What's something good that happened today?

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by Raj [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Break a leg, wishing u much success and happy times! [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I actually got rejected after first date, a first for me in life. I’ve always been the one usually to reject the gal, which I’ll do by just not responding to messages after the date. I’ve heard from family that it’s more polite to at least let them know you weren’t feeling a connection, but I didn’t want to deal with possible arguments or negative statements so I tend to just ghost

I can identify I think where things went wrong. I picked a Christian gal but didn’t realize HOW Christian (Bible study, church and church group). She knew I was Christian but that my attendance was generally bad. Early on in the date I mentioned that I had tried Bible study and just didn’t like it, so didn’t keep going. After this, her entire demeanor changed. She became a lot more wooden, and quite boring

For example, I would ask her about her family and get only a short answer with no follow up. I would ask her about work and get “I don’t like talking about work when not at work”. Stuff like that. She wasn’t cold, and still asked me questions and appeared to have some interest in my responses, but definitely seemed to have made her mind up

Because she was by far the most athletic girl I had met from online, I was still willing to give it a second chance. But when I mentioned being willing to see her again she replied that she just wasn’t feeling a connection and wished me the best. I replied “no worries, u as well!” And that was that. All it cost me was a cup of coffee and an hour of my time. I don’t feel bad, I don’t think I made any obvious mistakes and while I am Christian, I am not going to lie or exaggerate my level of faith in order to try to appease someone. The only criticism I did have of her, is that me personally, even if I wasn’t feeling the person, I would still be a bit more personable and engaging out of politeness

But no bother, already have 3 other conversations going with other gals, 2 on bumble and 1 on match [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[Jibartik]

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I actually got rejected after first date, a first for me in life. I’ve always been the one usually to reject the gal, which I’ll do by just not responding to messages after the date. I’ve heard from family that it’s more polite to at least let them know you weren’t feeling a connection, but I didn’t want to deal with possible arguments or negative statements so I tend to just ghost

I can identify I think where things went wrong. I picked a Christian gal but didn’t realize HOW Christian (Bible study, church and church group). She knew I was Christian but that my attendance was generally bad. Early on in the date I mentioned that I had tried Bible study and just didn’t like it, so didn’t keep going. After this, her entire demeanor changed. She became a lot more wooden, and quite boring

For example, I would ask her about her family and get only a short answer with no follow up. I would ask her about work and get “I don’t like talking about work when not at work”. Stuff like that. She wasn’t cold, and still asked me questions and appeared to have some interest in my responses, but definitely seemed to have made her mind up

Because she was by far the most athletic girl I had met from online, I was still willing to give it a second chance. But when I mentioned being willing to see her again she replied that she just wasn’t feeling a connection and wished me the best. I replied “no worries, u as well!” And that was that. All it cost me was a cup of coffee and an hour of my time. I don’t feel bad, I don’t think I made any obvious mistakes and while I am Christian, I am not going to lie or exaggerate my level of faith in order to try to appease someone. The only criticism I did have of her, is that me personally, even if I wasn’t feeling the person, I would still be a bit more personable and engaging out of politeness

But no bother, already have 3 other conversations going with other gals, 2 on bumble and 1 on match [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I think if you had to describe why exactly society is collapsing, it'd be because this was the melinial experience.

No offence intended unsung, you do you, but the overall experience you describe not only sounds like hell, but it sounds like we've turned relationships and dating into a souless buffet that is at best comparable to a tiktok feed where you just zoom through it until your brain is smoothed to a fine marble.

Stop ghosting lol though lol just say thanks for the great evening, but Im just not feeling a connection, I hope you undersatnd and take care!

then you can ghost, but send that at least first its like nothing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by Jibartik [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I think if you had to describe why exactly society is collapsing, it'd be because this was the melinial experience.

No offence intended unsung, you do you, but the overall experience you describe not only sounds like hell, but it sounds like we've turned relationships and dating into a souless buffet that is at best comparable to a tiktok feed where you just zoom through it until your brain is smoothed to a fine marble.

Stop ghosting lol though lol just say thanks for the great evening, but Im just not feeling a connection, I hope you undersatnd and take care!

then you can ghost, but send that at least first its like nothing [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The Think Before you Sleep YouTuber broke down some problems with online dating that sounded similar

The biggest problem for online dating for everyone is that your pictures are everything. The vast majority of people are going to be deciding based almost entirely on pictures. It is a buffet of shallowness, I agree. It also means that people who can take a good picture (or doctor one, I’ve seen a lot of that), are at a huge advantage, regardless of how attractive they actually are

The next is that the thousands of choices makes everyone extremely selective especially women. Now this is obviously going to vary based on who you go after. I am on the shallow side so I tend to go after not the absolute prettiest, but close. There are many girls I see on there who have a few flaws, like thin lips or slightly too wide a face, but actually have a decent/healthy/slender (whatever you’re into) body. And I think man, I bet a lot of guys this girl has right swiped has left swiped her back (left means rejected on all apps). I bet if I didn’t, she would be all over me. But I just couldn’t do it, because of my shallowness. BUT, dating apps did not make me this way. I have always put too much value on looks

