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  #241  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:35 AM
imperiouskitten imperiouskitten is offline
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I think grace is about like, not letting trivialities lead to tragedy and forgiving other human beings in your community -- and the rules for continued membership in the community of cooperative human beings historically included at least to profess that you are capable of kindness, participate in ritual apology for wrongdoing etc -- I think you see where I'm going.

It's also about forgiving the abject barbarism and criminality of people raised outside of the lights of civilization, love, or decency and not allowing the brutality of such creatures, who are not saved and will not be permanent companions because they will burn in Hell for all eternity, to reflect in your own actions vis-a-vis bitterness. I try hard for that every day. It's easy to transfer unsanitary energy from outside into the circle of angels. You're correct, I do struggle with that.

I don't think grace means encouraging people down the wrong track, or sitting eternally silent without a word to help guide your friends toward better behavior or saner ideas. Whether they're unhinged trans gals who need some kind of reality check, or little 5'5" browns who claim to be ethical nazis. No, that's no kind of love at all. In fact it's the absence of love, and your insistence that otherwise must be protested is pretty sad.
Last edited by imperiouskitten; 06-13-2021 at 10:41 AM..
  #242  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:40 AM
Penish Penish is offline
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  #243  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:44 AM
imperiouskitten imperiouskitten is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Well it's hard do tell you what to do but I'd keep living as a female for a while and start therapy on the meanwhile. Maybe you have childhood trauma, repressed homophobia, self shame or another disorder which involves unstable sense of self (BPD, autism) or whatever. Or maybe you're just trans if that's a actually a single thing (sometimes I ask myself that question) and therapy could help you to find that out.
And if you finally can't find an identity after all and considering you've reached a point where you have to take synthetic hormones no matter what, I'd be just practical. Which would be living as what would bring me less issues in daily life: would you experience dysphoria if you detransition? Would you pass as a man? Do you pass as a woman? Would being a feminine man more issues than living as passable/non passable transwoman? Would it be harder to find a partner as a transwoman or as a man who had SRS? Would you have more job opportunities as one way or the other?
But again, that's what I'd do, only you can decide about your life and what to do in a such important decision. Not sure if you idealized transitioning in the past, but if you did don't do the same now with detransitioning since you already had SRS and sadly and IMHO that changes it all.
Maybe you have issues accepting your transness? At the end living living a transitioned person doesn't make you the opposite gender but looking/living as one to alleviate dysphoria. BTW you mentioned you know you'll always be male no matter what. But if you're passable others won't know so maybe asking yourself all those practical questions could help.
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Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
I have had a number of friends who have had similar feelings and questions after SRS. Some of them transitioned older, some in their 20s, none as young as you. One thing seems to be consistent and that is that their lives were filled with reaching one transition goal after another until SRS was over. Then life became routine and they started wondering if they couldn’t have just lived the routine without transitioning. Some detransitioned, but the ones who did eventually transitioned back to female again usually because they were more comfortable that way, or because family was more comfortable with them as female.

I think it matters less how we started this life than how we live it today. If you are more comfortable with yourself presenting as female, then do that. If you are experiencing a little frustration with the decisions that your younger self made, just remember how young you were, how it seemed like the only sensible path, and forgive your younger self. I had to do something like that, and actually went back to a lakeside where I used to sob and ask God to stop me from wanting to be a girl, and spoke to the younger me there at that lake. It was strangely consoling.
I’m hurting with you, and praying for you.
Idk how you get sick of being a girl unless you're ugly tho - it's awesome. Juris just made me crygasm two nights in a row -- he's really coming into his own. maybe why im wound ferally tight rn lol.
Last edited by imperiouskitten; 06-13-2021 at 10:47 AM..
  #244  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:45 AM
Pulgasari Pulgasari is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imperiouskitten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
I think grace is about like, not letting trivialities lead to tragedy and forgiving other human beings in your community -- and the rules for continued membership in the community of cooperative human beings historically included at least to profess that you are capable of kindness, participate in ritual apology for wrongdoing etc -- I think you see where I'm going.

It's also about forgiving the abject barbarism and criminality of people raised outside of the lights of civilization, love, or decency and not allowing the brutality of such creatures, who are not saved and will not be permanent companions because they will burn in Hell for all eternity, to reflect in your own actions vis-a-vis bitterness. I try hard for that every day. It's easy to transfer unsanitary energy from outside into the circle of angels. You're correct, I do struggle with that.

