new year's resolutions thread.

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by NopeNopeNopeNope [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Yea, from working with homeless clients for the past 17ish years, I think that the layperson doesn’t understand just how many of the homeless have mostly one single problem: very very low IQ

It’s not a medical problem. It’s not a mental illness, per se. But it is a life-ruiner. Someone with a very low IQ will struggle to get or maintain any job that requires remotely complicated instructions or tasks. They won’t understand how to manage money. They will fall for scams and con artists left and right

And they really have no protection. There are group homes for those with legal status of mental disability, but everyone just above that cutoff gets fucked. And asylums won’t be able to help them, or they won’t want to stay in one because they won’t feel they belong with the seriously mentally ill

Truth. It's so complicated. Too easy to oversimplify from a high pedestal.

The mind is full of openess and compassion for the people and situation.

 

Of The Architecture of Altruism

The spiritual genius does not wander aimlessly. Her work is precise—thirteen distinct acts, performed without hesitation, for the redemption of every kind of being.

To the lowly, to the confused, to the awakened-in-waiting—she teaches according to their state. She attracts them, not with empty spectacle, but with sacred illusion that awakens faith. She introduces them to the Dharma not as a doctrine, but as an open door. She explains its depth, removes their doubts, and cultivates in them the virtues required for the great journey.

She advises, steadies, liberates their insight, and blesses them with excellence. She does not merely teach—she awakens destinies. In time, she exalts them into the family of the Transcendent Ones, prophesies their Buddhahood, and anoints them with wisdom beyond this world.

This is altruism: not sentiment, but a divine operation.

And it does not falter. Her instructions match the need. She works without arrogance, without possession, without pride. Her attraction is humble. Her teaching is skillful. Her development of virtue is patient. Her guidance is restrained. Her elevation of others is vast. And her energy? Inexhaustible.

Why? Because the beings she serves are infinite, and her vow is tied not to lifespan, but to necessity.

This is what it means to live without a trace of self-interest: to lift up countless others in a way that no individual benefit could ever match.

If you speak of compassion, let it be this. Not a mood, not a feeling—but a structure. A thirteenfold miracle, built upon the vow that never breaks.

If your altruism lacks clarity, patience, or precision, it is not yet the Bodhisattva’s.

Begin again. And do it properly this time.

[NopeNopeNopeNope]

Had a request today from a Hispanic, Spanish speaking, parent of a 19yr old gal. Had to talk to the parent through an interpreter phone service to get background info

Mom says she’s calling because daughter ripped her earrings out of her ears and threw her phone to break it today. I ask what’s the context, why do you think she might have done these things? Her mom is like oh I dunno, she gets like this when it’s her period. I’m thinking really? You reached out for mental health assistance for teenage period angst?

Turns out her mom was like the worst hypothetical guesser in the world because that was so fucking off base it wasn’t even on the same planet. Nor was her daughter, I dunno what planet she was on but it wasn’t Earth

(Note: I have a dark sense of humor but this is sad. Possible onset age 19 no hard drug use, these are max-sad situations because it often means a lifetime of serious up to life threatening mental health struggles)

But keep in mind I’m going into talking to her (English speaking thank God, phone translators are so awkward) daughter thinking this is just some period moodiness

But having worked in the field for 17 years I can recognize right away things are off. I know the schizoaffective stare. It’s unnerving,‘it’s a completely flat affect face with a stare so intense it bores through you. And she came out with that. And initially she just stared. I started by asking who lives with you (I already got all this info from mom), and she answers “my daughter lives in the vent, want to know her name?”

