How long until you fart

[Grahm]

Serious-ish question.

how long until you fart/shit in front of a girl/guy you really like?

[Pico]

i usualy ask if they enjoy farts and proceed from there

[Pico]

sry didnt put a time, typically 1 or 2 days after first ejaculation

[Tasslehofp99]

Only one way to tell if a relationship will work out with someone that you really like. That is to truly just be yourself, if you gotta fart or poop then just don't be gross about it.

[Hasbinbad]

If you're really holding in farts, this society fucked you up and you have a lot of self-healing to do.

[visage]

It varies , however make sure you have established kissing , and if not sex first. If you have had sex with this woman , you can bust a fart out. Infact the moment you do , it lets the person know it's okay to fart aka be human. Same with burping and any other self conscious thing about being human. Usually when I persue a woman. I have established well over 12 hours of comfort building and sex. At which point I will totally fart if I need to , but I will be polite about it. For instance , recently I had In N out. Being on a diet , that food didn't sit well with me. I ended up farting like a mother fucker in this chicks car , but I rolled down the windows and prewarned her. HAHA mind you it wasn't an attractive thing to do , but it showed I was human.

[Kagatob]

If you're really holding in farts, this society fucked you up and you have a lot of self-healing to do.

QFT. OP might as well ask how long until you can sneeze in front of a person.

[Barkingturtle]

I typically don't force people I respect to smell the food rotting inside my body.

Of course I don't consume any animal products, so there's very little if anything decomposing inside me, unlike most of you fatties.

In the event one does need to fart, it is exactly like sneezing -- one should fart into their own palm or into the nook of their elbow and then the offensive gases should be thrown in the garbage.

[Lojik]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oEvl4go1Kk

[Grahm]

I don't watch wilfred unless frodo baggins is in it

[r00t]

sry didnt put a time, typically 1 or 2 days after first ejaculation

[Grahm]

If you're really holding in farts, this society fucked you up and you have a lot of self-healing to do.

Holding in a silent one maybe, but if you take a girl to applebees for the 1st-3rd date, you can't just lean over and shart yourself and go "haha gold ol human nature"

I've been on both sides of the spectrum where I didnt fart or shit in front of a girl for 8+ months, and have had a girlfriend that would literally intentionally queef while I was eating her out.

[visage]

Dude if I was eating a chick out or giving a rim job. If she farted from either end. It would be a deal breaker. One time though, I was nailing a chick from behind, and she qeefed so hard it shot out my dick. Was so epic I bought her a mil shake after.

[Kagatob]

Lol @ scared of queef.

[Grahm]

queefs dont even smell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKE7pphzOcU

[visage]

I bet there are smelly ones. Either way sucking or licking out a fart into your mouth is disgusting

[Hailto]

and have had a girlfriend that would literally intentionally queef while I was eating her out.

That's over the line man, what the fuck.

[visage]

That's over the line man, what the fuck.

Right? First time is forgiven, second puke in her snatch

[Tecmos Deception]

If you're really holding in farts, this society fucked you up and you have a lot of self-healing to do.

Personally I like to fuck neanderthal women with pubes to their knees who have never showered once in their lives, who have shit smeared all over their asses, and whose teeth are falling out because they flaunt the societal norm of tooth-brushing. I ain't no brainwashed sheep! At least these neanderthal bitches like the smell of the inside of my ass so I can fart whenever I damn well please, ya heard?

[Hasbinbad]

I typically don't force people I respect to smell the food rotting inside my body.
i guess if it's out of basic courtesy, but like, some people hold their fart and pretend they dont need to fart. if you feel a fart, excuse yourself to fart for fucks sake quit acting 16.

[Hasbinbad]

Dude if I was eating a chick out or giving a rim job. If she farted from either end. It would be a deal breaker. One time though, I was nailing a chick from behind, and she qeefed so hard it shot out my dick. Was so epic I bought her a mil shake after.
You may not be gay, but you're gay.

