If RL was an EQ server and it was your first server

[Elfminster]

You wouldn't remember choosing to join the server so it would be like somebody chose for you without asking you first.

You wouldn't choose your race/class/appearance that would be done for you and some people would be born beautiful and some born ugly with no way of switching.

As you travelled around the server you would spot corpses on the floor and hear many tales of players permanently dying which would empower a new idea in your mind; death.

The server would be touted as hardcore mode+ which would mean that no matter how good or bad you played you would still die in a random way no matter what so you would lose everything you worked for so being there would be pointless. There would be no resurrections or corpse runs. Once you died that would be it. At least according to the <atheist> guild that is. The <christian> guild on the other hand would disagree and say that after you die your bodyless 'spirit' goes to GM island where the Lead Developer judges you worthy or unworthy. If you are judged worthy then you go to a new server to play on called heaven and this server doesn't have the death penalty, fuglies or any obnoxious players running amok but if you're judged unworthy you go to a server call hell which has no death penalty and only one zone consisting of a lake of lava which you swim in forever and ever.

You would hear stories of players killing other players which would make you think you are flagged for PvP.

There would be no official developers. No official web site. No official patch notes.

Players would tell you you have freedom of will and choice and that the server is what you make of it.

There would be the <scientist> and <historian> guilds which would create and teach unnofficial server lore to players. These self confessed 'intellectual' players would claim the server invented itself and that if you thought otherwise then it meant you were deluded and 'unscientific' and in need of medication.

There would be the <save the server> guild which would tell you the server is going to crash if you don't start walking instead of getting a port.

Players would be able to be in lots of guilds at the same time not just one so you would see players with hundreds if not thosands of guild tags above their heads.

There would be a huge poverty gap which would get wider as time went on; some players would ding L60 for killing 1 mob while other players wouldn't be able to ding L2 no matter how many mobs they killed. Some players would have have millions of PP for doing very little work while other players would have a few copper for doing a great deal of work.

There would be the <celebrity> guild which a % of players would be automatically born into and these players would be allowed to play by a different set of rules to everybody else. Every player in this guild would have more than everybody else in life (but still np real friends). These players would have 'poor me syndome' and be full of self pity and sob stories which they would spam everybody with using the in-game mailing system.

There would be a <government> guild whch has the motto 'obey or die'. This guild would threaten to PK any player found disobeying it's rules which it would call the official server rules. The <government> guild would promote that idea that disobeying them is sinful/immoral and would threaten players with the <police> guild to enforce their rules. Players would rebel against this guild resulting in zone instability which would be exactly what the <government> guild wanted (reverse psychology).

You wouldn't know if you are flagged for PvP but the threat of being PK'd and going to hell would be a motivation to obey (at least in public, but in private to disobey).

There would be a server wide /shout command reserved for members of said special guilds who would use it to spam products, services, events and to promote anti-player/anti-race/anti-gender/anti-server propaganda (there would be no /ignore command).

There would be 'debates' amongst 'players' on whether Norrath is flat or round.

You would see players standing still silent in public like statues to 'honor' dead strangers because some stranger told them to.

[Encroaching Death]

This is deep

[magnetaress]

Sounds like a pitch for Christian Nationalized Socialism and I love it.

The only way to make this server better is to clone a righteous army of Angelic beings who will right all of the wrongs and keep the sinners in check so that we can get more people into heaven.

[Elfminster]

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Sounds like a pitch for Christian Nationalized Socialism and I love it.

The only way to make this server better is to clone a righteous army of Angelic beings who will right all of the wrongs and keep the sinners in check so that we can get more people into heaven.

<police>

[magnetaress]

Sounds good we need more police ya.

[Gustoo]

Good post proper p99 post like starkind would do

[Homesteaded]

What did he say?

[Raj]

Originally Posted by Homesteaded [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

What did he say?

Something something Im not as unattractive as I think I am and Im in an existential crisis because of Vitamin D deficiency and lack of hard work. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Elfminster]

On this server Rangers would identify as Warriors and Druids would identify as Clerics.

Some players would demand you call them 'they' and 'it' instead of 'he' and 'she'.

The <feminist> guild wouldn't group with male character models.

The <KKK> guild wouldn't group with Erudite character models.

Here are some other guilds found on this EQ server:

<Xenogender>
<Genderfluid>
<Pangender>
<Demigender>
<Trigender>
<Bigender> (<---- they each get to roll twice on group loot)
<Agender>

Collecting certain herbs, plants and mushroom would be banned, penalty would be death by PK.

[Encroaching Death]

Originally Posted by Elfminster [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The <KKK> guild wouldn't group with Erudite character models.

True story: I got banned from Live when I was around 12 years old for calling an Erudite player the "N" word.