The Chronicles of Smarmia: ***OFFICIAL***-S.o.R.P. YT Tracking

[maskedmelon]

I am pleased we have found agreement but for the cryptic passages uncovered by our honorable Official Flummoxer & Sufferer of Perpetual Collywobbles, Forward Vanguard Shock Trooper, Head Fondler of Spiritual Manuscripts, Keeper of the Tome of the Retarded God.

I agree with the interpretation on heresy. To my knowledge, Infidel Kekephee does not stand accused of heresy. To the contrary, he has only demonstrated exemplary retardation such that should be embraced by our fine order less we embrace the ruinous vice of hypocrisy. Indeed our own Filbus, He Who Has Seen the Retarded God would not be a part of our fine Society had we held to such rigid interpretations.

Let us embrace the one undieing principle of illustrious Society and of our Lord, the Retarded God I deed and thought: principle of divinely inspire retardation. There is no denying Kekephee has been touched by retardation, by our Retarded God.

[Filthy_Pagan]

Grand Moff Shogun of the People's Imperial Army, Adjudicator of Indecision & Orator of Superfluous Nothings, Chronicler & Archivist, Society of Retarded Posters,

Perhaps I was hasty in my rigid interpretation of scripture. You are correct in saying Kekephee isn't guilty of heresy, though I believe it would be prudent to first -for safety's sake- indoctrinate him into the Society of Retarded Posters. The Retarded God possesses retard strength that knows no bounds. It is said that he is stronger than a million legions of chimpanzees with downs syndrome and his anger is not to be invoked lightly.


I suggest we send Kekephee on a suitable quest to prove his loyalty and should he succeed, welcome him to the order. I shall leave the floor to the thoughts of our brothers and sisters on this matter and shall adhere to whatever our blessed Order decides. Be wary though.. It is said that those of Bregan D'Aerth are of a different brand of retardation. A newer, perverse retardation than the one that caresses our lobes.

[maskedmelon]

Forgive me honorable Official Flummoxer & Perpetual Sufferer of Collywobbles, Forward Vanguard Shock Trooper, Head fondler of Spiritual Manuscripts, Keeper of the Tome of the Retarded God, Department of Trolling, Society of Retarded Posters, I grow weary of our deliberations. And must retire for a spell. You speak from the heart and your resolve and fervor are admirable. Let us also hear form our Dear Pope before settling a resolution.

Also, I have been remiss of proper manners in both acknowledgement and demonstrated gratitude due our esteemed Treasury Secretary in my contribution to this discussion. Forgive me Dear Sir, with the end of this two-thousand-and-fifteenth year of our Lord nigh my mind has been rampant with matters varied and mundane beyond the pixelverse. You do me great honor in recognition and I am humbled by your generous words. I am but a servant of the people.

I am in your debt and humbly accept this (1) Forum Kill Point.

[Pokesan]

HIGH PRIORITY SORP ALERT

Let us table this discussion for the moment - a temporary, possibly to become permanent, lesser equivalent of a Forum Kill Point must be created - Due to the volatile nature of this land, many retarded posts are occurring. Please alert the authors of such posts, in no uncertain terms that they have received a 'Retarded Poster Award'. All members in good standing arehereby authorized to issue this recognition under their own power and encouraged to do so with great prejudice. Once the current crisis has passed, we may return to procedural discussions.

Now is the Time for Flames. May Our Retarded God Be with Us!

[captnamazing]

Behold the Yellowtexting of Seltius...

Originally Posted by Maner [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

should ask the guides to run an ip check then. But nothing will convince you when you think you are right, i mean, you are still in BDA thinking they matter...

I wonder how common the names bill and smith are in the united states, not to mention how many last names start with S. i bet you are going to vote for hillary too, lol

[Big_Japan]

Originally Posted by captnamazing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Thou deignest to bequeath unto the heathen Infidel 1 whole and unspoiled FKP?

Hath thou smoked the herb of halflings, Grand Moff Shogun of the People's Imperial Army, Adjudicator of Indecision & Orator of Superfluous Nothings, our Chronicler & Archivist?

