A dark truth.

[magnetaress]

Anyway I developed an intense resistance to drug induced mania, thats how I tolerated really high doses of buproprion in 2018-19. When I went through my Irulan, Clevergirl phase here.

I'm really self aware and sensitive to those effects. Like I know when my Seritonen is edging towards that really awful childhood moment of Lithium poisoning.

[magnetaress]

I know I talked a ton of shit about the wellbutrin, buproprion, but I was on a furious mission to get fit and was preparing for war. So I focused all that insane mania into fixing myself and cleaning house, running, and juicing up my glutes and squats. It was unsustainable though, once I hit my goals I ended up right back in the ANXIETY trap. Pretty much experienced what was quoted with that derealization, complete psychotic break when I had to chose to go through with my plans.

Ended up in pure animalistic survival mode.

[Cecily]

Yep... I'm so fucking thrilled to be headed towards psych nursing. Bad feeling about pushing this shit on people. Antipsychotic side effects are scary AF and I cannot believe they give that shit to human beings.

[imperiouskitten]

i still like lexapro tho ! lifesaver and i never even did a big dose.

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by Cecily [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Yep... I'm so fucking thrilled to be headed towards psych nursing. Bad feeling about pushing this shit on people. Antipsychotic side effects are scary AF and I cannot believe they give that shit to human beings.

The few really kind and wise humans who cared for me, even during my last horrific stay at the ward, got me to stop trying to kill myself and start facing all this from a more holistic and less drug centric viewpoint.

The Seroquel let me sleep some my first few months out, and that isolation gave me time to think. I'm one of the really lucky ones though and I have the power to recognize and stop the self harm.

IF I can talk about it and find ways to calm down without being fighty or "upset".

Having really cool headed peeps around who listen and understand is the best medicine. Take heart in that at least. I hope.

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by imperiouskitten [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

i still like lexapro tho ! lifesaver and i never even did a big dose.

At low doses and not just relying on the drug to feel good this stuff can help. That's why it's effective at getting people moving. Out of despair.

In severe, acute, extreme, exceptional cases like mine. Reavers happen.

That's were the joke that

G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate or "Pax" (Latin for "Peace") was a chemical compound added to the air processors in order to pacify the populace, by the Union of Allied Planets. An Alliance research team on Miranda discovered that the Pax was effective with 99.9% of people.

Comes in.

I really believe in this case I'm in that 0.01% bracket.

I was on paxil, imipramine.

Sertraline. I think that's Prozac, just I've been on a few of each class.

Because I self harm and isolate they try to force me back out with antidepressants.

Buspar and Buproprion are specifically indicated for anxiety and worked the best. Buspar in combo with a very light antidepressant.

But they are unsustainable. They build up on me and eventually feedback into mania, and in the case of Buspar really weird side effects.

[magnetaress]

The other way psychiatry fails in many jurisdictions is because of overpopulation and understaffing. In patient psychiatry tends to scare people away. It doesn't provide people a safe place to go. And if they do go they are often just baby sat and offered no real alternatives to the drugs. No yoga. No art therapy. No teaching people how to journal. The only thing that the VA had going for it was good church service, but even that got canceled do to covid.

I stayed out of the hospital this last month after being deeply triggered in part because the hospital was not a safe place to go.

That put myself and everyone else around me at insane risk. Last month could have ended really poorly under slightly different circumstances.

Thems are the facts.

[Bardp1999]

Didn't read but reeks of a cry for help. Get well soon princess

[imperiouskitten]

called u princess he thirstin

[magnetaress]

/firmed.

Man, America can't even feed its people. Shit is wack.