[Hasbinbad]

That's over the line man, what the fuck.
Right? First time is forgiven, second puke in her snatch
u 2 should get cosmos at Sky Bar

[visage]

Hbb you fucked Tralina and paid her faire and food cost... I can only imagine how many times she farted when you were nailing her and sharing donuts. Your internet persona make work on her. It just doesn't persuade me to think you slept with more than two woman your entire life without paying....

[gotrocks]

the whole farting thing is fuckin silly.

my girl actually met a dude who would not let her fart or even shit in his house. they werent dating but i think that makes it even more ridiculous. If the human body and its functions gross you out that much, male or female, you should not be having sex because it should revolt you (to be clear, this guy was trying to sleep with her while she was with me and failed miserably).

If you're a guy, and you don't let your significant other fart, you are trying to hold women to an ideal in your head that is never and will never be true. Or you're just fucking weird, cmon man, everyone farts.

If you're a gal, and you dont let your significant other fart, you're a prissy little princess and i suggest you take a big whiff of the toilet bowl next time you shit, because yes it does in fact stink. Or you're just fucking weird, cmon girl, everyone farts.

There are exceptions here, if you're having some really rancid gas you definitely need to take that shit into account. I don't care how comfortable you are with someone, smelling straight ass coming out of someones ass is fucking horrible. Farts that only smell mildly and disapate quickly do not qualify for this rule.

And lastly, to answer your question grahm, you really should ask your partner after the first couple times you have sex. I really think that if you can't fart in front of someone you're dating that you shouldn't be dating that person. If you two can't share gas with each other, whats going to happen when the big stuff comes around, like showering while she takes a shit in the morning? Seriously though, that shows a level of discomfort that should be broken down quickly in a good relationship.

fart away, boys.

[Hailto]

IIRC HBB stood Tral up and never actually met her in person.

[visage]

IIRC HBB stood Tral up and never actually met her in person.

He likes to say that

[Hasbinbad]

Hbb you fucked Tralina and paid her faire and food cost... I can only imagine how many times she farted when you were nailing her and sharing donuts. Your internet persona make work on her. It just doesn't persuade me to think you slept with more than two woman your entire life without paying....
i bet your conception of reality is at least half based on tabloid magazines

[Ephirith]

One time in college I was being used by a girl I liked, and spent a couple hours fixing her god awful paper at my apartment. Before she came over, I had gone to the costco food court and eaten a chicken bake, 2 slices of pizza, and a polish dog. We sat down on my couch and I worked with her. The entire time I had to fart so fucking bad; immense pressure was building inside my anus to the point where I thought if I shifted in my seat too briskly it would explode out of my rectum. There were faintly audible internal farts, pops, and groans as the gas thrashed around inside by bowels but I tried my best to disguise it with my voice. I knew that even if I went to the bathroom, there would be no guarantee I would be able to let it out quietly-- as it was, I had to physically concentrate on tightening my asshole to keep it in safely.

Finally after several hours of holding in the brewing storm, she got up to leave. I followed her to the door and closed it behind her. The instant the door closed, with my hand still on the handle, I spread my legs a little, bent over slightly, and grimaced as a raging tempest of hot gas surged out of my asshole. There was a sharp crack, a deep rumble, and then a gurgle as my sphincter struggled under the onslaught. The gust lasted for a good 5 or 6 seconds and it left my butthole stinging.

Several moments after it was over, I heard very clear footsteps from outside-- I looked at the window a few feet from the door and saw that, although the blinds were closed, it was wide open.

She never asked for help again.

[Ahldagor]

if she can't handle your gas
then she ain't worth the ass

[Kagatob]

if she can't handle your gas
then she ain't worth the ass

Yep, dumb bitch ain't worth shit.

[Shannacore]

IIRC HBB stood Tral up and never actually met her in person.

^, mostly. "stood up" is maybe not the right phrase.

[gotrocks]

^ that was uncanny. its like you knew they were talking about you.

[Hasbinbad]

^, mostly. "stood up" is maybe not the right phrase.
Agreed.
^ that was uncanny. its like you knew they were talking about you.
Tralina B'lurkin the Trollina

[Hasbinbad]

Want Tralina's opinion on something? Start talking about her on RnF, she'll be there shortly and u can ask.

