Nexii's Erotic Adventures: Save vs Torture

[Rygar]

Originally Posted by Nexii [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I am using these as practice towards writing a real novel. I don't consider myself quite 'there' yet with my writing skill. Novels are much longer than these short stories. This one was like 3400 words whereas a novel tends to be 50k-100k words.

I mean I get it, most of the audience of P99 is video game players (visual) and not avid readers. At the same time it probably isn't a time thing. People here spend 16+ hours socking dragons week in week out. A story this long might take 10-15 minutes to read through. Given all the downtime in EQ I figure it's one of many things one can do to fill it.

I wasn't implying this was stand alone novel, but rather a stand-alone chapter from a novel (seemed similar length).

Also, I think there is truth to who you are presenting your story to. People seem to come here for a quick read or meme and then move on to the next subject. It's like asking someone to read a single story while waiting for the bus... they have the time, but they are more interested in surfing the net or reading headlines or watching a show. Arguing that 'well they have the time' just isn't going to work because they may consider their time best invested elsewhere.

So just saying, your style of erotica may not be best suited here. My guess is most people want you to get to the dirty details, which defeats the purpose of a tantalizing build-up (or makes it more challenging).

The story takes more purpose and length, perhaps, because you are writing about yourself. If you substituted 'Nexii' for a different name and made the character's personality a pure fiction (rather than a reflection of yourself) you may see the need to consolidate some parts?

This is just my feedback of course, maybe some people think it is good as is. As they say, you do you!

[Nexii]

Originally Posted by Rygar [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I wasn't implying this was stand alone novel, but rather a stand-alone chapter from a novel (seemed similar length).

Also, I think there is truth to who you are presenting your story to. People seem to come here for a quick read or meme and then move on to the next subject. It's like asking someone to read a single story while waiting for the bus... they have the time, but they are more interested in surfing the net or reading headlines or watching a show. Arguing that 'well they have the time' just isn't going to work because they may consider their time best invested elsewhere.

So just saying, your style of erotica may not be best suited here. My guess is most people want you to get to the dirty details, which defeats the purpose of a tantalizing build-up (or makes it more challenging).

The story takes more purpose and length, perhaps, because you are writing about yourself. If you substituted 'Nexii' for a different name and made the character's personality a pure fiction (rather than a reflection of yourself) you may see the need to consolidate some parts?

This is just my feedback of course, maybe some people think it is good as is. As they say, you do you!

I've had feedback both ways. When I was doing shorter segments several readers told me they felt too rushed/frantic. And then some say TL;DR with slower pace but less frequent stories. Can't really please everyone.

I mean I won't disagree as far as typical RnF audience. I asked for creation of a roleplay/story forum but the mods never got back on it. IMO it's something the community really lacks. Back on live it was a lot more common. More collaborative stories with multiple writers could be interesting/fun.

[maskedmelon]

i think your writing style is compact enough that you could easily parse this last post into liek 3 or 4 smaller bites. retain all the good stuff, but adopt a less daunting presentation ^^

[Nexii]

Originally Posted by maskedmelon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

i think your writing style is compact enough that you could easily parse this last post into liek 3 or 4 smaller bites. retain all the good stuff, but adopt a less daunting presentation ^^

Gotcha. So same pace just shorter segments? I can probably do this though each will probably end up just being one scene then rather than a few places/times. I keep meaning to just do one all out erotica but there's always new server drama to write about

[America]

I think she saying you need to edit (cut lots). Which is good advice. I myself write by deploying vast amount of text while loaded and culling while on the comedown, or did back before God saw fit to hobble me atleast.

You're a talented writer and your subversiveness is super intriguing. You got the makings of a star. And you're cute irl.

[misterbonkers]

was a little long, but the prose is what makes it fun. needs more dwarf whipping boys who think enduring punishment upon himself means less goes out into the world

just a thought

[Nexii]

Originally Posted by misterbonkers [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

was a little long, but the prose is what makes it fun. needs more dwarf whipping boys who think enduring punishment upon himself means less goes out into the world

just a thought

I didn't completely follow this sentence lol. Any dwarves in Neriak would be slaves..

[America]

Originally Posted by misterbonkers [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

was a little long, but the prose is what makes it fun. needs more dwarf whipping boys who think enduring punishment upon himself means less goes out into the world

just a thought

that's a really adorable thought. he'd be so confused by the infliction of pleasure by his captors. and how would the sharper sensations feel once his piety were blown apart by orgasm?

[Metham]

Enjoyed it very much. Dont worry about the length so much, perfect for med breaks between quads. 3 quads later and im finished [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[maskedmelon]

Originally Posted by Nexii [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Gotcha. So same pace just shorter segments? I can probably do this though each will probably end up just being one scene then rather than a few places/times. I keep meaning to just do one all out erotica but there's always new server drama to write about

yeppers, think the pace and flow are just fine as is ^^ your style is rich, compact and fun. reminds me of david eddings or r.a. salvatore if you read any fantasy. I've not read much other fiction, so don't have anything else to equate it to. i liek it though ^^