10kpp Giveaway, all welcome to participate

[nafgan]

I was playing on live, PoP era. At this time I was in college and just logged on to do whatever. In PoK I'm sitting around and I see a tell, something along the lines of "Sondria says out of character 'can anyone help me get my corpse out of the greater divide?'" I think about it and figure what the heck I'm not doing much. so I send a tell "whereabouts did you die in GD?"

I almost immediately get a reply like Sondria says "I take your **** in my mouth and gently massage your ***sack, I feel you growing bigger and warmer in my mouth. I can't wait to take it all"

I lol'd at this point. She(he?) then sends another "oops mt!" and that was about the end of that.

Later on I finally saw the character sitting around chatting (as well as being flirty with emotes and all that) with a monk. She informs the monk in tells that her daddy is out buying her a new computer chair because she broke the old one...

I never did help her get her corpse back.

[visage]

Originally Posted by JenJen [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.]

one of my guilds back in classic also had a rl affair that came out and everything got lulzy

actually i must admit in my mid-teens i kind of told some fibs and broke up a couple in another guild. ahh to be young and carefree again

Come visit my house , where you can be young and carefree in my bed

[Bubbles]

If rainflush doesn't win, i'll put together a 2nd place prize for him, because that was pretty epic and made me laugh pretty hard.

[Brandonian10]

Mine is a tale of then and now.

In 2000 I played a low level paladin, and I mainly fought in Oasis. At 9 years old, I remember the game being very difficult for me.. especially when it came to a specific mob that wandered those deserts. Everyone has those game messages that really make their asshole pucker up immediately.. you know what i'm talking about. You see them and you know you will promptly die. My list goes something like this:

1) You feel yourself starting to appear.
2) "FROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAK!!!"
3) "Damn my eyes.. you're just another mirage!"

This story regards #3.

Desert madmen were the bane of my existence. It seemed like I was always being killed by them. You see, I was instructed to only attack things that were blue to me. The madmen were blue to me but they were a major undercon because you never knew what class you would get (those nuking/rooting wizards and druids always wrecked my shit). And i was too young to understand this.

Enter Project 1999. I've been playing here on and off for about a year (it's awesome), and I've come to understand that this game is nowhere near as difficult as I remembered it being (its a lot easier at 19 than 9). I've leveled up 3 characters in oasis with no problems whatsoever. The desert madmen and sand giants did not pose the deadly threats they once did, not even a little. It was simple to avoid them.
And this is the way its been for me here. I'm almost cocky in playstyle compared to my restricted in-game actions as a child.

And so a few days ago, I was duoing my 19 paladin with my RL best friend (18 mage) on the shoreline in oasis killing deepwaters. I went further into the desert to tag a wandering orc warrior that conned blue. As I was pulling it back to shore, I saw that unmistakable message..

"Damn my eyes.. You're just another mirage!"

For a second I felt the slightest twinge of fear, a long forgotten memory of my childhood. Then I laughed.. how pathetic. The desert madman conned green, so I didn't pay him any mind and kept running back. I understand this game now, and through logical thinking this mob can no longer intimidate me.

But Everquest has a way of humbling us all.
And then...

A desert madman begins to cast a spell.
Your feet adhere to the ground.

(a wandering SG paths near the madman, who is nuking from afar. He decides to help..)

A sand giant hits YOU for 71 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 71 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 64 points of damage.
A sand giant kicks YOU for 21 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 55 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 67 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 57 points of damage.
A sand giant hits YOU for 72 points of damage.

etc..

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

I was stunned (both virtually and mentally). But later I couldn't help but smile. This is why I love this game, and what makes it so unique. There will never be another quite like it.

Touché, desert madman. Touché..

[Baa]

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I lost my corpse in Kithicor
In West Freeport born and raised
In the Commonlands where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all nuking some orcs outside of the inn
When a couple of friends said "Lets cut through Kithicor"
When an undead cleric started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my frienda got scared
And said "We are gating the hell outta here"

I whistled for a SoW and a druid came near the
Wood Elf said "Fresh" and had a flowers in his hair
If anything I could say that this druid was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo CR in Kithicor
I pulled up to the forest about seven or eight
And I yelled to the druid "Yo, here smell you later"
Found my corpse I was finally there
To loot my corpse then off to...

You have been struck down by wrath
You have been slain by an Undead Cleric
LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

[Atmas]

Some good stories.

My friends and I had had mischievous habbits of messing with each other while we played EQ back in our youth.

At one point my friend who was a ranger (fail) in his teens decieded to take a boat ride to find better xp. Naturally as he was passing near by an island with extremly red cyclopses we thought it would be a good time to have one of us restrain him while the other jumped his character off the boat.

Another incident involved us changing our friends Hotkey for shouting "Train!" while he was in the restroom. He was leveling in Unrest with a group and kept looking over his shoulder wondering why we were giggling in the background. Sure enough eventually his group gets overwhelmed and he is huffing it to the zoneline spaming his hotkey which has him shout (mind you we were less politically correct in those days)"I'm a big flamer and love to get d***s in the a**"). We were laughing hysterically as he recieved responses in OOC such as "Um thats great dude..."

