The Chronicles of Smarmia: ***OFFICIAL***-S.o.R.P. YT Tracking

[maskedmelon]

In the interest if full and fair disclosure due the good people of the Off Topic community, it's affiliates and all other entities subservient to the illustrious Society of Retarded Posters (henceforth S.o.R.P.) please find below a complete and detailed accounting of all S.o.R.P.

May the ensuing annals serve not only to immortalize the good works of S.o.R.P., but may it also elevate in proper esteem the magnanimity of our fine organization. May too the righteous zeal of our membership burn with such ferocity that the long shadow of adversity is rent from its dark habitat and utterly smitten upon the placid sea of in and drudgery.

So without further ado, I give you

The Chronicles of Smarmia: ***OFFICIAL***-S.o.R.P. YT Tracking

[maskedmelon]

Recap:

Originally Posted by Pokesan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

You want beef homie? You're speaking to a high ranking member of the SoRP - I suggest you show the proper respect.

Your regionalism has no place in modern discourse and only serves to divide voters against voters - the true enemy is elsewhere. I suggest you hold your tongue and read a fucking book you ostrich looking bitch

[maskedmelon]

Recap:

Originally Posted by Big_Japan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Step the fuck back motherfucker. Who do you think you're talking to like that?

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Your ill-advised attempt at besmirching our Lord Treasurer doesn't even make sense, and I suspect you may be gay in real life as well.

[Filthy_Pagan]

This thread is going to be so fucking goog

[Pokesan]

upboat [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Filthy_Pagan]

Originally Posted by Madbad [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

Originally Posted by Filthy_Pagan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

That's all you got?

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Originally Posted by Madbad [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

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Originally Posted by Madbad [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

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Originally Posted by Filthy_Pagan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
Confirmed mad

Dat propaganda brainwashing is kicking in and making you get defensive and irrelevant

Shameless self recognition

[Spyder73]

Pras SoRP

[maskedmelon]

Such a warm reception is to be expected from the fine people of our noble Society. Many thanks for your contributions comrades!

On behalf of the Society of Retarded Posters and the good people of Off Topic, its affiliates and other subservient entities, for unparalleled contribution with his prior implementation of the Society of Retarded Posters Official FKP Tracking system, the foundation of our YT tracking thread, I extend profound gratitude lace with the highest of accolades to our esteemed Treasury Secretary.

Thank you fine sir. You are an inspiration to us all.

[Big_Japan]

An extremely high-quality thread with unlimited potential. Enjoy these upboats.

[Big_Japan]

Originally Posted by maskedmelon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Too long has the Ivory Throne of Luna's Sea sat cold and vacant, the warmth of living flesh and seething flame of power all but forgotten to her empty sear and high back. Too long have our people suffered leaderless in the fickle shadows of uncertainty and perverse liberties, amok the ways that are right and good. For shame! Too long in the black crevices of decorum and protocol have wrongdoers schemed in dark ambition!*

TOO LONG have the wicked wrought ruin upon the fields of our people, lost and leaderless beneath the dark pall of abandonment.

Too long have our people endured no rule.

Too long.


Your bold claim comes as a breath of fresh air in the growing stench of foul things. Our esteemed Society, found of ambition and virtuous intent sought to right the wrongs, the degeneracy and stagnation in mortal combat with good works. Devoid explicit leadership, in collaborative spirit we have won gains, great and small and all manners between.

Let not our success in the shifting face of adversity occlude *our profound longing for consolidated authority. Your claim is sorely desired.

As Adjudicator of Indecision and Orator of Superfluous Nothings and Chronicler and Archivist of our Great Society of Retarded Posters, and Prophet of Naught, it is incumbent upon me to query an y such claimant on matters of law and lore and faith, such that fraudulent claims might be known to all who lay eyes upon them and that the unholy wrath might befall he who dares make mockery of our Eminence in Absence, Supreme Leader & Caliph.

Tell us. Pray do not disappoint.

Originally Posted by captnamazing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I make great nod to your Query, maskedmelon, with whom I have danced upon the tips of waves with flaming word.

The Truth became when I posted the thread: sorp = sheep. This post boosted my Retardation to great levels, unknown formerly to myself. The blinders, shredded from my sight, lifted my spirit up into the Great Halls where gods roam. And there I sat, face to face, with the Retarded God.

"God," Said I, "where can it be, this land of Intelligent Poster?"
(for in my Lunacy, yet I craved a Board of Order & Wisdom without Petulance)
"Over the Mountains of the Firegiant,
Down the Valley of Succ Me,
Post, boldly Post," the God replied
"if you seek for retardation."

And with his final word a duck quacked and smote me as with wet clay upon my tummy region. I returned to my body and had Great Vision and became recognized by all present as the Caliph and Great Mystic of our Ancient and Venerable Order. Also I am the Lord of Tummy.

But I have cast aside the title of Supreme Dictator, until the time comes, when we must face the One Enemy. Only then will I reforge the Title and unite all Posters under the Flags of Retardation to do great battle with the Dark Lord of Witless & Serious Posters, Chest Rockwell.

I fall to my knees in worship of these two posts: perhaps the most talented Retarded posters of all time are at the height of their power on this beautiful Holiday eve, their keyboard fingers infused with the power of the Mighty One. Though I oft dreamt myself incapable of being ruled, an untameable stallion, I cannot claim anything but having been shaken to my very foundation by these revelations, bestowed unto our Great Mystic & Yogic Caliph by the Retarded God.

Is this what it feels like to live in the time of a Prophet?

I retain the title of Chief Scholar of inferior religious texts no longer. Today I renounce all worldly pursuits and bow to the revelations of the Retarded God as revealed by His Prophet, Filbus Furryfoot, level 60 Warlord, Wielder of the Blind Insult and Lord of the Tummy.

If any man have an ear, let him hear:

He that leadeth into Retardation shall go into Retardation: he that flameth with the flame must be flamed with the flame. Here is the Patience and Faith of the Retards.