Life doesn't feel the same

[dennardscott86]

I recently lost my son who passed due to a lung disease and I'm trying to find ways to cope. I just cant find a way to calm down inside and I know it wasn't my fault but I feel like I shouldn't have outlive my own son. He was only 5 years old!! He had just started and there was sooo much I was gonna teach him and show him and now he is just gone. Family and friends keep asking me if I'm ok and I smile but really I'm screaming and crying and yelling and I want to hurt someone like I hurt but what would that solve so I say "I'm still here so far" but I don't know how long i'll be here. I don't want to be here but I need to be strong for my wife so I try to continue on like nothing has change but really everything has. I always complained about him running to tell me about the show he is watching DURING the show just to tell me about a scene. I told him "Tell me After it goes to commercial so you don't miss anything".....I'll never hear his voice again.......I'll never hear his voice again

[captain]

Just make another one...

[Sodors Finest Poster]

Not sure if a troll or not.

If not: as a parent myself I cannot begin to fathom the pain you are feeling.

[dennardscott86]

Its not a troll, my son had Interstitial Lung Disease and 'Im just looking for a possible vent since I dont have many friends and I can't stand to talk to my wife about this much. Its easier to do it with people i cant see i guess is what i'm trying to make work.

[nhdjoseywales]

im gonna hug my 5 year old son extra hard today

[India]

I am sooo very sorry for your loss. Losing a child must be the most unfathomable pain ever [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Whirled]

That is truly sad and hope things get better for you. I know words aren't much for empathy and even though I do not know you; we are still human and I hope my pitiful attempt at being neighborly helps you to stay strong & pull forward to a brighter future.

[bdastomper58]

carry it for as long as you can. youre allowed to let it destroy you if you want. most would.

unbelievably sorry for your loss [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[maskedmelon]

I am sorry to hear of you loss OP :c I do not have children, but understand the pain must be immeasurable. I would encourage you to honor his life by striving to improve your own. He'd not like to see you suffer, nor would he wish for your family's shared loss to be compounded by another. Be happy for what you were able to do for him and strive to protect and care for his dreams and loved ones. It is a bright world and he'd be happier to see you embrace it because of him than miss it because of him ^^

[Sorn]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, OP.

I know you want to be strong for your wife, but make sure you take care of yourself, too, okay? If venting to faceless anons helps, you can also call a grief hotline. There are ones set up for people going through your situation.