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#1
11-23-2015, 06:23 PM
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The Lost Adventures, Part 1
The Lost Adventures of Filbus Furyfoot and Tekilya Wu'Tang
A long time ago in a galaxy, far, far away…There was a warrior named Filbus Furyfoot. Filbus was not the strongest, cleverest, or best looking of warriors. In fact, he was an outcast. While growing up in the Misty Thicket, Filbus would be routinely kicked and beaten by the other Halflings. Even the adults seemed to turn a blind eye to the torment of young Filbus. Girls would mock him for his horrendous looks, boys would routinely beat him unconscious, and all the while the adults would chuckle in the background while drinking mead around the fire. To Filbus, the world was a simple and disturbing place – wake up alone, go to school, get kicked and punched, and then run home as the girls laughed at his ragged clothing. Some of the more nasty children started to call him “Failbus Furycrotch” after a rumor started that young Filbus had visited a local cleric because it burned when he would pee. As the years went on and the abuse grew harsher, young Filbus decided he had had enough. Packing up his meager belongings, Filbus set out into the great wide open, in search of the the city of dreams – The City of Qeynos. The road to Qeynos was not an easy one. Filbus was robbed by gypsies somewhere in the Karanas, forced to do unspeakable things to earn his keep. After months of travel and prostitution, Filbus arrived at Qeynos. Things did not go as he had planned. The corrupt guards would not let Filbus into the city until certain “favors” were performed. Filbus quickly found himself living at a travern being turned out by a local Bard who would keep him doped up on Rustle Leaf. During an opium induced haze, Filbus had a moment of clarity and ran for the hills. This was the first time he met Tekilya Wu’Tang. Tekilya was battling the gnolls of Black Burrow in order to get his orange headband when he heard a womans scream. As Tekilya turned investigated the scene, he saw a cowering male Halfing being dragged inside Black Burrow by a group of Gnolls. Master Wu had expressly forbidden Tekliya from entering the Den until he had completed his training, but Tekilya was a man of action. Tekilya busted into the den, round house kicking Gnolls left and right in a fury of fists and feet. Filbus looked up through blackened eyes, and with his last breath before he fell unconscious, he whispered as quiet as the wind, “Thank you monk, let me cuck for you”. And with that, darkness took Filbus Furyfoots thoughts. Filbus awakened in the Temple of The Whislting Fist. Master Wu was standing over him with a critical eye, judging his very essence. Tekilya was running laps in the garden as punishment, sometimes winking at the local gathering of girls that had come to watch the young monk run his laps as his biceps glistened in the sun. Wu called out to Tekilya that his punishment was over when Filbus started to come back to life. Filbus, not knowing where he was or what had happened, started to undress with bashful eyes under the hard gaze of Master Wu. Quick as lightning Wu cracked Filbus over the head his staff. Master Wu spent the next 7 days building Furyfoot back into a man, nursing him back to life both mentally and physically. Then on the 8th day, Master Wu received a letter that would change both Filbus and Tekilya’s destinys forever.... | ||
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#6
11-23-2015, 07:24 PM
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Amazingly enough I am probably the only person who will read this and I laughed a couple of times
__________________
Kekephee Souphanousinphone
Erudite Bard <BDA> Blue Server Every song I play is actually just me screaming the 1812 Overture in a raspy, shrieking falsetto. | ||
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#7
11-23-2015, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
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#8
11-23-2015, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
>B-But you spelled a word wrong! Fucking kekking my ass off tbh fam, When you sharp shoot someone, check your 6. | |||
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#9
11-23-2015, 07:47 PM
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Linear Mode
