Hi OP,
1. Ignore charisma. It doesn't matter for bard charms as they last 18 seconds anyway. The most important thing you can do is use charm, lull, and mez on blue mobs. Level disparity between yourself and the target makes a MUCH bigger difference than charisma.
If you lull blue mobs, your charisma won't matter. I'd advise putting zero points in charisma and just avoid using lull on yellow+ mobs. If you have to, equip one or two big charisma items like opallines or a stein. Don't gear for charisma, either.
I recommend aspiring bards do some research on this and compare the value you'd get from charisma (tiny, and applies only in rare situations) versus the value you'd get from stamina (small, but applies much more often).
Please read my post here:
https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...36#post3037436
Additional threads with info you may find useful:
https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...d.php?t=295878
https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...d.php?t=344860
https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...d.php?t=317022
https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...d.php?t=318170
I'd go all stamina and the rest in strength. I understand if it's hard to resist the urge to put points in dex, though.
2. It depends on what the situation is, and what songs you're playing.
Let's say you're playing Hymn of Restoration and people in the group have taken damage. Put on a lute to heal them faster. Once they reach full HP, you don't need the lute on, or even the song. Maybe put on weapons and start meleeing until someone takes damage.
3. Here are some fun ideas:
• Rogue: snare and fear the mob so the rogue can go to town. Twist in damage songs once you have the situation under control.
• Necromancer: play heal song (with lute equipped) so they can lich more; twist in damage songs on their target; pull for them so they can focus on casting and meditating; and probably twist mana song along with heal song during downtime
• Druid: give them mana and twist DoTs; fear the mob so the druid can med while "kiting."
• Monk, warrior, ranger, SK, paladin: pull singles for them (using lull on blue mobs only to avoid resists), haste them, slow the mob, perhaps use a damage shield song or other damage songs. Help them win! Or fear-kite like with a rogue. Or alternate this tactic with fear-kiting to take advantage of passive HP regen.
• Wizard: autofollow them with Selo's on while they quad; mana song them while they med. Also, pull four mobs for them so they can continue to med. If they have 1-2 mobs at very low HP, finish them off to conserve the wizard's mana. They also have greater security with your assistance. Quad kiting perfected.