i went to a church

[MagpieRockyl]

This morning I descended in Great Aesthetic upon the local church. Hairs kempt, ass looking good, and a fresh white button down shirt... yes -- i WAS the picture of Jesus in all his gloRy.

Inside the edifice I strode. There I met a crowd of olds. These olds were UnAsthetic. Overweight or even ((OBESE)) and with unkempt hairs and unattractive asses. Distasteful shirts smote my eyes.

I took a prisoner's ration of coffee. the Smell of Old and Unaesthetic people edged in on my the border of my olfactory universe as a rind of mold creeps upon the outer crust of sourdough. I quaffed the coffee. Acrid.

These were nice people. But in a moment i knew them for what they were. Yokels. Dimwits. the Totally Average Mudspawn. No visible abs. Not a suit in sight!!! Where were the impregnable women?

nowhere, nowhere

I left as gallantly as I came. My fashionable boots thundered through the entryway of their Gala and all heads turned to watch my Illuminated form quit their Dim Hovel.

As I mounted my trusty steed, there was one aesthetic couple, probably in their early thirties, dismount their trusty steed and walk toward the confines of that wholly unremarkable commune of jesus folk. The man was big and had big muscles and a dumb but handsome face. And his impregnated woman was impregnated grandly by his seed. her belly was a globe. riding pass I said "hoWDY" and then vanished into the humid spring mist.

What type of Church do I need to go to for the High Class High Aesthetic? Where impregnable non-pregnant women dwell? Do I go to the churches of any variety in high rent areas? or do I go to Unity churches - or mosques - or the Temple

please send help