I don't think grace means encouraging people down the wrong track, or sitting eternally silent without a word to help guide your friends toward better behavior or saner ideas. Whether they're unhinged trans gals who need some kind of reality check, or little 5'5" browns who claim to be ethical nazis. No, that's no kind of love at all. In fact it's the absence of love, and your insistence that otherwise must be protested is pretty sad.
Interrupting cows aside, that's good. Having witnessed you and Tex both come back to earth from radicalism - many went there and it was dangerous, it bums me out to see you flensing each other. Your quest was errant but shared.
  #245  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:48 AM
imperiouskitten imperiouskitten is offline
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Originally Posted by Pulgasari [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Interrupting cows aside, that's good. Having witnessed you and Tex both come back to earth from radicalism - many went there and it was dangerous, it bums me out to see you flensing each other. Your quest was errant but shared.
he's full of revulsion and hatred for trans people despite knowing several for many years. He remains radicalized, how ever many crocodile tears and Christ forgiveness panders he does.

You literally are sold on him because he voted for Biden. That might sound as trite as the shit Patriam was throwing at me earlier, but -- zero else has changed about his posting profile. So superficial that it sounds stupid, but true. And exactly as foolish as it sounds.

You are addicted to defending people from social accountability. Same old thing. I'm sorry you still feel so on top of things and smart. I guess that DM about your newfound humility on which we have based this reacquaintance was not particularly deeply felt, was it?
Last edited by imperiouskitten; 06-13-2021 at 10:53 AM..
  #246  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:51 AM
Cecily Cecily is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pulgasari [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Interrupting cows aside, that's good. Having witnessed you and Tex both come back to earth from radicalism - many went there and it was dangerous, it bums me out to see you flensing each other. Your quest was errant but shared.
The quoted passage seems more narcissistic drug-induced psychotic ranting than coming to earth. Do you mean it's improved in comparison? I probably agree. I wanna hear more about grace lol.


Anyways, Patriam has always been nice to me. Not sure what you're talking about, J.


Seek Christ.
  #247  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:54 AM
Pulgasari Pulgasari is offline
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Originally Posted by imperiouskitten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
he's full of revulsion and hatred for trans people despite knowing several for many years. He remains radicalized, how ever many crocodile tears and Christ forgiveness panders he does.

You literally are sold on him because he voted for Biden. That might sound as trite as the shit Patriam was throwing at me earlier, but -- zero else has changed about his posting profile. So superficial that it sounds stupid, but true. And exactly as foolish as it sounds.
I disagree but fine, stay mad if you want. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
  #248  
Old 06-13-2021, 10:55 AM
imperiouskitten imperiouskitten is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
The quoted passage seems more narcissistic drug-induced psychotic ranting than coming to earth. Do you mean it's improved in comparison? I probably agree. I wanna hear more about grace lol.


Anyways, Patriam has always been nice to me. Not sure what you're talking about, J.


Seek Christ.
Patriam is nice to you because you engage in the self-effacing anti-trans rituals he demands before he will treat a trans person like a human being. If you had self-respect he would vibe differently. I am profoundly sorry that you can not feel embarrassment or shame for this.
  #249  
Old 06-13-2021, 11:01 AM
imperiouskitten imperiouskitten is offline
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Originally Posted by Pulgasari [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
I disagree but fine, stay mad if you want. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
dude. cecily literally just came in here and did the thing. squaaad up, who wants to bash some trannies? you guys love me right?

disagree all you want; the proof is in the pudding. hate causes damage. demand of your friends not to be nazis to you and your loved ones at least, you absolute yellow-belly
Last edited by imperiouskitten; 06-13-2021 at 11:03 AM..
  #250  
Old 06-13-2021, 11:06 AM
Cecily Cecily is offline
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Originally Posted by imperiouskitten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
dude. cecily literally just came in here and did the thing. squaaad up, who wants to bash some trannies? you guys love me right?

disagree all you want; the proof is in the pudding. hate causes damage. demand of your friends not to be nazis to you and your loved ones at least, you absolute yellow-belly
Please refrain from using the word tranny. It's Pride Month.
Last edited by Cecily; 06-13-2021 at 11:10 AM..
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