I got off in a tangent but yeah those are the biggest flaws of online. The other girl I’m dating that my fam set me up with hates social media and dating apps and says she has no interest in meeting people that way. A huge potential loss, because she is quite pretty and if she put any time or effort into them she could make a killing. But yeah if you can meet someone organically like through friends or something that’s always going to be ideal. Whatever the connection is, whether it’s friend of a friend or a co-worker or whatever, you get a trial run of their personality before you start dating them

[Jibartik]

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

The Think Before you Sleep YouTuber broke down some problems with online dating that sounded similar

The biggest problem for online dating for everyone is that your pictures are everything. The vast majority of people are going to be deciding based almost entirely on pictures. It is a buffet of shallowness, I agree. It also means that people who can take a good picture (or doctor one, I’ve seen a lot of that), are at a huge advantage, regardless of how attractive they actually are

The next is that the thousands of choices makes everyone extremely selective especially women. Now this is obviously going to vary based on who you go after. I am on the shallow side so I tend to go after not the absolute prettiest, but close. There are many girls I see on there who have a few flaws, like thin lips or slightly too wide a face, but actually have a decent/healthy/slender (whatever you’re into) body. And I think man, I bet a lot of guys this girl has right swiped has left swiped her back (left means rejected on all apps). I bet if I didn’t, she would be all over me. But I just couldn’t do it, because of my shallowness. BUT, dating apps did not make me this way. I have always put too much value on looks

I got off in a tangent but yeah those are the biggest flaws of online. The other girl I’m dating that my fam set me up with hates social media and dating apps and says she has no interest in meeting people that way. A huge potential loss, because she is quite pretty and if she put any time or effort into them she could make a killing. But yeah if you can meet someone organically like through friends or something that’s always going to be ideal. Whatever the connection is, whether it’s friend of a friend or a co-worker or whatever, you get a trial run of their personality before you start dating them

There is so much I want to address because like 50 cannaries are dead in this message, not your fault, just observing that society is rotting to the core.

Talking to a woman in real life is sexual harasment now and even looking at a kid is pedophelia.

We're doomed.

Did you know it used to be 45% of Americans met their SO's at work and those that met their SO's at work had a 90% chance of successful marriage.

Now the work place marriages make up 20%

And women still get paid less than men.

We're doomed.

DOOMED.

[Jimjam]

Good thing though Unsunghero’s datelife may be, I do feel dating deserves it’s own thread. That said I do want to address this one point:

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

I tend to just ghost

...

The only criticism I did have of her, is that me personally, even if I wasn’t feeling the person, I would still be a bit more personable and engaging out of politeness

Ghosting isn’t exactly personable and engaging nor a polite way to disengage with someone you don’t match. Perhaps a slight double standard to work on?

On topic: Found a gameboy colour and playing through pokemon red. Won’t save so I don’t overwrite mew.

[unsunghero]

Originally Posted by Jimjam [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Good thing though Unsunghero’s datelife may be, I do feel dating deserves it’s own thread
.

While I like talking about myself in general, doing it about dating is with a purpose. I think there’s a decent amount of people here who have given up on dating or it’s been so long they have forgotten how it goes in the modern day. Trying to normalize it a bit. Not vilify it, not glamorize it, just an honest neutral account of my experience. But an entire new thread seems like a bit much

In regards to dating apps, my mom met my stepdad on match, I’ve had multiple relatives and friends meet their husbands and wives on dating apps and have stayed in those relationships. So we can’t paint everyone on them with the same brush. Like I said, your experience is going to largely depend on the type of person you go after

That being said I promise to watch that vid posted here as I like the stuff from Ginasp99, I just can’t right this moment due to having a call at work

[Jimjam]

Originally Posted by unsunghero [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

While I like talking about myself in general, doing it about dating is with a purpose. I think there’s a decent amount of people here who have given up on dating or it’s been so long they have forgotten how it goes in the modern day. Trying to normalize it a bit. Not vilify it, not glamorize it, just an honest neutral account of my experience. But an entire new thread seems like a bit much

In regards to dating apps, my mom met my stepdad on match, I’ve had multiple relatives and friends meet their husbands and wives on dating apps and have stayed in those relationships. So we can’t paint everyone on them with the same brush. Like I said, your experience is going to largely depend on the type of person you go after

That being said I promise to watch that vid posted here as I like the stuff from Ginasp99, I just can’t right this moment due to having a call at work

Thank you for taking my feedback well, I have much respect for that! Lots of people have strong relationships that started on apps so I agree you may find success (and I wish you best of luck for that!) I’m packing my day bags for our third wedding anniversary- if there is hope for me there is hope for everyone here !


Have a good un everyone!

Ih also last night I got to play 2 games of tabletop mordheim!