WTS Atheist Survival kit

[Gugg]

Latest mind-blowing additions to the Atheist Survival Kit:

Time capsule
The Atheist Rule Book Collection (Volumes 1 to 36950)
An Extra Large Tin of Dehydrated Water
Snake Oil
Red Herring
Lame Duck
Smart Wrist Watch (2 hour battery life)
A single use plastic bottle
An oil slick
AIDS

In other news, NASA to send Atheist Survival Kit into space in the hope of making a good impression with alien life forms (which may or may not be out there and may or may not be hostile).

[Gugg]

Want to collect rain water but don't have a permit?

Don't worry, be happy because all kits now come with an official permit to collect rain water legally.

Now you can be even safer AND more legal with the Atheist Survival Kit.

Please note: permit does not allow rain collection on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

[Gugg]

BREAKING NEWS.

I'm using the record profits from the sales of my Atheist Survival Kit to run for office.

So I'm gonna be your GOD whether you like it or not!

I've written a list of things I need from you. I'm gonna need a chauffer driven limo, helicopter, superyacht, meals, laundry, house, heating, hot water, internet, furniture, gasoline, clothes, golf clubs and anything else I think up.

Remember to wave at me and smile when I drive past giving you the middle finger x 2 in my high speed 30 car convoy with big flashing lights.

You're welcome.

[Gugg]

Regarding me running for office, I'm gonna skip the whole voting bit and instead just pay the mass media loads of cash to report that everybody voted for me.

Why do it for real when you can fake it? It worked for NASA. It's the Atheist Way!

I'll be sure to send the pope, the queen, and ISIS your love when I'm "elected" your daddy.

[Gugg]

Obviously wit and satire is lost on these forums...I thought it was rants and flames...not WebMD.com.