Thy words hath smote my chest and I fear my heart hath broken to consider rewarding 1 WHOLE AND UNSPOILED FKP to an untitled infidel.

Indeed, my heart now reels and along the greater part of it there lies a vast crack not unlike the Liberty Bell after Swish sat on it, before his expulsion from the Faire Land of America.

I do NOT second this motion!

Originally Posted by Spyder73 [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Kekephee the Unwashed shall not receive FKP until he has burned away his sins in the Holy Flame of Purity that shall be flatulized from the rear end of the Retarded God. I think there is hope for Kekephee, so I shall hold the Torch of Retardation myself, the very one that shall ignite thine fart of our God and set ablaze the world of the non-belibieber, ushering in a New Age.

Originally Posted by Pokesan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The question of Kekephee, an outsider to our Society, being awarded FKP, requires more discussion before a ruling can be issued.

As a Retard, it is my belief that we must spread our Faith in words and ACTION, to bring the spirit of Truth to as many individuals as can accept it. I do believe it is both just and prudent to allow the awardment of FKP to non-members, so long as their words and actions meet with the standards of our goals. This is my position as a Retard, let us begin our Debate and Discussion on the matter.

If we believe Kekephee is Retarded, surely he belongs amongst us. Let us stoke the flames within his heart, that he may soon join us in Faith.

I yield the floor to the next speaker.

Originally Posted by Filthy_Pagan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Is that permitted, Grand Moff Shogun, Adjucator of Indecision and Orator of Superfluous Nothings, Chronicler and Archivist?

He is not of the society. May he receive FKPs?

His admission and flagellation are noble indeed, and may find him mercy in the eyes of the divine Retarded God, but we would do well to ponder this thoroughly so as not to invoke His most divine anger.


I shall begin fingering the tomes in search of an answer.

Originally Posted by maskedmelon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Forgive me honorable Official Flummoxer & Perpetual Sufferer of Collywobbles, Forward Vanguard Shock Trooper, Head fondler of Spiritual Manuscripts, Keeper of the Tome of the Retarded God, Department of Trolling, Society of Retarded Posters, I grow weary of our deliberations. And must retire for a spell. You speak from the heart and your resolve and fervor are admirable. Let us also hear form our Dear Pope before settling a resolution.

Also, I have been remiss of proper manners in both acknowledgement and demonstrated gratitude due our esteemed Treasury Secretary in my contribution to this discussion. Forgive me Dear Sir, with the end of this two-thousand-and-fifteenth year of our Lord nigh my mind has been rampant with matters varied and mundane beyond the pixelverse. You do me great honor in recognition and I am humbled by your generous words. I am but a servant of the people.

I am in your debt and humbly accept this (1) Forum Kill Point.

Originally Posted by Pokesan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

HIGH PRIORITY SORP ALERT

Let us table this discussion for the moment - a temporary, possibly to become permanent, lesser equivalent of a Forum Kill Point must be created - Due to the volatile nature of this land, many retarded posts are occurring. Please alert the authors of such posts, in no uncertain terms that they have received a 'Retarded Poster Award'. All members in good standing arehereby authorized to issue this recognition under their own power and encouraged to do so with great prejudice. Once the current crisis has passed, we may return to procedural discussions.

Now is the Time for Flames. May Our Retarded God Be with Us!

HAVING HEARD these well reasoned arguments for and against the awarding of FKP points to those not crowned with the mantel of Retardation, but with acknowledged marks of the Lazy Eye and Loose Word of Retardation, and HAVING HEARD the temporary compromise provided for by our Honorable Lord Treasurer, and HAVING RUMINATED upon these matters extensively while upon the Imperial Throne of Great Flatulence, I hereby issue the following Proclamation, which unless objected to by the Prophet himself shall become official Imperial Church doctrine from this moment until the end of Retardation in the material plane:

It is beyond debate that there are a great many Retards upon this board who present offerings of exquisite Retardation to our God without ever ceremonially bending the knee to His Supreme Ignorance. THOSE WHO DO NOT PUBLICLY SUPPLICATE TO OUR RETARDED GOD MAY NEVER BE KNOWN AS ANYTHING BUT INFIDELS! The highest honor that Our Order issues, the FKP (forum kill point) point, cannot be issued in good faith to an infidel! Truly an act of Retardation, even if exceptional in its stupidity, which is committed in the name of an individual can never be as righteously ignorant as one committed explicitly on the behalf of the Retarded God and the Society of Retarded Posters!