[gotrocks]

Want Tralina's opinion on something? Start talking about her on RnF, she'll be there shortly and u can ask.

oddly enough this seems true

[Shannacore]

Yeah, every so often I come back and do a search for my name to see what gossipy nonsense has been going on.

I'd stop if there weren't new posts every few days~

[Hasbinbad]

You're the closest most of these people have ever been to seeing a vagina.

[gotrocks]

Yeah, every so often I come back and do a search for my name to see what gossipy nonsense has been going on.

I'd stop if there weren't new posts every few days~

oh cmon tralalalalina, i like your posts but you aint *that* popular!

and hbb you and i both know you're grossly underestimating the ability of p99 mos eisley scum to get vagina.

or maybe its just a small percentage of us getting all the ass and raising the average ;)

[gotrocks]

and by us, i mean not me because i stick to one fine piece of ass at a time and make it last

[Kagatob]

Yeah, every so often I come back and do a search for my name to see what gossipy nonsense has been going on.

I'd stop if there weren't new posts every few days~

My girlfriend is half lesbian and wants a plaything but she's really shy and refuses to take initiative.

She's cute, short (5' nothing) and dorky as hell. Whatcha say? :)

[Shannacore]

oh cmon tralalalalina, i like your posts but you aint *that* popular!

Yes I am

My girlfriend is half lesbian and wants a plaything but she's really shy and refuses to take initiative.

She's cute, short (5' nothing) and dorky as hell. Whatcha say? :)

Haha, uhmmmmmmmm pass

[gotrocks]

kagatobs whats a half lesbian?

and now you're just being vain tralalalina

[Kagatob]

kagatob whats a half lesbian?

A female bi-sexual.

[Hasbinbad]

Tralina might be the only person on p99 more well-known to the authentic p99 community (i.e. not you) than am I.

Maybe not "more;" at a certain point we forum deities cease to be more or less than each other, but instead are simply different.

[Hasbinbad]

One simply cannot be "more royal." One either is royal or one is not.

[Kagatob]

Haha, uhmmmmmmmm pass

Not into ladies? :(

[Hasbinbad]

You popular? Maybe when you get the train ran on you and everyone high fives each other after and talks about how much of a whore you are. But the popularity dwindles when they find out you gave them the clap.

just say'n
You don't get fan fiction from random ass noobs unless you're forum royalty. Just saying.

[Shannacore]

You don't get fan fiction from random ass noobs unless you're forum royalty. Just saying.

^

[spoils]

Only one way to tell if a relationship will work out with someone that you really like. That is to truly just be yourself, if you gotta fart or poop then just don't be gross about it.

shut up meg





<3 but srs! that's all i could think of when reading that.

[diplo]

my gf refuses to poop around me and we live together (guess thats just how she was raised, because it's lady-like) idk breh.

[diplo]

also, as andre 3000 greatly put it

"i know you like to thank yo shit don't stank, but lean a little bit closer see those roses really smell like poo poo pooooo"

[visage]

I want to see a p99 marathon run or race.Imagine all the fatties

[this user was banned]

If you're really holding in farts, this society fucked you up and you have a lot of self-healing to do.

confirmed virgin

[Hasbinbad]

I want to see a p99 marathon run or race.Imagine all the fatties
i want to see you pass any 8th grade standardized test.imagine all the excuses

[Hasbinbad]

I might be obese but I can stop eating twinkies covered in gravy if I want to.

[White Ranger]

You can't know if you have 'the one' until you see how the lucky lady responds to a vigorous dutch oven. I suggest at or as close to the second date as possible

[myriverse]

If you haven't learned how to be silent by the time you can date, there's something wrong.

[Shannacore]

I am back on the market, ~let's date~

[Asap]

I am back on the market, ~let's date~

youre doin it wrong

[Ektar]

do I have to fart first

[Grahm]

OP is a weird dude, just sayin.

+1

[Grahm]

I am back on the market, ~let's date~

How long until i can rip ass in front of you?

[gotrocks]

I am back on the market, ~let's date~

do you fart on the first date?