I’m like “ok, you have a daughter? What’s her name?” And then comes the stare. A solid minute of the intense stare. No answer. No expression. Just the Terminator stare. Then she says “I can’t tell you her name, she’ll die”

Oook, this isn’t period woes. I could barely get an in context answer for most assessment questions. Or if I did it would be so out of left field. Like when I ask how she fills her day lately she would say “I babysit my 12yr old son for breast milk”….me blinking thinking should I ask…..nope let’s just drop it

But it’s ok, she changed the subject for me by saying “someone put a hex on me. It’s because I have a door in me”

Ok this is nonsensical, let’s get to the meat and potatoes. “Your mom said you tore out your earrings today, is this true? Do you remember doing this?” She nods yes. “Why?” “To save a little boy. And my daughter”…..All right, she’s actively hurting herself completely based in delusion, this is pretty bad

Me: “are you thinking about hurting yourself again?” Her: “voices went inside my tongue. My tongue moves by itself”

Ok I appreciate all the evidence you are mentally unwell, let’s retry the question: “are you still thinking about hurting yourself?” Her: “I have over 100 children. When I had my son my bf had a gun”

I’m like ok this is going nowhere. Her mom clearly doesn’t understand mental health, and is probably not in the best position to keep her safe. So I had to go over shift spending about 20 mins giving mom psychoeducation (yes it’s a real thing). Then going to get the girl mental health help against her will. Sorry once you are ripping your earrings out of your head in psychosis, I have an professional obligation to act

Anyway, after a few slow weeks it was interesting

[magnetaress]

Originally Posted by NopeNopeNopeNope [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

Had a request today from a Hispanic, Spanish speaking, parent of a 19yr old gal. Had to talk to the parent through an interpreter phone service to get background info

 

Mom says she’s calling because daughter ripped her earrings out of her ears and threw her phone to break it today. I ask what’s the context, why do you think she might have done these things? Her mom is like oh I dunno, she gets like this when it’s her period. I’m thinking really? You reached out for mental health assistance for teenage period angst?

Turns out her mom was like the worst hypothetical guesser in the world because that was so fucking off base it wasn’t even on the same planet. Nor was her daughter, I dunno what planet she was on but it wasn’t Earth

(Note: I have a dark sense of humor but this is sad. Possible onset age 19 no hard drug use, these are max-sad situations because it often means a lifetime of serious up to life threatening mental health struggles)

But keep in mind I’m going into talking to her (English speaking thank God, phone translators are so awkward) daughter thinking this is just some period moodiness

But having worked in the field for 17 years I can recognize right away things are off. I know the schizoaffective stare. It’s unnerving,‘it’s a completely flat affect face with a stare so intense it bores through you. And she came out with that. And initially she just stared. I started by asking who lives with you (I already got all this info from mom), and she answers “my daughter lives in the vent, want to know her name?”

I’m like “ok, you have a daughter? What’s her name?” And then comes the stare. A solid minute of the intense stare. No answer. No expression. Just the Terminator stare. Then she says “I can’t tell you her name, she’ll die”

Oook, this isn’t period woes. I could barely get an in context answer for most assessment questions. Or if I did it would be so out of left field. Like when I ask how she fills her day lately she would say “I babysit my 12yr old son for breast milk”….me blinking thinking should I ask…..nope let’s just drop it

But it’s ok, she changed the subject for me by saying “someone put a hex on me. It’s because I have a door in me”

Ok this is nonsensical, let’s get to the meat and potatoes. “Your mom said you tore out your earrings today, is this true? Do you remember doing this?” She nods yes. “Why?” “To save a little boy. And my daughter”…..All right, she’s actively hurting herself completely based in delusion, this is pretty bad

Me: “are you thinking about hurting yourself again?” Her: “voices went inside my tongue. My tongue moves by itself”

Ok I appreciate all the evidence you are mentally unwell, let’s retry the question: “are you still thinking about hurting yourself?” Her: “I have over 100 children. When I had my son my bf had a gun”

I’m like ok this is going nowhere. Her mom clearly doesn’t understand mental health, and is probably not in the best position to keep her safe. So I had to go over shift spending about 20 mins giving mom psychoeducation (yes it’s a real thing). Then going to get the girl mental health help against her will. Sorry once you are ripping your earrings out of your head in psychosis, I have an professional obligation to act

Anyway, after a few slow weeks it was interesting

Don't feel bad.

You gave that girl an opportunity for a better quality of life. If she takes her meds. Gets therapy. And her mom basically understands her daughter is essentially disabled with a real illness and not choosing to be this way.

Shits hard. Thank you for doing the hard shit.

High five from me. 🙌