HOWEVER, it has not escaped your Pope's attention that perhaps the most supremely Retarded among us may be so afflicted with the Blessing of Ignorance that even supplicating to the Retarded God may be a task too intellectual for them to undertake successfully! TRULY THESE FEW ARE THE MOST BLESSED among us by His Holiness, the Lord of Ebonical Speech, Deity of Unprotected Casual Sex, our Retarded God. THEREFORE, to refuse any recognition to posts of exceptional Retardation simply on the basis that the Retard has not so named himself would be a gross oversight on behalf of the Society of Retarded Posters and the Imperial Church of the Retarded God.

The Imperial Church administration has therefore concluded that a hierarchy of awards must exist which can responsibly account for non-members of demonstrable Retardation, without overly rewarding those who eschew a full and pious descent into Retardation, and who may or may not retain in their hearts a small piece of vile intellect untouched by Stupidity and Wanton Ignorance. The Retarded Poster Award as suggested by our Lord Treasurer shall become Church law, permanently, if not objected to by a majority of our organization's membership as it exists at the moment of this posting, and if not countermanded by the Prophet himself, who hath seen the Face of the Retarded God and heard of His will firsthand.

This Retarded Poster Award shall function similarly to the FKP point, requiring nomination and confirmation and tertiary confirmation by our Lord Treasurer, but shall also retain this extremely important feature: ALL THOSE SO AWARDED, should they officially enlist in the Society of Retarded Posters at a later date and bow to the Will of the Retarded God, shall have their full count of Retarded Poster Awards IMMEDIATELY AND PERMANENTLY transfigured into Forum Kill Points (FKP) points. In this way the Society and its Church shall reward new members of proven merit for their conversion by an immediate increase in status and forum prestige contingent upon their enlistment.

It is the belief of the Imperial Church of the Retarded God that these measures will encourage flourishing of the ranks of our Society and of our Church. If any objections or procedural advice be relevant, please state them in a timely fashion and I shall consider restructuring or rephrasing this pronouncement. Until then I await only to have my Imperial Proclamation confirmed by our Prophet, from whom all my authority as Pope of this Church is drawn. Lord Prophet, I shall accept a "tl;dr" as confirmation if you desire to respond thusly.

I thank you for your time, my brothers in Retardation, and I hope you are as excited for the implementation of this new recruiting measure as I am.

[Pokesan]

Emergency powers have ended. Seek a second when nominating Retardation for recognition.

In the Wake of the Great Feast, I urge you all to go forth and search for the Most Retarded among these forums. He may already walk amongst us. We will need Him when the Final Battle comes.

Let us build our numbers to defeat the Great Enemy.

[captnamazing]

tl;dr tits or gtfo

[Pokesan]

http://www.project1999.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=223495

In recognition of the post-ironic-meta-trolling ability displayed by Brother FP in the above thread, I hereby nominate Filthy_Pagan for a FKP, for the complete destruction of idiot forum retard Lurikeen.

Behold the splendor of the transfigurated Filthy_Pagan. This is only the beginning.

[Big_Japan]

Originally Posted by Pokesan [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

http://www.project1999.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=223495

In recognition of the post-ironic-meta-trolling ability displayed by Brother FP in the above thread, I hereby nominate Filthy_Pagan for a FKP, for the complete destruction of idiot forum retard Lurikeen.

Behold the splendor of the transfigurated Filthy_Pagan. This is only the beginning.

seconding this motion

get our dogg up on the board. righteous contributor