[Atmas]

Marglar,

I remember hearing about a GM even and running over to the zone it was in to see what it was about. When I got there I heard the event had been canceled because the GM who was running the event as some custom character for the plot of the event had been manaburned by a Pande wiz.

I also remember a screenshot of a GM looting his corpse after he had accidentally autoattacked a Nexus Scion at the NK spire.

Which reminds me of a trick people used to pull. They would attack the scions which were rooted non summoning mobs then ask people who came later on to the spire for simple buffs. The people who gave small buffs like SoW and Lev wouldn't realize they had scion agro until they walked up for a stone and would get hit in the face for like 2k lol.

[CrotchCricket]

Well, since we're all busting out the when i was in eigth grade playing EQ stories, i have a pretty good one.

Well i had to be about 14, me and my friends were all playing EQ, and we figured out that people who play EQ are dumb(of course we all know this now). Anyways we would convince people to give us good items such as Yak, Mith 2handers, FBSS, GEBS, etc on our "traders" aka some newb we made in freeport about 10 mins ago. Tell people we would log right back with our main chars give them some phony name and run off with the goods. Well after about 3 months of doing this and have tons of rubicite and other great stuff. I was helping a friend lvl up in South Karana near the aviak city. I was playing a cleric and healing him (warrior). we're chopping the darters and all of a sudden i get summoned up to the very top of the penthouse. Not in the Penthouse...on the ROOF! Above Krak's head, standing on his house! I'm like wtf is going on. Suddenly a GM sends me a tell. He explains the situation that ya know someone has logs and the deleted newb char names keep coming back to my account. I deny, deny, deny. But of course I have some stolen goods in my inventory. Meanwhile my warrior friend was spamming in /shout for the GM's to let me go. They silenced his ability to talk, all of a sudden i get ported. Where? To the Qeynos Aquaducts.

Now, im in a little 12 x 12 room, with no ability to talk to anyone but the GM. The GM informed me that what i did was very very serious. And i was gunna be suspended blah blah blah. Well i got pissed, told the GM his mom was getting banged by ex felons in her trailer at that very moment and then i camped assuming my ass was suspended. Well i tried logging in a few minutes later and sure enough my account was suspended. So i called them lame fucks up at Sony (reliving this is getting me all fired up again) they confirmed i was suspended for a week.

Well one week later, i log into my character, and im sitting the Qeynos Aquaducts in my little 12 x 12 room. I couldnt gate, i could cast any spells, or talk to anyone in any channels. So i figured that i had to wait for a GM, that was the only channel that would work. After a couple of hours, I found a guide that had logged in. Sent her a tell, explaining to her I was trapped per the GM. Well long story short, she had no idea the 12 x 12 room existed in Qeynos Aquaducts, i gave her the loc coords, and she ported to me. She said that she had contacted her superior and had confirmed that I was ok to be "released". She also said that her boss had told her "Hatebreedian is the most malignant evil seed ever presented to the Everquest community." Well she ported me out and I was on my way....

Two weeks later, I was banned wearing a full suit of rubicite and 2 yaks and a FBSS on my lil dorf warrior. I had to be the coolest looking person to ever be banned. Not to mention all those yaks and m2h's that were stolen helped me purchase my first car! Thank ya paypal!

Madprops (Hatebreedian)
P.S. - If I ganked you, no i will not reimburse you!

[EnderWiggin]

I probably shouldn't tell this story, but I'm only level 8 and it's worth the risk for 10kpp.

A friend and I, being veterans of EQ since 1999, and bored with POP that had just come out, we ventured out to start hacking EQ.

We found that it (was) possible to prevent the EQ client from consuming the ammo when thrown/shot etc. So, we made a berserker, and got one of those thrown weapons that has 0 delay. (I forget the name of the item, but it is really rare or lore or something, so they're not overpowered in live)

Since we had 0 delay, we could throw as rapidly as we could send packets to the server.

We programmed our own /throw command with a parameter for how many times we wanted to throw. We made it so that we could queue it up, too by targeting mobs one at a time and executing the command. Kiting 20 mobs at once in Plane of Nightmare? No sweat.

So, the story is: We could solo just about anything that couldn't kill us in two hits. It didn't matter if it summoned. See screenshots in the link below. Terris Thule was our biggest accomplishment in cheating, but we also solo'd Yelinak, Overking, WW dragons, Zlandicar, etc. Note: On the Terris-Thule screenshot, you don't see the killing blow because we had to camp out to drop aggro from the approaching gargoyles.

Screenshots

Disclaimer: The exploit was fixed (unintentionally) by a separate patch. I don't have contact with him anymore and I personally don't do any sort of hacking as I don't have time (work full time programming). So, developers/moderators: don't suspect me of cheating in p99. I'm clean. [You must be logged in to view images. Log in or Register.] Also, he gets almost all of the credit as the programmer at that time. I was just an idea generator.

[EnderWiggin]

CrotchCricket, your story makes me want to come kill you repeatedly at your bind point.