I just don't want this Checkraise gem to die

[Safon]

https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=95466

I believe the original contributor is a guy called Rooster Cogburn.

I know little of Red politics, but this was poetry, and it deserves it's place in P99 forum history.

The picture of him hiding during that last man standing event, if true, is equally hilarious.


Here's the story for those too lazy to check the other thread (the original thread seems lost to history). and with that, I leave the Red forums until it is time once more to return and ensure this golden piece of server history is preserved.




"Checkraise stared emotionlessly at the gun he held in his hand. This was a culminating point of his life – all those missed opportunities, all those filthy whore women who rejected him, all those empty packets of burritos, laying scattered across his room like crusty pieces of his dignity. What a life...a wasted one at that, and what better a way to go than dying and rotting alone the way he lived – surrounded by his own filth and shortcomings. He wondered if they would need some kind of special crane of machine to remove his bloated corpse.
Checkraise furrowed his brow, the sweat slowly dripping down his clammy chins. This was it, maybe one last pizza would be ordered. He couldn’t go dying on an empty stomach now could he? To Google he went. But then, in a moment of desolation, Checkraise decided to revisit his lost love, to give his old cruel mistress, one last glimpse....
”E..V….E….R…..Q…U…” as he typed in to Google, Checkraise saw something that would avert his suicide, and give his life meaning once again. “EVERQUEST Project 1999 Classic Everquest Server.” His heart skipped a bit, his pupils dilated, his boner boned for the first time in years.
No longer would he have to live in this shame filled world, no longer would his knowledge of ancient computer games go unchecked, no longer would he have to live as a level 1 in his parent’s basement.…this was a new dawn….this was…THE BIRTH OF CHECKRAISE."

[Lu|zSect]

TLDR
u mad

[Hagglebaron]

Originally Posted by Safon [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=95466

I believe the original contributor is a guy called Rooster Cogburn.

I know little of Red politics, but this was poetry, and it deserves it's place in P99 forum history.

The picture of him hiding during that last man standing event, if true, is equally hilarious.


Here's the story for those too lazy to check the other thread (the original thread seems lost to history). and with that, I leave the Red forums until it is time once more to return and ensure this golden piece of server history is preserved.




"Checkraise stared emotionlessly at the gun he held in his hand. This was a culminating point of his life – all those missed opportunities, all those filthy whore women who rejected him, all those empty packets of burritos, laying scattered across his room like crusty pieces of his dignity. What a life...a wasted one at that, and what better a way to go than dying and rotting alone the way he lived – surrounded by his own filth and shortcomings. He wondered if they would need some kind of special crane of machine to remove his bloated corpse.
Checkraise furrowed his brow, the sweat slowly dripping down his clammy chins. This was it, maybe one last pizza would be ordered. He couldn’t go dying on an empty stomach now could he? To Google he went. But then, in a moment of desolation, Checkraise decided to revisit his lost love, to give his old cruel mistress, one last glimpse....
”E..V….E….R…..Q…U…” as he typed in to Google, Checkraise saw something that would avert his suicide, and give his life meaning once again. “EVERQUEST Project 1999 Classic Everquest Server.” His heart skipped a bit, his pupils dilated, his boner boned for the first time in years.
No longer would he have to live in this shame filled world, no longer would his knowledge of ancient computer games go unchecked, no longer would he have to live as a level 1 in his parent’s basement.…this was a new dawn….this was…THE BIRTH OF CHECKRAISE."

lmao

Doing God's work

[SamwiseRed]

one of the best posts of all time, thanks for reminding me.

[Grimjaw]

heres the original

https://www.project1999.com/forums/s...4&postcount=18

[HippoNipple]

Lol HB has gotten so much shit for that and NW goes by with no blame even tho he was the tree.

[Redi]

good find

[hammbone]

got the highlights on that brick of text?

[Sirban]

I kinda wanna log in now

[Tradesonred]

So to recap

hes fat, eats cheetos, virgin, basement dweller but in TLDR form, something weve read hundreds of times on forums

I want my 3 minutes back