yawn

[Duik]

Did someone say jokes.

I once holidayed in Jamaica and did the tourist things, I entered a dim smokey shop with a grizzled old man behind the counter.

We nodded t'ward each other as i motioned to a pair of leather shoes. The old man said they were imbued wirh mystic power to always, if worn correctly get the owner home safely.

Holy shit, stumbing from the pub will never be easier! That worked for about 2 months then the shoes disappeared.
The shoes got bored of short drunken trips and wanted some excitement. It stole a car and crashed it into a lake.
The shoes were recovered but never again magically made their way home again.
I was crestfallen. I decided to visit the local priest. He listened intently and said it is ok my son your mystic footware are in heaven, you see as it turns out, shoes have soles.