The Grocer's Escape!

[Kekephee]

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Dumgorf grow up very poor in Oggok with him pet cat Armadillo. He live in da sewer where all da poor ogres live. Every day all da poopies come down into da water around Dumgorf house.



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Dumgorf always look up to da bouncers. Dey walk around so strong with der fancy shields and armors and Dumgorf think, Dumgorf want do dat some day. But der a problem.


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Dumgorf too poor to afford shiny armor and sharp sword or heavy stick for bashing. Dumgorf never gonna be a bouncer if he stay at home in da sewer with Armadillo and da poopies. One day, Dumgorf decide enuff is enuff, and Dumgorf gonna go out and seek him fortune.


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So Dumgorf wave goodbye to him girlfriend Crunga, number two ugly ogre in Oggok, and give her to him best friend Erung, number one ugly, so dey can make each other happy.


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Dumgorf wave goodbye to pet cat Armadillo,


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Dumgorf wave goodbye to da bouncers. Dumgorf say, "when Dumgorf come back, Dumgorf be rich and have biggest sharpest sword in Oggok and get to be one of you guys."


And Dumgorf go.

[Kekephee]

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Dumgorf immediately realize Dumgorf have no idea where Dumgorf going. Dumgorf turn around to come home and give up, but he run into someone at da gate.

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Little blue-skin dwarf stop Dumgorf and ask him where he going. Dumgorf tell him Dumgorf going out to find him fortune. Little blue-skin dwarf say he know someone who help Dumgorf!


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Dumgorf politely request blue-skin dwarf tell Dumgorf name of man who help him, and blue-skin dwarf say ok, me help you find him, you just look at dis pocket watch for a moment.


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Den everything get weird. Dumgorf head go all fuzzy and Dumgorf have to sit down.


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Den Dumgorf sitting down in da grass, but den it different grass, den Dumgorf not know where Dumgorf am, den it get really confusing.

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Der some skeletons, dey chase Dumgorf, and he run away.


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Der a big bridge with more blue-skin dwarfs on it. Dumgorf still running here, but Dumgorf no sure why or where Dumgorf going.


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Dumgorf remember a hole in the wall.


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And den Dumgorf remember a big shiny on a wall, and Dumgorf is in da ground, or is Dumgorf in a city? But der lots of blue-skin dwarfs around, and dat all Dumgorf remember for a while...

[mtb tripper]

nice

[Kekephee]

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Da next thing Dumgorf know, Dumgorf standing in front of a lot of people, and dere one people shouting at Dumgorf. He say, "Dumgorf the Ogre, you stand accused of shamelessly promoting a casino in the East Commons tunnel, an activity that has been strictly outlawed by order of the Master Council and The Great Developer. A tribunal of your superiors has found you guilty of this crime, and you are sentenced to imprisonment in the Ice Bastille."

Dumgorf have no idea what dat mean.


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Dey give Dumgorf a nice orange outfit and dey put him in a very tiny room. Dumgorf wait der until it time to leave. But time to leave never come. Dumgorf sit in that tiny room for a very long time. Dumgorf no sure how long; der no sky or window to outside to see is it day or night.

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Der a little window with metal bars on it, but it do no good for knowing what time it is. After a while, Dumgorf start to get very sad. Dumgorf worry about how long Dumgorf gonna be in dis place. Dumgorf feel like Dumgorf been in der for years. Dumgorf wonder what Crunga and Erung are doing. Dumgorf miss home. Dumgorf cry a lot before he go to sleep sometimes. But more den anything, Dumgorf hungry. Dey no give Dumgorf good food to eat; dey come in when Dumgorf sleeping and dey bring slice of nasty meat dat taste like grass, cup of dirty water, and small loaf of bad bread. Dumgorf no can eat most of da time anyway, because Dumgorf tummy is upset because Dumgorf can no sleep good because der nothing to do but lay in bed all day. Dumgorf not happy.


One day, Dumgorf hear a voice next to him. He find out somebody in another tiny room right next to his. Dumgorf has a friend!

