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Old 11-20-2009, 03:00 PM
guineapig guineapig is offline
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Default old EQ jokes

I stole these from here: http://aradiia.conforums.com/index.c...num=1080004166

Enjoy!



What do trolls call dwarfes in plate armor?
Canned food.

What's the shortest ranger joke?
LFG

Why does it rain so much in the Karanas?
Because everytime a ranger dies, Tunare sheds a tear.

Why did the cleric refuse to heal the ranger?
It was more mana efficient to rez him.

What's the difference between a ranger and a corpse?
About 10 seconds of agro.

How can you tell a ranger tried to break into your house??
Your cat is camping his corpse.

Why do Rangers get some of the best haste items in the game?
So they can die faster.

Why is ranger armor green and brown?
Green so they can find their corpse in the dirt & brown so they can find it on the grass.

What's the difference between an Orc Pawn and a Ranger?
An Orc Pawn doesn't get teased as much as the Ranger.

What did Emperior Crush say when the 100th Ranger tried to solo him?
DING...!!!!

What's the difference between a Ranger and the security detail that accompanies James T Kirk on away missions?
Rangers don't have red shirts.

What inspired Absor to come up with the Ranger class?
By watching Kenny in the various South Park episodes.

What do you call a Ranger with over 356 days of play time?
Masochistic

What's the only difference between Wild E Coyote and a Ranger?
A Ranger's death isn't usually the result of items ordered from Acme.

Why do Necros alway follow Rangers around?
There's always a body available for them to cast Wake the Dead.

How many rangers does it take to change a lightbulb.
None, the bulb was still cooling and the damage they took from touching the barely warmed glass killed them instantly.

Why do they call them rangers?
Because no one would play a "RezMe".

Did you hear about the ranger who killed Vox?
He got caught in her throat on the way down and she choked to death.

Why do Rangers last 30 seconds longer in Horizons?
They had to multiclass as a Druid first.

What do you call a druid that doesnt have any spells and thinks he can melee?
A Ranger!

Why don't rangers get FD?
Because the fall to the ground would kill them.

What do you call a Warrior with no arms and no legs?
I don't know, but it's better than a Ranger.

How do you know when a ranger has been tanking?
They're standing naked at their bind spot.

Why is a Ranger like a cheap $20.00 whore?
They go DOWN on anything and everything

What did one ranger say to the other at the soulbinder?
Do you come here often?

Why did the Ranger cross the road ?
Because the chicken got him down to half a bub !

What's the difference between a Ranger and Harry Potter?
One of them is a scrawny, 125lb weaking nerd that couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag and the other is a wizard.

Why did Absor create the PoP expansion set with so many portal books?
To help Rangers reach their corpses faster.

What name did Absor gave to forest warriors in EQ2?
Rangers 2.0

What are 3 things to ask rangers?
1. ) Ask if they need to get Aego before going in out door zones just in case it rains and they start losing HP.
2.) Ask them if they've made a "/consent" hotkey yet to save time.
3.) Ask them why they came to this raid, since there will be no need for them to eat any DT's.

Did you hear about the level 65 Ranger who was really tough and was always wanted in groups?
....And you never will either.

Raidleader: "Incoming! Meleer's to the front, Casters drop back. Rangers.....TRY to look like you are contributing!"



An Elf, a Human and a Dwarf walk into the tavern and each orders a Beer. When the three Beers arrive a fly lands in each one.
The Elf pushes the Beer away distainfully, wanting nothing to do with it.
The Human flicks out the fly and finishes the Beer in one gulp.
The Dwarf gingerly picks out the fly by its wings, gently holds it over his glass and screams "SPIT IT OUT YE BASTARD, SPIT IT OUT!!
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  #2  
Old 11-20-2009, 03:04 PM
guineapig guineapig is offline
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Sorry rangers, it's all in good fun. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:40 PM
Tollen Tollen is offline
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wow so much ranger hate.

Chic we grouping in Uguk again tonight?
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:47 PM
messiah_b messiah_b is offline
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What did one ranger say to another ranger?

"You're bound here too?"
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Old 11-20-2009, 03:59 PM
guineapig guineapig is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tollen [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
wow so much ranger hate.

Chic we grouping in Uguk again tonight?
I'm game! Just gotta sell of my loot from last night first... (I now regret binding in the swamp.)
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:59 PM
Tollen Tollen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guineapig [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]
I'm game! Just gotta sell of my loot from last night first... (I now regret binding in the swamp.)
It made for quicker CR ~

Not sure how much more we can hunt there, lots of Dark blue which was good xp, but the reds where way OP like that sham that almost wiped us...
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  #7  
Old 11-20-2009, 05:11 PM
guineapig guineapig is offline
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I'm game for finding another area if we have a decent group like last night.
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