Bernie Bro Manifesto REVEALED!

[Pokesan]

I don't care who gets elected if it's not Sanders.

A strong, strong opening.

I was going to sit out the election because I loathe politics after being highly active in '08 to get Obama elected.

I am 23 years old.

The current system is total garbage, and that's what I want changed

Fucking establishment. Also, I totally almost got laid by a chick who was big into OWS.

I'll vote 3rd party or I won't vote.

This is all about me.

Hillary is everything that is wrong with politics today. She constantly lies. She's heavily invested into by special interests. That's the shit I want to end

I am easily persuaded by bumper stickers.

So pardon me if I don't subscribe to your "but at least she's more closely aligned to my politics beliefs" angle. I don't care.

Got that? Policy don't real, only my feels.

I'd rather watch the system go into chaos for the next 4-8 years to spark the change I want than to just accept a substantially worse candidate on the Democratic side.

I am white and from an upper middle class family. Also, I don't know anything about politics.

At least Trump winning would be a win from an anti-establishment point of view

I'm really, really white.

I want the political system to change.

I don't understand the political system.

I want campaign finance reform.

I want a pony.

I want a modern Glass Steagall.

Most experts prefer Clinton's plan, here, but FUCK YOU MOM, you can't ground me just for smoking a little fucking weed! Cunt.

I want legalized marijuana.

Of course you do, slugger.

I want a candidate who believes in something instead of just what is popular that minute.

I got this opinion from my older brother's comments on Metallica after Napster.

Hillary is none of that, and therefore she'll never get my vote.

Fuck Lars, too.

Sorry.

Killer closing, right Bros?