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-   -   Who wrote those satirical stories? (/forums/showthread.php?t=255561)

Sillyturtle 10-12-2016 06:55 AM

Who wrote those satirical stories?
 
Pretty sure it was a halfling. Particularly I'm talking about the one regarding the bearlover Holy in Qeynos Hills.

Anyone able to link me?

Plowyabeastlord 10-12-2016 07:42 AM

Filbus? Capnamazing or something was forum name

Spyder73 10-12-2016 08:35 AM

Yea sounds like it was Filbus (CaptainAmazin). Due to his cucky nature he has been permanently banned from these forums. You can however read about his life in the below link

http://www.project1999.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=221545

Jontheripper 10-12-2016 01:28 PM

Sk8rgnome

AzzarTheGod 10-12-2016 02:40 PM

May he rest in peace

maskedmelon 10-12-2016 03:34 PM

Holly Windstalker is a Neurotic Bitch
 
captnamazing

Holly Windstalker is a Neurotic Bitch

Quote:

Originally Posted by captnamazing

http://m.imgur.com/NmObyPp?r

http://m.imgur.com/Pm5OwMS?r



"Holly Windstalker is a neurotic bitch," Larsk Juton tells me. He looks around anxiously. "She's not here right now, right?"

"She and I dated for a while. Never get involved with your students. I learned my lesson, all right."

After that, Larsk wouldn't say much more. Something about the Ranger code of ethics, how they can't talk about the inner workings of their guild. But, I know a thing or two about getting information, and after a weekend spent getting rowdy in the Qeynos brothel, Larsk spills the beans.

"Don't get me wrong," Larsk says. His lips are wet with bourbon and there are drops of spit staining his shirt. "Most rangers are into it. Fucking animals, I mean. Karana knows I've had my fun with some centaurs. Right? RIGHT?!" He roars with laughter, slapping my knee.

"Well, after she and I started having issues, I noticed she hung out a lot with Mammoth. The big ass bear, you know. I guess they started doing a little more than 'hanging out." Larsk blinks. "Me and the other Masters had a little chat. Decide that it's inappropriate. So we give her the boot. Tell her to go on a Long Hunt, meaning don't show your stupid bear-loving face here for three years."

"I'm not proud of it," Larsk admits, "but I ended up tracking her out into Qeynos Hills. I guess I sort of loved her. You know. Definitely jealous. Pretty quick I roll up on her camp, and there she is, fucking another bear. Just some random bear from the forest. I put a few arrows into its side and the bear dies, and Holly climbs up from under the corpse and comes at me, totally naked, starts trying to cut me with her two fucking swords, calling me all sorts of names and shit. Fucking bitch. I snared her and ran back to Surefall Glade. Never saw her again. Hopefully she gets raped to death by some gnolls. Or something."

I leave Larsk passed out in a pool of vomit. I have no sympathy for a centaur-fucker. On my way back to Rivervale I'm going to make sure to kill a couple bears


maskedmelon 10-12-2016 03:37 PM

Not sure why the images did t work

http://m.imgur.com/NmObyPp?r

http://m.imgur.com/Pm5OwMS?r

Tupakk 10-12-2016 03:38 PM

Has to be i. Not m.

maskedmelon 10-12-2016 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tupakk (Post 2379735)
Has to be i. Not m.

Huh?

Tupakk 10-12-2016 03:46 PM

http://i.imgur.com/NmObyPp?r


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