Got up to play EQ today.

[Trexller]

well, I have now assigned you homework

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[magnetaress]

This dude. Is liek a black more chilled out me lol.



except i hate kids lol

[Pulgasari]

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

U should have triggere warning this

--- Another trigger warning --- [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

 

I'm way beyond del toro. U know what is fucked up ... this is kinda cultural appropriation by LG... but u know what maybe she is feelin that death echo too. Maybe she's one of my deth echos. Lilith be grabbin for ya..

I have had waking nightmares dreams where I'm on the ground and someone is screaming 'hard' as in "push hard" and they are playing vintage music to see if my ECG responds (paramedics will sometimes load up a song on a phone to try and get ppls brains stimulated) except my reality is so fucked up IDK If I died on the floor in SLC due to a knife wound or died in the VA hospital psychward due to dehydration, or managed to kill myself in the future and I've only caught up to that in snippets.

I don't think LG did a super fuckin gr8 job at it butt she tried with this one.

The nature of life is suffering. There is no good that comes from 'life'. It is a penance. Stasis is best. Wrap urself up in a warm blanket with some wine and meds and sleep it off. ----

Also check this out.

"Borderline Personality Disorder is the most painful". That shit right there ... it is fucking terrible when it's accute. And "mindfulness and meditation" will not control it... the only thing you can do is avoid getting into a crisis state. And I have zero control over my life, and will never have, because I'm an accute case of very dangerous crazy and the moral thing to do is chill tf out in a dark quiet place under a weighted blanket.



This dude blows some sunshine up pplz asses because he doesn't want them to give up and wants their business, butt yes it can go into "remission". It never gets better.

Most psychologists and shrinks don't want to have anything to do with someone with BPD and will hang up if u tell them u got it. --- when i start to self harm its too late, I need a pill and then a trip to the psychward to probably get some shots ---



^i have like 30 minute incriments when I can even behave that well

butt ya I think I def have a lot of BPD traits, especially the psycho anger and self harm.

I tried several... like Vilazadone made my symptoms very acute and unmanageable probably indirectly lead to the most recent 911 ---- GUY was smart for proscribing it off the checklist for 'emotional constriction might help', bUtT I def have some serious trauma and shit and PTSD and my amgdyla is super fckn small. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Like I can just break and have a psychotic episode without warning or any 'feelings or thoughts' ... like i can be standing there in a heightened emotional state and 'heightened emotional state' is all the warning i get... i don't think about it it just happens. Then I need to go to the ER to get my head checked out and a catscan and not to tell them I was playing football because A. that is a lie. B. i'm prob needin shots

it fuckin sucks my life is 100% disrupted

thx for the support guys i know this isn't the "right foruam for it butt" i feel comfortable shit posting about it here.



In otherwords start diagnosing ppl correctly (with PTSD and Anxiety) and stop proscribing shit that will make someone suicidal/dangerously unstable go completely apeshit lol.

Borderline people sound annoying. I don't think that's you.

[magnetaress]

idk tho i feel like pushing for haloperidol or back to quetiapine

i kinda miss how i felt on quetiapine maybe i should have just upped the dosage A Lot back then

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by Pulgasari [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Borderline people sound annoying. I don't think that's you.

so give me a diagnosis dr

[Trexller]

they say that life doesn't come with an instruction manual.

I beg to differ.

I believe that your emotions are your instructions on how to live your life. Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong, if you're being treated bad, or good.

If you feel depressed, anxious, or just plain ol' bad, then you are subjecting yourself to unfavorable circumstances.

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice. If in your heart you are a black trans jewish nazi, then that is what you have to be.

If in your heart you are a philanthropic Christian family man, then that is what you have to be, you do not have a choice.

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

so give me a diagnosis dr

you can diagnose yourself by asking into the depths of your soul, "What do I really want?" and then actually working toward what you truly desire.

Happiness is the freedom to pursue happiness, there is nothing more too it, everyone just over-complicates it.

That's how we solve the majority of mental health issues.

Big Pharma won't tell you this, because they profit from literally everyone who feels bad.

[booter]

Originally Posted by Trexller [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong

lol that explains a lot [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Trexller]

Originally Posted by Trexller [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice.

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by Trexller [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

they say that life doesn't come with an instruction manual.

I beg to differ.

I believe that your emotions are your instructions on how to live your life. Your emotions will tell you if you are right, or wrong, if you're being treated bad, or good.

If you feel depressed, anxious, or just plain ol' bad, then you are subjecting yourself to unfavorable circumstances.

Whatever you are, that is what you have to be. You do not have a choice. If in your heart you are a black trans jewish nazi, then that is what you have to be.

If in your heart you are a philanthropic Christian family man, then that is what you have to be, you do not have a choice.



you can diagnose yourself by asking into the depths of your soul, "What do I really want?" and then actually working toward what you truly desire.

Happiness is the freedom to pursue happiness, there is nothing more too it, everyone just over-complicates it.

That's how we solve the majority of mental health issues.

Big Pharma won't tell you this, because they profit from literally everyone who feels bad.

my emotions tell me to do very bad things to myself [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

When I open that box of "who are you really" it's a nightmare. I don't believe G-d cursed me, butt I am definitely challenged very heavily by Satan even tho I DO A LOT OF STUFF to stay away from him/that and close my door on the demons. I believe I have been relatively successful in this regard. I do get 'emotionally' tired sometimes tho. I guess physically tired too, butt not to the point of total collapse..

I feel like G-d kinda helps tho prepare u for this bullshit if u have to live with it.

[Trexller]

Originally Posted by magnetaress [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

my emotions tell me to do very bad things to myself [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

no they don't, you need to look deeper.

when you get feelings of self harm you are responding to your own internal cycle of frustrations

simply put, you feel bad, so you try to feel better, and when you still feel bad, you try to feel better, so on and so on caught in an endless loop, it feels like no matter what you try, you are failing, then eventually you throw your hands up in the air and say, "Fuck this ill just end it"

you gotta break that cycle and end that loop. to do this you will need to find what you really want. some of us have buried our true desires so deep within our psyche that we no longer have any idea what we want, and would not recognize it if we saw it.

dig deep and make it hurt, because if it doesn't hurt then you aren't actually doing anything. Yeah, you hurt now but that's different, its a result of wallowing in a pit of despair.

this is counterintuitive, but to dig yourself out of a pit of despair, you have to dig it deeper. you have to go wayyy down until the hurt is no longer just despair but a recognition of what you are living without.

then you can understand what you need to feel good, then you can recognize what it is that you do not want and remove it

gotta figuratively get off your ass and work, then you can physically get off your ass and make something good.

many people are alive, but are not living.

if you aren't gonna die, then you have to live. you survived soldier training, you will survive this.