[captnamazing]

nite klub city = winning

[Kekephee]

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Dumgorf talk to him new friend every day. New friend say him name Greengrocer. Dumgorf ask what Greengrocer do, and Greengrocer tell Dumgorf a story.

"I was the greatest and most respected and beloved meat vendor in all of Norrath," Greengrocer say with sad voice. "People came from all around the world to purchase my wares, and I traded with all of them. I had the rarest and choicest cuts of meat in all the lands. Once, I even got my hands on a flank of sea dragon meat. You can imagine, that was not easy. Anyway, I was the best. And I loved what I did, and business was great. I had far more than I needed to provide for my family back in the Vale, so I decided one day to make a little game of it. If people brought me a slice of meat and rolled a die higher than a certain number, I would cook their meat for free. If they lost the roll, I would keep the meat. Most of the time, they won- it wasn't really about obtaining meat for me, so much as it was helping people and having fun. Well... the fun didn't last. The Great Developer issued a decree that all gambling was prohibited. I had no idea what I was doing would be considered gambling. Until it was too late. One day, they came for me. And now my family has no one to provide for them, and..." Dis when Greengrocer start crying. Dumgorf can hear it through da wall. Dis make Dumgorf very sad. Dumgorf wish der was something Dumgorf could do to help Greengrocer. But der nothing. Dey sit in der little rooms for a long time.


Den Dumgorf hear strange sounds in his wall one night (Dumgorf think) while Dumgorf sleep.

[JayN]

pras beta test

[Kekephee]

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Dumgorf wake up and der two little dwarfs from the Rivervan in Dumgorf little room! Dumgorf so happy! After so long, Dumgorf finally have something good to eat! Dumgorf about to yell and try to bash dem for food, but one of dem start talking and Dumgorf recognize him voice. One a des dwarfs is da Greengrocer. Greengrocer say, "Dumgorf, come with us. This is Filbus Furyfoot, Champion of the Vale, Slayer of the Cyclops, Butcher of the six great Dwarven clans, husband to Grumphilda Whoopinstein, and our savior. He's tunneled into our prison to free me. And I told him I wasn't leaving without you."

"Come with us if you want to live, Ogre," Filbus say. He carrying two shiny swords dat glow bright colors. Dumgorf like him armor and him shiny swords. Dumgorf no want to stay in tiny room. Dumgorf do da only thing Dumgorf can do: Dumgorf follow. Little dwarf friends go into da hole in da wall dey made. Dumgorf look in and see a ladder.

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"Come on, Dumgorf," dey say. "Climb down the ladder and follow us to freedom!"

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Dumgorf climb down da ladder. It hard. Dumgorf arms hurt. Dey run through da tunnel for a long time, taking lots of twists and turns. Dey wind up in da sewer.

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Dey cross over da water on a rail and der lots of spiders and bugs.



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After a long time, dey come out a da tunnel into da outside. Da Greengrocer start crying and hugging Filbus. "Thank you," he say, "thank you, my old friend. You don't know what it means to me to feel the wind on my face again. To be out of that room..."

"Let's not start kissing each other yet," Filbus say. He sound a little drunk. "We still have to get past the guards."

[Kekephee]

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Dey find a little corner to hide in and Greengrocer make Filbus stop. "Filbus," Greengrocer says, "I'm sorry to do this, but..."
"I know," Filbus says. "I've been in prison before. I know about the food. I brought you some of your best wares. Your wife picked them out herself. Stop and eat- you'll need your strength. We won't get far if you're malnourished."

Greengrocer take all da little bits of food out of der tubberwares and smell all of dem like dey was Crunga stinky butt. Dumgorf think dat gud idea; dis exactly what Dumgorf gonna do when Dumgorf get home. Greengrocer tell Dumgorf he need to eat, too. He give Dumgorf some nibbles. Dumgorf forget all about Crunga stinky butt; who need Crunga butt when der food like dis in der mouth?? Dumgorf eat and eat and eat and Dumgorf and Greengrocer hug and cry because da food so good. Den it time to go. Dey sneak around some more and everything fine. Den dey turn a corner...

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And der a lot of guards.

[iruinedyourday]

omfg that was amazing