happy and free in Crushbone." and poof... all the orcs in Norrath are happy and prosperous in the booming city of Crushbone.

Then the genie asks the halfling what he wants. The halfling asks "you mean all the orcs are in Crushbone and all the iksars are in Kunark?" the genie nods.

The halfling replies: "I'll have a jumjum juice"

[Fleetwood]

I've been on Blue since 2010 and my highest char is a 42 Ranger...