Breakfast I

[skarlorn]

The map was drawn by Pancho Fourtwenty, Filbus and Yolas illegitimate child. I actually cut a paragraph of text discussing Pancho's horrible map making skills. He got the job only because of Filbus's influence with the Leatherfoot. His son's incompetence and lack of proper education are a constant source of sorrow of Filbus, who lamented in the unedited Breakfast 1 that he had married the dwarf Grumphilda and that their union did not yield any "fermented cum Babies" was the exact word choice.

[fadetree]

Hmm I detect a competition.

[Lulz~Sect]

L2navigat chump 😏

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[Lulz~Sect]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

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😬

[Raavak]

Originally Posted by skarlorn [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I actually cut a paragraph of text discussing Pancho's horrible map making skills.

I'm thinking his Sense Heading skill is about nil as well.

[skarlorn]

Originally Posted by Lulz~Sect [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

L2navigat chump 😏

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dude NOT classiq OMG

also pancho fourtwenty drew that map late at night after a big day and a big bowl of heavy indica ok so cut him a little slack omg

[Videri]

Originally Posted by Lhancelot [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Is Hobbithole his butt or mouth?

LOL

[skarlorn]

Filbus did not wake up in the cool nook of the Thicket where he lived. He found himself supine and bleeding on a coarse, pale yellow sand.

"Yola?" Filbus said.

He had probably taken a little over 1k damage from the gnomish explosives and was hurt badly. He had forgotten his armor and turban in the bank, so he was just wearing a nice casual wool vest with dragonpearl eye buttons and his finest pair of corduroy pants. He needed to find Yola.

What he found under the ruined wall was not Yola. Suffice to say, it was Sadness.

He needed to find his armor. He needed to get his WARRIOR EPIC out of the bank. Then, it would be time to kill whoever did this.

Filbus Furyfoot left the ruins and journeyed south. There were craggy rocks and long corridors of pale sand that he had to traverse. As he traveled he tried to recall Yola's face on the blood moon seed-sowing party where he had met her. He discovered he could not conjure images in his mind anymore. Instead, all he saw was a golden handwriting that looked like this...

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It was not long before he met a group of Erudites.

"Ah," Filbus thought, "I will fetch a ride with these Erudite wizards and go to the Faydark where I can claim my subpar velious raid armor and warrior epics."

Unfortunately, the Erudites were not wizards. They were nomads. Nomads riding on the back of a HUGE earth elemental with four rubber wheels and a glass screen. They were also carrying Kalashnikov's, but Filbus could not understand that.

Yes, Filbus was in the Middle East.

He took a breath and put up his fists in his best Fool's Gold Fu stance. He would not let these PKers take him out just like that!

And the jeep with 4 Erudites bore down on him in wrath and Filbus realized all too late that he had expected dervs but gotten High Priest and Mages. Those AK-47s they held were huge DD bolt firing wands and the jeep elemental took out 10% of his remaining hp in a single go. The Erudites were screaming now.

Filbus roared into a berzerker rage and but before he could die to the jeep elemental's mighty wheels, a squadron of arrows smote three of the Erudites. Then a lightning blast took out the jeep elemental and the lone survivor.

Human rangers and druids! Filbus had been saved!

The guild of Humans approached the halfling on their Hummer Elementals. When they arrived, Filbus demanded, "You must take me to the bank so I may get my weapons and armor and find out who killed my Yola in a sabotage bombing."

"Saboteurs?" asked one of the Human Druids. He wore a cool set of black chitin shell glasses and held a hollow round staff with a scope on it. "Oh, you must be talking about Les Saboteurs.. they are French Renegades from 1795 fighting against all forms of Monarchy in Norrath. They like to plant c4-explosives in the homes of lordly halflings and blow them up during their breakfast."

Filbus nodded wisely. "So you're telling me that wood elves did this?"

"yes exactly" confided the United States Marine with the bazooka.

"I'll need you to take me to their zone and sneak me into the bank," said Filbus.

"Of course," the Human Druid named Wieed began, "but first you will need to bring me 10 [erudite turbans.]"

Filbus agreed to the deal and then had his second breakfast at 9:00 AM sharp. He feasted on MREs and fizzy sugar crystals. He tried to think of Yola but instead all he saw were the maddening scribbles of golden light. He closed his mind to that and equipped his M2 Browning .50 Caliber Machine Gun in one hand.

It was going to be a good day.

[hyejin]

i read that 1

[Lhancelot]

Originally Posted by maskedmelon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

he's just frustrated. he's a warrior, you know, and one of zek at that.

This is a falsehood Filbus wishes was truth.

Sadly when Filbus was formed, his creator left him as agnostic. I think his internal frustrations sprout from this very fact.

Filbus is constantly acting out his eternal rage on enemies and friends alike, a rage that is created from the frustration of never being able to be what he wants to be, a true warrior of the one and only God of War, Rallos Zek himself.

Imagine slaying countless foes, all for nothing but oneself and other primal creatures desires while those of Rallos Zek slay for the praise and recognition of the one and only Rallos Zek?

Such is The pain of Filbus.